


Through it all

by Clonchi



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:44:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 75,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4407050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clonchi/pseuds/Clonchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana and Brittany have been estranged for 10 years. What happens when Brittany shows up again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just My Imagination

**Author's Note:**

> Keep an eye out for titles, since we're gonna be time jumping/ changing POVs!

 

_Present Day_

Santana looked around her bedroom filled with pictures of her family and couldn't help but get teary. The party noises filtered from downstairs through the closed door and Santana smiled, reassured that everyone was having a good time. She walked to her side of the closet and standing on a small stepstool, reached to the back of the topmost shelf to retrieve a small wooden box with B&S engraved on the top. She ghosted her fingers over the engraving, noting the dust that had gathered on it. She hadn't looked at it in years, but she got a strong urge to do it and she couldn't resist. She carried it gently to the bed and placed it on her lap. After taking a deep breath, gearing for what she'd see, she opened the latch and let the lid fall back. A smile crossed her lips at the memories staring back at her. With trembling fingers, she went over the various items in the box, pictures, clippings, letters, jewelry, movie stubs, and other paraphernalia that she saved over the years. Each item on this box held a memory. Some were happy, some sad and some heartbreaking. She focused on a picture at the very bottom of the box. She held it up and could barely recognize the nervous girl smiling back at her wearing a demure dress and a blue backpack. She turned the picture over and read the caption in her mom's neat handwriting: "Tanita's first day at McKinley High". It took a while to conjure up that day in her mind, because it seemed like a lifetime ago…

* * *

_Freshman year_

Santana changes for the third time that morning, and walks expectantly into the living room, where Abuela is waiting. Santana wrings her wrists and straightens her dress, as Abuela puts down her coffee mug and looks her over.

"Is this one better?" Abuela takes a minute to look at Santana, and the small Latina is practically jumping in place. Abuela finally smiles and claps.

"That's the one, Santana, perfect!" Santana lets out a happy squeal and runs over to hug her Abuela. Alma holds her and kisses her head. "You'll be great today, Tanita, don't worry."

"Thanks for sleeping over last night, Abuela. I was super nervous!" Alma smiles as she remembers her granddaughter's call the day before.

_"Abuelaaaaaaaaaaa pleaaaaaaaase can you come over?" Alma immediately straightens up, thinking something is wrong._

_"What happened Santana? Todo bien?"_

_"Sí Abuela, sólo que… I'm starting high school tomorrow and I'm freaking out… I need oatmeal cookies." Alma smiles at Santana's small voice and sighs._

_"Ok Tanita, I'm on my way. Put your mamá on the phone, please." Alma hears Santana yell "MOOOOM" and laughs. Maribel then picks up the phone._

_"Sorry mamá, I told Santana that I would make the cookies this time, but she insisted they don't taste the same…"_

_"It's ok mija, I'm on my way, can you pick up everything at the store for me?"_

_"Sure mamá, see you soon!"_

_Alma had rushed over and made Santana the oatmeal cookies she liked so much, and they had talked and talked all afternoon. Santana insisted on hearing Alma's experience on her first day of high school, and Alma was quick to tell her that high school experiences were different here in the States, but told her the story anyway: How she had met the nicest boy that first day, and he later turned out to be her first husband. Santana was starry eyed, wondering if that would happen to her, too._

Santana lets go of her grandmother and rushes to the kitchen, where Maribel is already eating breakfast. Santana sits down and Maribel pushes a plate of toast her way.

"Eat up, Santana. You need your energy today." Santana reluctantly grabs a piece of toast and drinks some juice. Maribel looks up at the clock and stands up. "Ok mija, get your backpack and come back so I can take a quick picture, and then hurry or you'll miss the bus." Santana rolls her eyes at her mom, but smiles for the picture anyway.

Santana says goodbye to her mom and abuela at the door, before walking to the bus stop two blocks down. She feels nervous about starting at a new school, not sure how she'll like the people she met at orientation. She also wonders how soon she can try out for the Varsity Cheerios, because her coach at JV told her she had a good chance. She has heard so many scary stories about Coach Sylvester, but she hopes she can get on her good side.

The bus is thankfully half full, so she can have a seat all to herself. Abuela always said that she needs to be confident and strong, more so than others, so she hopes she can project that image, even though she feels like fainting as the imposing McKinley High building comes into view. She has her schedule memorized so she won't appear to be just some lost freshman, so she furtively glances at the classroom doors trying to find her first class: Spanish. She thought it was a waste of time to take that class since,  _hello,_ she's been speaking it at home since she was one! But mom insisted, so here she is. She takes a seat in the right corner of the last row, to get a good view of the rest of the class. Almost everyone looks as nervous as Santana feels, though some come in in groups, chatting. There are these two guys, one who is taller than a lamppost and the other who looks like a skunk is sitting on his head, who come in talking and making jokes and sit in front of Santana. Skunk Head Guy looks Santana over and nods in her direction. She just nods back and looks away.  _Typical bad boy attitude, I know your type, dude._ She looks around as the class starts filling up, there's a four-eyed guy in a wheelchair with these weird gloves who takes the seat in the front of the class, and some pig-tails girl who comes in carrying what looks like 4 different dictionaries. A burly dude sits next to Santana and just half smiles at her. She decides to ignore him. When the bell rings, the teacher walks in. He writes his name on the board "Mr. Shuester" and turns around with the widest shit-eating grin Santana has ever seen and a ridiculous vest. When he says "Buenos días, clase!" Santana immediately knows this guy's going to be unbearable. She rolls her eyes and sits back, ready to hate everything that comes out of his mouth.

The rest of the day goes by without much incident. Santana is used to people watching, so she spends most of her lessons that day gauging her fellow freshmen and talking to those who seem interesting. She finally learns that Skunk Head Guy is called Puck, and Lamppost Dude's name is Finn. After lunch, she spots a sign-up sheet for Cheerios and immediately walks over to put her name down, but sees that there's a line. She stands in line behind a blonde girl, who turns around suddenly. Santana gets a flash of hazel eyes and is momentarily speechless.

"Hi, do you have a pen? I left mine in my locker." The blonde smiles.

"Y-yeah, sure, here you go." Santana hands over the pen and the blonde smiles as she turns to write her name.

"Thanks, see you around!" Before Santana can say anything else, the blonde is gone. Shaking her head a little, Santana moves forward to write her name on the sign-up sheet, noting that the blonde's name is Quinn.

When she gets back home, Alma is still there, watching her telenovelas. Santana comes right in and gives her a kiss, sitting impatiently next to her, knowing full well that she's not allowed to talk until there's a commercial break. When a man starts talking about the wonders of a certain shaving cream, Alma mutes the TV and turns around to give Santana her full attention.

"So, tell me, Tanita. How was your first day?" Santana takes a deep breath and launches into a lightning-speed summary.

"It was fine, I got to meet some people, my Spanish teacher is a dud, I didn't get lost, thankfully and I signed up for Cheerios!"

"That's nice! Is that like the cheerleading team you were in?"

"Yes, but this is on another level, they are super competitive and go to championships and stuff. Try outs are this Friday and I'm really nervous, abuela." Alma pats Santana on the knee.

"You'll be fine, niña, don't worry. Now, go upstairs, freshen up, and when my novela is over, we can have some more oatmeal cookies, how's that?" Santana smiles and rushes up to her room to drop her school bag. She thankfully doesn't have any homework, but she wants to start reading up on the books they gave her, so she doesn't fall behind. She hates studying and doing homework, but mostly, she hates looking stupid, so she's not going to let that happen.

After eating what felt like a million cookies, Alma kisses her granddaughter goodbye and leaves. Santana settles in front of the TV, where she falls asleep. When Maribel comes home later that night, she wakes Santana up for dinner and Santana retells her first day experience.

The next day, when she walks into English class, she spots the blonde from yesterday sitting in the middle of the room. The blonde girl turns and smiles at Santana, motioning her to sit in the empty spot next to her. Santana walks over and takes a seat. The blonde girl looks at her and flashes a pageant smile her way.

"Hi, I'm Quinn Fabray." Santana shakes Quinn's hand and smiles back.

"Santana Lopez, hi." Quinn crosses her legs as she eyes Santana.

"So, I saw you signed up for the Cheerios, too. Were you in a cheerleading squad in middle school?" Santana relaxes a bit. Talking about cheerleading is something she can do.

"Yeah, and I was in the JV squad, but I hear the Cheerios are in a whole other league." Quinn nods wisely.

"Oh yes, I hear Coach Sylvester makes them practice pretty much every day. It's a big deal being a Cheerio, you know…"

Santana suddenly feels a knot in her stomach. "I hope I get in, then…"

Quinn sighs. "Me too. Are you practicing for tryouts?"

"Not really, why, should I?" There's a touch of panic in Santana's tone, but Quinn just shakes her head, reassuringly.

"I don't think so, I mean, you already know routines, right? So that should be fine." Santana relaxes. As the bell rings, the girls get their things ready for class. Santana now breathes easier knowing she probably just made a new friend.

Santana and Quinn spend the rest of the week getting to know each other, gearing up for Cheerios tryouts and what it would mean to them to get in. Finally, the bell rings for their last class on Friday, and the two girls meet in the hallway to walk together over to the football field for tryouts. Walking in, they see that the entire Cheerios squad is there, practicing on one end of the field. On the other, a group of girls sits together on the bleachers under a sign that says "Tryouts". The girls walk over to the group of girls just as they hear a whistle blowing and a voice thundering from a megaphone.

"ALL RIGHT HOPEFULS! Fall out in rows of 5!" Coach Sylvester is striding over from the other side of the field. The group of girls quickly gets into rows of 5, Santana and Quinn making sure they are in the first row, front and center. Santana takes a quick look behind her and notes that there are between 20 to 30 girls here, freshmen, sophomores and even some juniors. She takes a deep breath and looks straight ahead to calm her nerves. Coach Sylvester is followed by a mean looking Cheerio and a woman in a tracksuit with a clipboard.

"This is Brandy, Head Cheerio, and this is Two. That's all you need to know about the one with the clipboard, she'll be tracking your performance today. We will decide which ones of you have what it takes to be a Cheerio." Coach Sylvester walks between the rows of girls with her megaphone in tow, while Head Cheerio Brandy just smirks, and Two starts taking notes furiously.

"This is a two-part process, FIRST, you will be tested on your athletic abilities, THEN you will be given a routine to perform, where we will see your cheering abilities."

Coach Sylvester and Head Cheerio Brandy sit behind a table in midfield while Two stands behind the girls. Coach Sylvester blows her whistle, and tryouts start.

It's more brutal than Santana had imagined. They make them run, squat, jump and tumble. After each rep, Coach Sylvester cuts one or two people, so only half of the original group make it to the second part of tryouts: The routine. Santana is so focused on doing well, she only registers that Quinn is still there, which gives her some reassurance. At least she's not in this alone. She has no time to check on the rest of the girls there, because they are constantly moving and doing reps. After an hour, sweaty and aching all over, the last 10 girls are finally given a break to drink some water while Coach Sylvester, Head Cheerio Brandy and Two get together to deliberate.

Quinn downs half her water bottle. "Jeez, I feel like I'm dying."

Santana splashes some water on her face. "I know what you mean; I just hope real practice isn't as grueling as this."

"I have a nagging feeling it's gonna be worse… But hey, it's all worth it right? To be a Cheerio?" Santana nods her agreement, because she can't talk or she'll vomit. She puts her hands on her knees and lets her head drop, trying to catch her breath. After 5 minutes, Coach Sylvester blows her whistle and the girls immediately stand to attention.

"All right, everyone, make one single line by the bleachers. If I call your name, come up here." The girls rush to form a line, Santana is on one end of the line, while Quinn is somewhere in the middle of the line. Santana feels her stomach churning.  _Relax Lopez, you nailed it, you know you did._

Coach Sylvester stands in front of them, glaring. She points somewhere to the other end of the line and calls out on her megaphone. "Generic Blonde Number 5, here." She points down the middle. "Generic Blonde Number 3, here." With a jolt, Santana sees it's Quinn. Coach Sylvester looks over to where Santana is, and then she points straight at her. Santana's heart stops for a second. "Charo, here." For a second, she wants to correct Coach Sylvester and tell her that's not her name, but she stops herself and walks over to the front, next to Quinn and a taller blonde, who Santana notices for the first time.

"The rest of you get out of my practice!" Coach Sylvester hands her megaphone over to Two, and looks over the three girls.

"Congratulations girls on making the team. Now if you thought that was hard, you have no idea what's in store for you." Coach Sylvester smiles her half smirk and motions Head Cheerio Brandy over. "Brandy here will get you your uniforms after practice and go over the schedules with you. Just so you know, you WILL be required to attend practice one full hour before the rest of the squad because you need to get up to speed. Now we're going to go over to the rest of the squad to start your real practice. Let's go." And with that, Coach Sylvester leads the girls over to the rest of the squad. The three girls fall silently behind her, scared to talk. Head Cheerio Brandy leans over to the girls and whispers:

"Welcome, bitches! Hope you can keep up." And then she goes to join the rest of the team. Coach Sylvester presents them as "the newbies" and grabs the megaphone back from Two to make the Cheerios pair up for stretching exercises.

"Ok, Tall Generic Blonde, Charo, together. Regular Generic Blonde, Black Katy Perry, together…" She goes on pairing Cheerios, as Santana turns to the tall blonde. She notices bright blue eyes sparkling as the tall blonde smiles at her.

"Hi, I'm Brittany." Her smile is so genuine, Santana is speechless.

"Santana." The Latina smiles, as they start to stretch.

Santana can't help but stare at Brittany throughout practice. She just makes things look…  _effortless._ Whenever Brittany catches Santana looking, she smiles at the Latina, completely unconcerned by her staring. During their water break, Brittany goes over to Santana to talk, and Santana introduces her to Quinn. The three girls immediately hit it off, talking and laughing.

When practice is over, HC Brandy takes the girls to the Cheerios' HQ and hands them their uniforms and practice schedules.

"Cheerios always wear high ponytails and clean uniforms, if Sue ever sees you with dirt on your uniform she'll cut you from the team. Make sure to brand everything with your name so you don't misplace it. At every practice you drop off your uniform here to get it dry cleaned and you pick it up before next practice. That's why you get three sets. Here's your official Cheerios swag bag, everything here is mandatory for you to wear because it comes from our boosters. Questions?" The three girls look at each other dumbstruck and back at HC Brandy and shake their heads. HC Brandy smiles. "Good. See you on Monday!" And with that, she walks away, leaving the girls to sort through all the new stuff they have. They chat excitedly as they go through their new backpacks, sneakers, uniforms and even socks. Brittany then pouts.

"How are we supposed to brand these? I don't want to burn them…"

Santana shakes her head and chuckles. "You won't have to, Brittany, I think she meant just sew our initials on them or something like that." Brittany looks dismayed. "You can probably ask your mom to sew them if you don't know how to."

"I think it's best to put labels on them, actually. Makes it look neater, don't you think?" Quinn chimes in, smoothing the fabric of her uniform.

Brittany shrugs. "I guess. Whatever is easier."

Santana notices Brittany's tone and leans over to whisper. "If you want, I can help sew them in for you, Brittany." Brittany turns to her, smiles and nods.

Quinn's phone then rings, she moves away to answer it.

"Thank you for that, I just don't think my mom knows how to sew."

Santana shrugs. "No problem, Brittany, I can help you."

"Great!" The girls smile at each other, as Quinn walks back over.

"That was my mom, she's waiting for me outside. Either of you girls need a ride?"

The two girls shake their heads. Quinn shrugs and waves at them as she walks out of the changing room.

Brittany turns to Santana, as she puts all her things away. "So which way are you going?"

"Oh, my mom is supposed to pick me up after work, I thought this would take longer, so now I have to wait til 7." Santana puts her bag aside and sits down, playing with her new Cheerios water bottle. Brittany zips her bag up and sits beside Santana.

"Ok, so I'll wait with you…"

Santana shakes her head in protest. "No, really, you don't have to."

Brittany shrugs. "It's no big deal. I rode my bike over, so I can leave at any time. I'll just tell my mom I'll be a little late." Without waiting for a response, Brittany fishes out her phone and starts typing. She then turns to Santana, a triumphant smile on her face. "Done!"

Santana can't believe the blonde girl. She looks down and smiles, genuinely touched. "Thanks…"

The next hour flies by, as the girls sit cross-legged on the floor, a sewing kit between them, and an intent look on Brittany's face as she finishes up the last P on the last sock. "This is harder than it looks…"

Santana chuckles. "Yeah, I practically cursed my way through sewing classes at my grandmother's church. But I guess they were useful."

Brittany puts her newly BP branded equipment aside and takes a deep breath. "Done! Yay!" She puts her hand up to high five Santana, who hesitates a moment before putting her own hand up and high fiving this bubbly tall blonde girl. Santana's phone buzzes and she picks it up.

"It's my mom, she's on her way. Let's walk out." The girls stand up and pick up their bags, then make their way to the front of the school. Brittany unlocks her bicycle and wheels it over to Santana. As Maribel's car approaches, Santana turns to Brittany, unsure how to say goodbye.

"So, um, thanks for waiting with me."

Brittany shrugs and half smiles. "No problem, thanks for helping me with the sewing! Now I can mend Lord Tubbington's sweater vest." Seeing Santana's puzzled look, Brittany grins. "Lord Tubbington is my cat, he needs his vest now that nights are getting chilly."

"Oh…" Santana chuckles. "Well, I'm glad I could help keep Lord Tubbington warm then! I'll see you on Monday?"

"Definitely, see ya!" Brittany starts to angle her bike, gives Santana a small wave and turns. Santana watches her go for a bit, and then gets in the car with her mom. She gives her mom a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for picking me up, ma."

"No problem, mija. Who is that?"

"That? Oh." Santana smiles. "That's Brittany, she's in the Cheerios with me."

Maribel smiles. "I'm glad you're making some friends already!"

Santana looks back at Brittany. "Yeah, me too."

* * *

Next Monday, Santana is up and ready for school a full 20 minutes before she actually has to leave. Her uniform is pressed, her sneakers are immaculate and she has so much hairspray on, she's worried her dad's cigarette is going to ignite her head. She does a little twirl for her parents, who are both having breakfast in the kitchen.

Maribel gives her daughter a kiss as she puts a plate of toast and eggs in front of her. "You look great, mija. Eat up!"

Santana picks up a napkin and puts it over her chest before picking up a piece of toast and gingerly eating. "Thanks, ma."

Eduardo Lopez puts down his newspaper to look at his daughter. He has a slight frown. "Hija, you couldn't ask for a longer skirt?"

Maribel and Santana roll their eyes in sync, but it's Maribel who speaks first. "Basta Eduardo, that's how those skirts are. Besides, she has shorts beneath it, don't you?" Maribel raises her eyebrows as she stares meaningfully at Santana, who hesitates for just a fraction.

"Y-yeah, papi, I have shorts under my skirt, don't worry. This is how they're supposed to look. It's part of the Cheerios mystique."

Eduardo purses his lips and lets out a "hmmmmph" before disappearing behind his newspaper again. Santana finishes her breakfast quickly and gives her parents a kiss each before setting out to school.

_This is it, Lopez. Head high, you're now part of an elite. You got this._

She walks into school in her new uniform, noticing how people  _notice her_ now. She walks to her locker determinedly and puts her stuff away, when she spots a fellow Cheerio right next to her, with a smile. She looks up and finds those piercing blue eyes sparkling. She immediately brightens up.

"Hi Brittany! You look great!"

Brittany looks down and sheepishly smiles. "Thanks… My dad took like a million pictures of me this morning before we got in the car… looks like our lockers are right next to each other…" Brittany fishes out a piece of paper from her backpack and opens the lock with the new combination.

"Wait, you've had this locker all last week? I didn't see you here…" Santana sees Brittany blushing behind her Algebra book.

"Well, I had a different one but they changed me this morning because I left some mice in there on Friday and they died…"

Santana is horrified. "Why did you have mice in your locker?"

Brittany looks at Santana with sad eyes. "Because they were homeless so I thought I'd let them live in my locker. But I forgot to leave food for them…" Santana is about to laugh before she catches Brittany's tone. She stops herself because she doesn't want to hurt the blonde's feelings.

"Well, don't leave any more wildlife in your locker ok? It's not a nice place to live, anyways…" Santana smiles and Brittany smiles back.

"Deal."

The two girls walk together and say goodbye in front of Santana's classroom.

Santana notices that being a Cheerio changes everything. People treat her differently, even teachers, and she loves that feeling. Like people think she's on a different league, and they are afraid to approach her. The most important change is that she now has two friends to share this with. Brittany, Quinn and Santana become almost inseparable, working extra hard during Cheerios practice so they can keep up. One Cheerio is good, but as Quinn says, three is way better.

A few weeks later, it's the football team's first game. As Coach Sylvester loves to point out, the football team is awful so they'll just use their halftime show as another practice for their Regional's routine. Santana is nervous because it's the first time they are performing with the Cheerios in front of a crowd. They are all on the sidelines watching as the football team gets slaughtered.

"Ugh, I don't think I can do this…", Santana says for the tenth time. She holds her stomach and turns, as Brittany puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Relax, Santana, you'll be fine. There aren't even that many people here." She starts to look around the stadium when she spots something on the top of the right side bleachers. Her face falls. "Oh no…" She covers her head with her hands. Santana quickly turns around to see what happened.

"What's wrong? Finn dropped the ball again?" When she notices a bright red sign on the bleachers, she chuckles and turns towards Brittany, who is now facing the other way. "Now THAT'S adorable…" Brittany lets out a moan which just makes Santana smile even wider.

"Stoooooooooooop, it's not!"

Santana walks over to Brittany and makes her turn around. "Oh, c'mon! 'Go Britt'? Is that your parents? I think it's great that they showed up!" Brittany finally puts her hands down and looks at Santana, pouting. "C'mon, wave at them at least." Santana grabs Brittany's wrist and makes her wave towards her parents, who wave enthusiastically back, her dad pointing at the sign and smiling. Brittany lets out a little laugh.

"They're so embarrassing…"

Santana shakes her head, smiling. "No, it's sweet… they're proud of you." Santana feels a small pang in her heart, remembering how her parents didn't even look away from the tv to ask if she wanted them to come. "And they should be, you're a great Cheerio." Brittany's eyes glimmer.

"You think so?"

"Totally, your moves are awesome! I wish I could make it look as easy as you do…"

Brittany blushes and smiles. "Well… I think you're pretty awesome, too."

Santana links arms with Brittany and walks her over to the rest of the Cheerios. "Now let's go show them just how awesome we are, ok?" Brittany nods as they join the rest of the team and gear up for halftime.

They are amazing, but only receive a silent glare from Sue. HC Brandy assures them it's the most they're ever gonna get and to get used to it. After the game ends, Brittany drags Santana over to meet her parents. Pierce and Whitney climb down the steps and rush over to give Brittany a hug.

"Oh honey you were great! I almost had a heart attack when you did those flips!" Whitney wipes Brittany's cheek, where she left some lipstick.

"True, Britt, you were awesome!" Pierce is beaming as he puts his arm around his wife.

Brittany is now visibly blushing. "Thanks mom, dad… Um, this is Santana!" She gives Santana a nudge and Santana smiles timidly at the Pierce's. Whitney gives Santana a quick hug.

"Nice to meet you, Santana! You were amazing, too!"

"Um, thanks, Mrs. Pierce, that's nice of you to say…" Pierce claps his hands and rubs them together.

"So, Brittany, mom and I were wondering where you want to go for dinner, to celebrate your first Cheerios appearance!" Brittany looks over at Santana, whose face falls.

"Oh, dad, um, we don't have to go anywhere special – " Whitney interjects.

"Yes we do, honey, we know how hard you've worked, it's only right to celebrate!"

Santana starts to feel uncomfortable, so she starts to back away. "I'll let you guys figure this out, I gotta go catch the bus home." She looks up at Whitney. "Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Pierce." She turns to Brittany. "See ya, Britt."

Pierce cries out: "Wait, Santana!" Santana freezes and turns around, afraid Mr. Pierce is going to yell at her for being rude. "You don't have to take the bus, how about you come with us to dinner and then we'll drive you home?" Whitney and Pierce have matching smiles and start nodding. Santana turns to Brittany who mirrors her parents and mouths  _say yes._ Santana is startled, shakes her head to clear her thoughts and clears her throat.

"That's real sweet of you Mr. Pierce, thank you."

Whitney does a small jump. "Great! Ok girls, grab your things and we'll wait for you in the parking lot!" Whitney and Pierce turn around and walk hand in hand towards the parking lot. Santana turns around to look at Brittany, who's biting her lip.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to, Santana."

"No, I  _want_ to, I was just…" Santana sighs and throws her arms up. "I wasn't expecting an invitation, to be honest… but it sounds great." She smiles at Brittany, who lights up.

"Awesome, let's go then!" She grabs Santana's hand and the two girls hurry to the changing room to grab their things.

* * *

_Present day_

A knock on the door distracted Santana. She saw a blonde figure come in.

"Hey Q." Santana smiled as she tried to wipe away a stray tear.

"Hey, I was wondering where you ran off to…" Quinn noticed the open box in front of Santana. "San… how long have you been up here looking at this?"

Santana shrugged as Quinn sat next to her. "No idea, a while, I guess. I was feeling nostalgic." Quinn picked up a picture of the three girls in matching pajamas and chuckled.

"Was this our first Cheerio summer camp?"

Santana nodded. "Yeah, right before sophomore year. That's the summer we decided we were gonna be top Cheerios come hell or high water."

"God, we were so power-hungry…"

"We wanted to be popular and that was the way to get it, that's all." Santana shrugged again as Quinn put the picture back in the box. She pointed to a bracelet. "Is that what I think it is?" Santana picked it up and sighed.

"Yeah, that's my friendship bracelet… Britt gave it to me that first Christmas in high school. We wore it every day…" Quinn saw Santana's eyes start to water again, so she closed the box firmly.

"Ok, that's enough of that."

"Q, what the hell?" Quinn placed the wooden box on the bed and turned Santana so that they were face to face.

"I get it, you still miss her, but today is about Sophia. Not about you and Britt. She's downstairs being entertained by Mercedes and Rachel, but she has already asked about you a couple times, and next time I won't be able to distract her with ice cream. So check your make up and come back down, ok?" Quinn gave Santana a kiss on the cheek before turning away and closing the door behind her.

Santana stared at the box next to her and inhaled deeply.  _Quinn's right. That's enough memories for now._ She grabbed the box and placed it back on its spot on the top shelf. After reapplying her mascara, she walked back down the stairs and towards the small back yard, where she could hear several voices singing Frozen's "Let It Go". She groaned as she approached Quinn. "I thought they'd have sung that song already!"

Quinn laughed as she handed Santana a drink. "It's their 4th time singing it. I don't know who's more into it: Rachel, or Sophia." Santana rolled her eyes.

"Please, the dwarf never gets over that song."

Quinn elbowed Santana and frowned. "Don't call her that San, c'mon, how many times do I have to tell you off."

Santana rubbed her side and rolled her eyes again. "Fiiiiiiiiine… Just cause she's  _your_  dwarf…"

Quinn chuckled as the song faded out and both joined in on the applause. Just then, Sophia spotted Santana and yelled "Moooooom!" before running into Santana's arms. She grabbed both of Santana's cheeks. "Did you see us mommy? Did you see? Me and tía Rachel sang a duvet!"

Everybody laughed. Santana placed a kiss on Sophia's forehead and hugged her tightly. "I heard, mija! And it's called a  _duet…_  That's when two people sing together!" Sophia let out a small "oh…" and Santana put her down. "I think it's time for cake, don't you?" Sophia clapped her hands and jumped up and down excitedly.

"I'll go get it!" Mercedes walked back to the kitchen with Quinn and Rachel to get the cake, while Sophia grabbed her mom's hand and dragged her to the little arts and crafts corner Mercedes created for the kids. Sophia held up a picture above her head so Santana could see it.

"I drew this, mom! It's us, see?" She pointed at the two figures in the middle holding hands. "That's you, the big one, and that's me, the small one!"

Santana smiled at her daughter as she took the picture from her. "I see us, mija! Is that a microphone in my hand?"

Sophia nodded vigorously. "We're singing together! Like we do during bath time!"

"And what are we singing?" Santana braced herself for the answer she knew was coming.

"FROZEN!"

Santana muttered "Of course we are…" before she sighed and put the picture back down. "Well, I think it's an awesome painting, Sophe. Do you want to put it on the fridge later?" A smile came across Sophia's face. "I'll take that as a yes!" Santana embraced her daughter before turning around and seeing Mercedes carry in a big bright blue cake and setting it on the table. "Let's go get some cake, mija."

As everyone gathered around to sing happy birthday to Sophia in front of a big 4-shaped candle, Santana couldn't help but marvel at her little family gathered around the backyard. Sophia blew the candles and everyone clapped.

"Can I go play now ma?"

"Yes, mija, I'll cut the cake and call you when you can have some."

"Cool!" Sophia ran off to join Luke and Chris, who were sword-fighting with old paper towel rolls.

Santana started cutting the cake and putting it on the plates Rachel brought from the kitchen.

"So, I've been instructed to tell you to cut it with the Frozen songs."

Rachel pouted. "But Sophie loves them!"

"Yes, but the rest of us have heard enough of them to last for a lifetime…"

Rachel sighed and said "fine", before turning towards the kids. "Boys! Careful with those swords ok?"

Luke and Chris stopped for a second and shouted out in unison "Yes, mom!" before they continued to play with Sophia.

Santana rolled her eyes. "They're just paper towel rolls, Berry, chill… They won't hurt themselves."

"I know, but sometimes they can be a little rough and I don't want them to hit Sophia too hard!"

"She's a Lopez. She can take it…" Santana chuckled as she spread the plates on the table before calling the kids and adults over for cake. She made Sophia and the boys sit down before she gave them a piece of cake. "Now eat slowly, ok? Provecho."

"Gracias, ma!" Sophia dove in and ate a big piece of cake before smiling brightly at her mom.

Santana grabbed a piece of cake and moved over to the other table, where the adults were eating and laughing.

"What's so funny over here?" Santana sat next to Mercedes and took a bite of cake.

"We're betting on how long before Sophia asks Rachel to sing Let It Go again." Mercedes cracked up.

Sam chimed in. "And what you'll do to her if she says yes." Everybody laughed as Santana rolled her eyes.

"And  _I_ told them you said no more Frozen, so I would only tell Sophia we had to sing something else." Rachel straightened up.

"Like you have  _ever_ been able to say no to Sophia!" Rachel shot Quinn a look that made the blonde laugh louder. "Sorry love, but it's true… You turn to mush when it comes to little Sophie." Rachel muttered "not true…" as everyone laughed again. Quinn put an arm around Rachel and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"That's what happens for letting you come over so much! I need to get my baby away from all your Broadway show tunes before it's too late." Santana smirked at Rachel, who just pursed her lips. "But seriously, she couldn't stop talking about the day you took her on a tour of your show, she  _loved_ being on that spotlight."

"Ohhhh Santana you should've seen her, twirling center stage… My whole crew fell in love with her! She was much more excited than when we took the boys the first time, remember Quinn? They immediately started playing with the curtain and I had to drag them to my dressing room before my stage manager had a fit." She laughed at the memory. Just then, Sophia ran over with bits of frosting all over her face. Santana grabbed a napkin and tried to clean Sophia's mouth while the little one tried to speak.

"Hold still mija, let me clean you up."

"Ma, ma, I finished my cake!"

"I can see that, half of it is on your face…"

"Can I sing with tía Rachel now? Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Sam snorted and Mercedes elbowed him on the ribs. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"That's up to your tía, baby. Ask her." Sophia turned her big hazel eyes to Rachel and wrung her wrists, an exact copy of her mom.

"Tía, can we sing a song now?" Rachel took a moment to take a sip of her drink and wipe her mouth before turning to Sophia. Quinn had a hand over her mouth to cover her chuckles.

"What do you want to sing, Sophe?"

Sophia jumped in place. "FROZEN!" Rachel avoidedd meeting Santana's eye, because she knew the Latina was shooting daggers at her right now.

"How about we sing a fun song with your mom and tía Quinn? And then we can do a quartet instead of a duet!" Sophia looked at her mom and then at Quinn, who both nodded and smiled at her.

Sophia looked back at Rachel. "So, no Frozen?"

"Why don't we try something else? What other songs do you love, Sophe?"

Sophia frowned as she tried to think. "mmm well, mami and I sing Cranberries sometimes. I like Just My Imagination."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Of course you do…"

Rachel clapped her hands. "Excellent! So let's do that one, ok?" Rachel gave Quinn and Santana a pointed look, as Mercedes, Sam and Maribel clapped loudly. Quinn and Santana got up and walked up to the small stage set up in the middle of the backyard. Rachel worked on the sound system as the girls got ready. Suddenly, a familiar tune came blaring from the speakers and Sophia started to dance around her mom.

Santana started to sing

_There was a game we used to play_  
We would hit the town on Friday night  
And stay in bed until Sunday

Sophia jumped in to sing with her mom

_We used to be so free_  
We were living for the love we had and  
Living not for reality

All the girls sung

_It was just my imagination_  
Just my imagination  
Just my imagination...

Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand as she sang the next part while Quinn harmonized.

_There was a time I used to pray_  
I have always kept my faith in love  
It's the greatest thing from the man above  
The game I used to play  
I've always put my cards upon the table  
Let it never be said that I'd be unstable

Santana kneeled so that she was face to face with Sophia as they sang together

_It was just my imagination_  
Just my imagination  
Just my imagination...

_There is a game I like to play_  
I like to hit the town on Friday night  
And stay in bed until Sunday  
We'll always be this free  
We will be living for the love we have  
Living not for reality

_It's not my imagination_  
It's not my imagination  
It's not my imagination

The girls danced around as the song faded out and they did a little bow as Mercedes, Sam and Maribel stood up clapping and whistling. Santana hugged Sophia "That was great, mija."

Sophia planted a kiss on her mom's cheek. "You were great, too mami!" Sophia turned towards Rachel. " _Now_ can we sing Frozen?" The girls just lost it and laughed.


	2. You're Cordially Invited

 

The adults ate cake amiably while catching up. When he finished, Sam decided to join the kids in the bouncy castle. "He's just never gonna grow up…", Santana chuckled and shook her head.

Mercedes slapped her friend's knee. "Shut up, I love my big goofy husband. He makes me laugh."

"That's always good, Cedes." interjected Quinn, "humor is very important in a marriage. Did I ever tell you guys about what happened on our trip to Costa Rica?" Rachel blushed and tried to cover Quinn's mouth, but the blonde managed to get away. "Don't you  _dare_ Quinn Lucy Fabray-Berry, I will kill you!"

Quinn found shelter behind Santana and Rachel buried her face in her hands and shook her head. Quinn sat back next to her wife and continued her story, grinning. "So we get to San José, right? And Ms. I-excelled-at-Spanish-in-school decides to venture out of the hotel one day looking for this small pub where they played live jazz she heard about from one of the cleaning ladies…" Rachel gave a muffled groan and Quinn put her arm around her. "So she asks the cab driver to take us where they play live music, but she says  _bar de mujeres,_ instead of  _música_  – " Santana laughed and muttered: "Oh man, Berry, you  _didn't!_ "

Quinn put her hands up. "Wait, wait! So, the cab driver looks at us funny but takes us to this seedy part of town, right? We walk into this house and we immediately see naked girls ALL AROUND us!" The girls laughed. "Turns out a  _bar de mujeres_ in Costa Rica means Strip Club." Rachel joined in the laugh while throwing Quinn a half exasperated look.

Mercedes looked at both of them. "So, did you stay?"

Quinn shook her head as she wiped a tear. "God no, it was so tacky! We went right out and got into another cab. This time I had to do the talking and got us back to the hotel. She didn't speak another word of Spanish the rest of the trip!"

Rachel looked up. "It was  _mortifying_ ok? I came back and took some lessons so that  _never_ happens again…" She buried her head in Quinn's shoulder as the rest of them chuckled.

Santana took a sip of her drink. "Well,  _I'm_ just glad no one found you there, because even  _I_ would have a hard time spinning the whole 'Lesbian Broadway Star visits seedy Costa Rican strip club' into a good thing…" She smiled towards Rachel, who turned around to look at her and smiled back. Mercedes clapped her hands as she stood up. "Well, I think that calls for another drink! What do you girls say?" The girls cheerfully agreed and Mercedes walked over to the outdoor bar to get another bottle of wine.

It was getting dark outside and the kids were finally losing some steam. After saying good bye to the last of Sophia's friends from school, the only people left at the party were Quinn and Rachel and their boys, and Mercedes and Sam. The boys and Sophia were ensconced in a whispered discussion, while the adults were helping Santana clean up the backyard. When Sam took out the final trash bag, they all collapsed in the living room with some red wine. Sam flopped next to Mercedes and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "So glad our kids are all four legged and can be left alone at home for a few hours." Mercedes grinned and patted his thigh.

"They are still a handful, babe, so don't go counting your blessings!" Sam made a face and they all laughed good-naturedly.

Santana looked over at Quinn and Rachel cuddling on the couch, Rachel absentmindedly stroking Quinn's leg while resting her head on the blonde's shoulders. She felt that familiar pang of sadness that came over her when she saw her friends happy and in love, while she was neither.  _Well, ok, I AM happy because I have a wonderful daughter and a great career._ Still, she hated admitting to herself that she was aching to have someone to share it all with.

After a second bottle of wine, Mercedes and Sam said goodbye to everyone just as Sophia ran in and whispered something to Rachel. Santana eyed them suspiciously. Rachel whispered something back and Sophia turned towards Santana with wide eyes. Santana knew that look, it was her 'I am about to ask you for something' look.

"Sophia, no more singing, ok?" Sophia bit her lower lip and wrung her hands, causing Santana to smile at her small double.

"Mami, can Luke and Chris sleep over tonight? They said Uncle Puck showed them how to build a fort and I want to build one too for my birthday…"

Santana locked eyes with Quinn, raising an eyebrow. The blonde shrugged as if to say 'it's your call'. Santana sighed. "Fine mija, they can stay." Sophia yelled in excitement and ran out of the living room, so Santana called out to her: "Make sure you all wash your hands before moving stuff around!" She turned to her friends who had on satisfied smiles. "You both need to go fix up the twins' bedroom before you leave."

Rachel beamed and stood up. "No problem, thanks for letting them stay, they have been building forts all week long at our house!" She took Quinn's hand and both went over to the guest bedroom to put out pjs for the twins. Long ago, Santana decided to set up the guest bedroom as a second nursery for the twins, since they were constantly coming over and she wanted them to have their own space. Santana was crazy about her godsons and she spoiled them every chance she got. Sophia also had a spare bedroom at Quinn and Rachel's, and Mercedes and Sam had a room with bunk beds for all three of the kids.

Santana took the empty wine glasses to the kitchen and rinsed them before flopping back on the couch and putting her feet up on the table.

"Ok, San, all set! The boys' pjs are on their beds and we left some snacks on the fridge earlier so they can have those a little later. Quinn will come over tomorrow to pick them up in the morning, is that ok?" Rachel sat next to the Latina, who nodded.

"Yeah, that's fine, just go enjoy your night off!"

Rachel chuckled. "Oh I think we can manage just that!"

After Quinn and Rachel left, Santana went up to the family room to check on the kids. They had managed to build a fort using Sophia's pillows and her comforter, and were now deciding on what to do.

"That's a cool fort guys, good job!" Santana sat on the floor next to them, but Luke put his hands up.

"Thanks! But you're not allowed in, no grown-ups in the fort!"

Santana feigned shock. "Whaaaaaaaat?"

Chris shrugged and flashed his killer grin, green eyes sparkling. "Sorry auntie, those are the rules."

"Yes, mommy, sorry!"

Santana shook her head. "Fine, fine, I get it, so what are you going to do in your fort now? Or is that super-secret fort information?"

They all shook their heads. "We were thinking about watching a movie, but Sophia said we needed to ask for your permission first."

"And Sophia is right, Luke, you need permission to turn on the TV. Have you decided what you want to watch?" Luke made a face and pointed at Sophia with his thumb.

" _She_ wants to watch Frozen again, but Chris and I want to watch the Lego movie!" "Yaaaay, Lego Movieeeee!" Chris started chanting 'Lego Movie' over and over while Sophia glared at him.

"But I said it's my birthday so I get to watch what I want, right mommy?" Sophia looked at Santana expectantly.

"Well Sophe, that's not how it works when you have friends over and you know that… So I say you have to choose something else that all of you want to watch. Deal?" Sophia bit her lip and nodded, while Chris looked through the DVDs.

"How about Wreck it Ralph?" He turned towards his brother and Sophia, both of whom took a second before nodding and smiling. Santana took the DVD out and popped it in for the kids, who were now getting comfortable in their fort in front of the TV.

"You guys want some snacks for your movie?"

"Yes, please!" They all said in unison. Santana chuckled and brought the twins the snacks Rachel left in the fridge and cut up some apple wedges with caramel sauce for Sophia. She gave them each their snack and sat behind them in the couch pulling her laptop closer to get some work done while glancing at the movie every now and then.

She opened her email and started answering some work mails while looking over some contracts before forwarding them to Lina, her right hand. Having her own PR firm was hard work, but she loved it, and she was very good at it. Of course, handling the singing superstar Mercedes Jones and Broadway diva Rachel Berry was excellent for business. They were still her biggest clients and she tried to deal with all of their PR personally, but she had three other clients that were starting to break into the business: a young up and coming actor who just landed a big TV show, a pretty country singer who had just won a singing contest and a funny stand-up comedienne who had been offered a part in a big budget movie. Lina was her right hand and very capable, and then there was Will, a new publicist fresh out of college with a lot of drive and who idolized her. He was the one who was handling the new accounts under Lina's watchful eye. So far, Santana had to say that she was impressed by his work.

Halfway through the movie Santana noticed that the kids were very quiet, and she realized they were fast asleep. She paused the movie, set her laptop down and picked up Sophia. The little Latina stirred as she cuddled closer to her mom. Santana woke her up long enough to give her a bath and put her in fresh pjs, and as soon as her head hit the pillow, Sophia fell back to sleep. Next, Santana went back for the twins and followed the same routine, giving the boys a quick bath before setting them down in their beds. Santana decided to call it a night, too, knowing full well all three of them would be up by dawn the next day. She turned off her laptop, washed the kids' dishes and took a long bath before crawling into her own bed and going to sleep.

* * *

She woke up with a start looking at the clock. "Shit!" She muttered as she struggled to get up. The alarm clock showed 7:40 am, and Santana was worried about the eerie silence in her house. She knew enough about the three kids to know that if they were quiet, something was going on. She got up and slowly opened her bedroom door, pausing to hear some noise coming from the other bedrooms. She heard the faint humming of the TV in the family room and followed the noise. She peeked in and saw all three kids eating cereal happily in their fort watching cartoons. She sneaked back up to her room for her phone, snapped a few quick pictures of the three kids and sent them to Quinn before walking in.

"Good morning guys!" All three looked up with smiles on their faces and Sophia ran over to hug her mom.

"Good morning mom! We didn't want to wake you, so I made cereal for everyone!" Sophia took her mom's hand and led her towards the couch.

"I can see that, mija, good job! Do you want anything else for breakfast?"

"Can we have some waffles, please?" Chris said, flashing his big grin. Santana smiled back.

"Sure you can, want to help me cook?"

"Yeeeees!" All three kids stood up, Luke bouncing a little. Santana clapped her hands.

"Ok, then let's bring these bowls to the kitchen please, and everyone wash their hands before cooking!"

In the kitchen, after getting them all clean, Santana started dividing up the work. "Ok Chris, very carefully you're going to take the milk and eggs from the fridge and put them here on the table. Sophia please bring the flour, sugar and vanilla from the cupboard and Luke, you get the bowl and the mixer from down there." All three nodded and set out to do their tasks, while Santana supervised them. When everything was on the table, she got them all on the chairs and helped them measure out the ingredients and mix them in the bowl. After the mixture was done and she was heating up the waffle iron, the kids started to argue.

Luke took the bowl filled with batter and pulled it closer to him. "No,  _I'm_ going to pour, because  _I'm_ the oldest!"

Chris tried to take it back. "Nuh-uh, only for like 4 minutes! Auntie San likes  _me_  the best, so  _I'll_ pour!"

Sophia grabbed the big ladle and stood up on the chair, waving the ladle over her head. "You're  _both_ wrong,  _I'm_ pouring because this is  _my_ house!"

Santana turned around and raised her hands. "Hey, hey HEY! All of you, stop!" All three looked up at Santana and stayed quiet. She looked at each of them in turn. "Luke, just because you're the oldest doesn't mean that you can always get your way, and Chris, I don't have any favorites, I love you  _both_  the best… And Sophia… is this only  _your_  house?" Sophia lowered the ladle and bit her lip.

"No, mami…"

"So all of you need to apologize to one another right now, I don't want you treating each other like that, got it?"

All three kids mumbled "sorry" and sat straight. Santana took a deep breath and grabbed the ladle from Sophia and the bowl from the twins.

"That's better. Now you're  _all_ going to take turns pouring the batter, ok?"

After setting full plates in front of the kids who were once again talking excitedly, Santana took out her phone and called Quinn.

**Hey Q, morning!**

Morning, San. How are the boys?

**Having breakfast right now, and how was** **_your_ ** **night?**

It was… great, actually. – Quinn chuckled –

**Waaaanky…**

Santana, please, we're adults now.

**Doesn't mean you can't get wanky with the dwarf.**

_Don't call me that!_

**Yeah yeah, whatever Berry, you know it's with love…**

_We're coming over to pick up the boys in about an hour, is that ok?_

We were thinking of taking them to the zoo actually, if you and Sophia would like to come.

**Um, yeah, that sounds fun.**

_Excellent! See ya soon!_

Santana put the phone down and sipped her coffee while looking at the three kids, syrup dripping from Chris's chin. She grabbed a napkin and wiped his face, getting a full mouthed thanks from him.

"Ok, eat up and then I want to see all of you changed because…" Santana took a dramatic pause while Luke jumped up and down in his seat with excitement. "we're gonna go to the zoo!" All three kids cheered loudly, and started talking about the animals they would see, Chris reciting the different types of reptiles in the zoo while Sophia shrieked whenever he mentioned a type of snake.

An hour later, the kids were all sitting in the living room watching TV and waiting for Quinn and Rachel to show up so they could leave. Santana was finishing some work on her laptop when she heard the door open and Quinn and Rachel walked in. The boys ran over to hug their moms.

Rachel clapped her hands and held Luke's hand. "Are we all ready to go?"

"Yes!" The boys jumped up and down, and Sophia rushed to join in. "Ok, so let's get going!"

Rachel walked out with the kids and helped them to get in their booster seats in the truck while Quinn and Santana grabbed a bag with snacks and juice for later. When they were all seated in Quinn's truck, they set off towards the zoo, everyone singing Disney songs excitedly.

* * *

That afternoon, after being dropped off with a sleepy Sophia in her arms, Santana put the stack of bills from the mailbox on the counter along with her keys, then tucked Sophia in her bed and went to the family room to watch a movie. Her phone buzzed and she glanced at it and saw it was Quinn.

**Did we forget something in the car?**

_No, I didn't see anything, I was actually calling about the invitation, have you gotten it yet?_

**What invitation?**

_Ok, check your mailbox! It's a brown envelope._

Santana rolled her eyes as she stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter where she had dropped off her mail. She flipped through the envelopes and found the brown envelope with slant blue writing. She put the phone back up to her ear.

**The hell is this Fabray?**

_Just open it…_

Santana cradled the phone on her shoulder as she opened the envelope, reading the invitation fast before holding the phone up.

**Whoa, it's their 10** **th** **wedding anniversary? That's so weird.**

_I know, but it's kinda sweet, don't you think? That they want to have such a big party._

**I guess… so, I take it you both are going?**

_Of course! Aren't you?_

**I don't know Q… I mean, going back to Lima…**

_C'mon San! We'll make a trip of it, we already talked to Rachel's dads, and they're flying in and are gonna babysit for us for the weekend, you know they love Sophia, they can probably take her too._

**So we'd only stay for the weekend?**

_Yeah, I mean, I have a hearing on Monday so I can't stay longer, and you know Rachel's in rehearsals for her new show, so we were thinking of making it a three day weekend, fly in on Friday afternoon, go to the party on Saturday and come back on Sunday._

**Well, it** **_does_ ** **sound like it would be fun, so what the hell, I'm in!**

_Awesome! Now call Mercedes and see if they're going too, so we can all go together._

**I'll do that now, Q.**

_Great, and Rachel says to please remind Mercedes that it's her turn to host the potluck tomorrow! See ya!_

Santana clicked off the phone and read over the invitation once more.

_Will and Emma Shuester cordially invite you to join them in celebrating their 10_ _th_ _wedding anniversary._

Had it really been 10 years since they had gotten married? How time flew by… Santana grabbed her phone again and called Mercedes.

_What's up, girl?_

**Hey, Cedes, did you get your invitation to Shue's anniversary shindig?**

_Yeah, Sam just opened ours, we were just talking about it, it's so exciting!_

**So I'll take it you guys are going, too.**

_Well, duh! We wouldn't miss it._

**Quinn and Rachel ask if we were all going together, we can only make it a three day thing and remember you have a sit in interview with Rolling Stone that next Monday.**

_I know, I know, Miss Work, relax. A three day weekend sounds perfect! Tell you what, leave ALL the traveling arrangements to us, we'll take care of it ok? Are you guys coming with the kids?_

**Cedes, c'mon, that's so not necessary… And no, the Gayberrys are going to babysit here.**

_Do they know you call them that?_

**Yeah, it slipped once and they laughed, it's cool.**

_Only you could get away with that Satan… So it's an adult weekend, awesome!_

**We can talk about it tomorrow, since Rachel wanted me to remind you it's your turn to host the potluck.**

_I know, I know, jeez, I forgot ONCE and she won't let me off the hook… Ok, we'll talk tomorrow, bye girl!_

Santana closed her eyes as she started thinking about the upcoming trip back to Lima. She was excited to go back and see Will and Emma; it had been too long since she had been back for their traditional New Directions' Thanksgiving celebration. Last year Sophia had gotten an ear infection, so she hadn't been able to make it, but she had gotten enough updates from Mercedes, Quinn, Rachel and Sam to feel as if she'd been there. Quinn swore she had seen Puck and Kitty making out in the alley after the party, but Rachel adamantly maintained that Kitty had been inside dancing when they left. There was always a story after Thanksgiving, and because they were both tipsy, Santana didn't know which one to believe.

* * *

The next day, they were all at Mercedes and Sam's house for their weekly potluck, the kids splashing on the pool. The picnic table was filled with dishes and the air was full of the kids' laughter. The friends sat around the table, passing trays around and filling their plates with different dishes. Santana grabbed a casserole, smelled it and made a face before passing it to her left without stopping. "Ew, Berry, why do you  _insist_  on making that tofu broccoli shit, it's disgusting!" She scrunched up her nose as Rachel glared at her.

"For your information, it's very nutritious  _and_ it tastes delicious, Quinn and my boys love it." And as to prove her point, Quinn grabbed a spoon and filled half her plate with Rachel's casserole. Rachel turned to her wife and smiled proudly. "See?"

Santana smirked. "She's just doing that cause she knows she won't get any if she doesn't eat your plaster."

Quinn dropped her fork. "Santana!" While Sam choked on his beer and Mercedes laughed. Quinn picked up her fork again, wiped it with a napkin and cleared her throat. "Don't listen to her, honey, you know I love your casserole." She pecked Rachel on the lips and then focused on her food.

Mercedes put a hand up to stop Santana from replying. "Ok, so new topic! The Shuester's anniversary. I have taken care of all the travel plans, so all you need to do is come to our house by 4 on Friday and then we'll go from here!"

Sam grinned. "Yeah, it's gonna be amazing!"

Just then, Chris ran up to his mom, soaking wet. "Momma, Luke keeps splashing me in the face and I told him to stop and he didn't listen." Rachel put down her plate and turned to her son.

"Well tell him that if he doesn't stop, then he'll have to get out of the pool and stay in his room until it's time to leave." Chris nodded, gave his momma a kiss and ran back to the pool.

Rachel took a deep breath. "That should hold them over for about 10 minutes…" Quinn chuckled and looked up. "Oh hon, looks like you were wrong…" Luke came running over, miscalculated and ran full into Rachel.

"Oops, sorry momma, I was going too fast!" Rachel shook her arms and tried to dry herself with a napkin. "What did I tell you about running around, Luke?" Luke looked down.

"That I need to slow down before I fall on my face."

"That's right, sweets, so, what's up?" Luke seemed to remember his hurry and started jumping up and down and talking fast without breathing.

"Chris-said-you-said-that-I-was-going-to-get-grounded-and-I-said-he-was-lying-and-he-said-he-wasn't-but-I-haven't-done-anything-and-I-don't-think-it's-fair-if-I-get-grounded." he took a deep breath as he finished and stared at his momma.

"Ok, were you splashing him with water even though he asked you to stop?"

"Noooo…" Luke said innocently.

Rachel leaned in to be eye to eye with her son. "Lucas Jule Fabray-Berry do not lie to me." Santana raised an eyebrow at Quinn, who shook her head and put her hand on her wife's back as support. Luke bit his lip and mumbled: "I was splashing him with water even though he asked me to stop…" Rachel sat back up and pulled Luke's chin up so he was looking at her.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. Now, be nice to your brother or play time's over for you, ok?" Luke nodded and Rachel gave him a kiss before patting him on the back as he turned around. Rachel sighed and started eating again as if nothing happened. Santana let out a whistle.

"Whoa Berry, nice full naming there… Do you do that to Q over here too when she misbehaves?" Rachel looked over at Quinn, raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips before looking back at Santana.

"Sometimes."


	3. Welcome To Lima

 

Weeks had passed, and it was now Friday, 1 pm and they were leaving for Lima in 2 hours. Santana had decided to take Sophia with her and leave her at Maribel's house for the weekend. Her mom was always badgering her that she didn't get to see her granddaughter as much as she hoped, so Santana knew this was the perfect opportunity. Her suitcase was already by the door, but she was running around picking up Sophia's stuff while hollering at her daughter. "Sophia you better be down here in exactly 10 seconds with your backpack or you won't be going to Bita's house!" A muffled scream came from the top of the stairs, and Sophia's head peeked out the corner. "No mami! Give me 20 ok? I can't find Humphrey!" She rushed back to her room as Santana rolled her eyes.  _That fucking elephant…_ She put the toys back down and climbed the stairs towards her daughter's room. Sophia was face down under the bed calling Humphrey's name. "Humphrey come outtttttt we need to go or mom will go all Lima Heights on us!" Santana chuckled from the door and she watched Sophia freeze and slowly back away and look up at her, blushing slightly.

"And what exactly does go all Lima Heights  _mean_  to you, mija?" Santana walked over and sat on the floor next to her daughter, who straightened up and bit her lip.

"Um, dunno, something bad I guess? I hear you say it to tía Rachel or tía Cedes sometimes when you get mad." Santana put her arm around her daughter, who wiggled closer to her mom.

"Well,  _you_  don't have to worry about it, ok? You know I don't get mad at you that way. Your tías sometimes get on my nerves and I say that, but both you and Humphrey are safe."

Sophia nodded. "Ok mommy. Can you help me find him?"

Santana sighed and stood up. "Sure, mi amor. Do you remember where you last left him?"

Sophia frowned and bit her lip. "Ummm, I think after I woke up I took him with me to – " She gasped and brought both hands to her mouth before running out the door.

"What the hell?" Santana walked to the door and peered out. Sophia was running back up the stairs with Humphrey in her hands and a satisfied smirk on her face.

"He was in the kitchen, mom! I took him down for breakfast."

Santana smiled at her daughter. "Well, now that you found him, please put on your shoes, brush your teeth and bring Humphrey and your backpack down to the living room so we can go ok?"

Sophia ran into her room and placed her stuffed pink elephant on her bed carefully before going to the bathroom. Santana shook her head and smiled as she remembered her daughter's excitement when she first got Humphrey. It had been two Christmases ago, at the Fabray-Berry's household.

_December 26 was their joined Christmukah celebration. It was a way for all of them to get together and celebrate the holidays without taking the actual date away from their individual families. The Christmas tree glistened in the corner filled with sparkling lights, ornaments and little Menorahs Rachel insisted on hanging. There were all sorts of aromas wafting from the kitchen that made everyone sniff with excitement and curiosity. Under the tree there were mountains of presents scattered in a half circle; scattered but organized, because Rachel had insisted upon them using special wrapping paper so they'd know which presents where from whom. Santana had scoffed at the idea, but after Quinn had appeared at her house with a box filled with her designated red and black wrapping paper, she had given in. She knew her best friend was whipped and she found it endearing. Sometimes. Sometimes it was just plain annoying._

_The three kids were in a playpen to the side, playing with blocks and puzzles under the watchful eye of Leroy Berry, who just fawned over his grandchildren. Santana, Sam, Quinn, Puck and Hiram all sat around the living room drinking Hiram's famous egg nog and sharing stories of Christmases past. Mercedes and Rachel had rejected all help and were in the kitchen getting dinner ready. At 6 pm precisely, Rachel walked into the living room, an old school apron with pink stars draped around her, and clapped her hands. "Dinner is served everyone!" They all made approving noises and stood up. Santana walked over to Rachel and eyed her over. "Wow, Berry, who knew you were such a 50s housewife!" She winked to take the edge off her comment and Rachel blushed while looking over Santana's shoulder at Quinn who was just beaming with love._

_After they feasted on mashed potatoes, various salads, green beans, wild rice, a basted turkey and a tofurkey Rachel insisted was delicious but no one else really ate, they decided it was time to open the presents. The little ones were excited because even though Santa had come to their houses the day before, they knew these presents were special, too. As everyone gathered around the tree, Rachel and Quinn donned matching Santa hats and started handing out presents. Quinn picked up a small parcel and read the label: "Ok, this one says 'From your best diva, to Satan'" They all laughed as Quinn passed it on to Mercedes who handed it to Santana with a smirk._

_"You know it's true."_

_Santana rolled her eyes. "Please, as if, Wheezy." She took the present as they all smiled and watched her open it. Santana's eyes grew wider as she pulled out the picture frame from the green wrapping paper. It was a picture of the first day she had brought Sophia home. She was sitting in her couch holding the little Latina as Mercedes, Quinn and Rachel cooed over her, all with wide smiles on their faces looking adoringly at the little bundle. Santana choked back tears and looked up at Mercedes. "This – wow, Cedes. It's beautiful!"_

_Mercedes shrugged. "Sam took it without us knowing, and I knew I needed to frame it for you. Merry Christmas San." Santana wiped a tear, set the picture frame carefully down and walked up to hug Mercedes. Leroy and Hiram awwwed and cheered as the two girls hugged. Rachel clapped along before turning around and grabbing a box wrapped in pink and golden stars. "So let's continue with the Lopez girls, and this one is for Miss Sophia, from your – mmm" Rachel cleared her throat, determined to get this right. "Madrrrinas." She looked around at Santana for confirmation. Santana smirked and nodded. Rachel let out a breath. "Phew, I've been practicing on that all day!" She laughed as she handed the box to Sophia, who was eagerly looking up at her from the middle of the floor. Santana bent down and helped her daughter open the box. When she got it open, Sophia let out a squeal as she took out a big pink elephant in a top hat from the box. She hugged him tightly to her. "Mine!"_

_Santana laughed and stroked her daughter's back. "Yes, mija, that's yours! From tía Rachel and tía Quinn. What do you say?" Sophia looked up at her aunts who were both smiling at her. Her mouth broke into a wide grin. "Gracias tía Rachel, gracias tía Quinn." She stood up and wobbled over to her aunts, who hugged her tightly. Rachel placed a kiss on the Latina's cheek. "You're welcome sweetheart! Now you have to think of a name for your elephant."_

_Sophia looked down at her stuffed elephant with a serious look on her face. "Is it a boy elephant or a girl elephant?"_

_Quinn sat back and crossed her arms, amused at her goddaughter's question. "What do_ you  _think, Sophie?"_

_Sophia furrowed her brow and stuck out the tip of her tongue as she thought. Santana's heart almost exploded with love for her little mini me. "I think it's a boy elephant."_

_Luke stood up and snatched the elephant from Sophie's hands. "But it's PINK! And pink is for GIRLS!"_

_Sophia was jumping up and down, and snatched her elephant back, just as Rachel made a move to stand up and take it from him. Quinn grabbed her wife's hand and pulled her back. "Let Sophia defend herself", she whispered to Rachel, who reluctantly sat back. Sophia looked at Luke while holding her elephant tightly. "Pink can be for boys, too! Tío Sam wears a pink shirt on teevee sometimes, and he's a BOY. And Grandpa Hiram has a pink tie too, so you SHUSH!" She brought her elephant up to Luke's face. "He's a boy and he is pink, and HE LOVES IT." And with that she turned around, walked over to where her mom was covering her mouth and biting into her palm to cover her laugh and sat down in a huff, clutching her pink elephant and staring at Luke. Luke bit his lip, looked at her mom who raised her eyebrow at him, and then spoke up. "Ok Sophia, pink can be for boys, too." Then he sat back down and started twirling a building block. Sophia just "hmmmphed" which caused Santana to choke. Hiram cleared his throat trying to break the silence. He sat next to Luke and put his arm around him, before turning towards Sophia._

_"So, now that we established that it's a boy elephant, what are you going to name him, sweetheart?"_

_Sophia looked at her elephant, then at her mom and finally at Rachel. "He looks like the boy in the movie with the funny hat, tía Rachel. What was his name?"_

_Rachel looked confused. "What movie, Sophe?"_

_"The one with no colors we watched at our last girls night, the one about the house."_

_Rachel chuckled. "Ohhhh, you mean Casablanca!"_

_Santana's eyebrows shot up. "Hold up, you made my 2 year old daughter watch a 3 hour long movie about a nazi invasion, Berry?!"_

_Rachel squirmed in her seat. "Well, first off, it's NOT about a nazi invasion, it's a classical love story which so happens to take place during a nazi invasion of northern Africa. And I didn't_ make _her watch it, she saw the dvd and thought it looked fun and so we watched it. I skipped over all the violent parts, just so you know." She finished and let out a breath. Santana shook her head and took a deep breath. Before she could say anything else, Sophia spoke up. "So what was his name, tía? The boy with the hat in the picture."_

_Rachel darted between Santana and Sophia, before taking the courage to speak up. "His name was Rick, Sophia."_

_Sophia looked at her elephant and made a face. "No, that's not_ his  _name…"_

_Leroy spoke up. "The boy's name was Humphrey, sweetheart. Is that better?"_

_Sophia's face lit up as she turned towards Leroy and hugged him. "That's perfect! That's his name. This is Humphrey!" She showed everyone her elephant proudly, and they all smiled and clapped at her decision._

A hand tugged at Santana's hem, bringing her back to reality. "Mooooom, I'm ready!" She looked down and saw Sophia with her backpack on and Humphrey tucked under one arm. She exhaled and took her daughter's hand. "Ok baby, here we go!" And with that, she loaded the car with her suitcases, buckled Sophia in her booster seat and set off towards Mercedes' house.

When she got there, Sophia immediately sprinted towards the back yard and got on the swing set. Sam helped Santana take the luggage out of her trunk and set it by the front door along with their own 2 suitcases. As Sam was putting down the third and final suitcase by the door, he groaned. "God, Santana. We're only going for three days, how much stuff do you need?"

She looked at him and smirked. "I like to have options." He massaged his shoulder as he groaned again and walked towards the kitchen.

Santana took off her pumps and followed Sam to the kitchen, where he was gulping down a Gatorade as Mercedes sat on the kitchen table clicking away on her phone. Santana sat opposite her friend and put her feet up on the table. "So, we're here, where are the Fagays?" Mercedes chuckled as she slapped Santana's feet off the table.

"Quinn just texted to say Rachel's dads arrived and they were leaving soon."

Santana glanced at her watch. "But it's almost 3, won't we be late for our flight?"

Mercedes wiggled her eyebrows. "You let  _me_ worry about that, mmkay? Where's my niece?"

Santana pointed over her shoulder. "On the swings, where else?"

They laughed.

15 minutes later, Quinn and Rachel showed up, each pulling on a carry-on bag. Sophia rushed forward to hug her aunts before running back out towards the swings.

Quinn watched her go with a smile. "Still obsessed over those swings, huh?"

Mercedes nodded. "Yeah, all she wants to do is go out there and see how far she can jump off the swings."

"Yeah, she'll never break my record though," Sam winked as Mercedes rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You're such a kid, babe." She playfully pushed him.

Santana walked over, arms stretched out. "SO, now that the golden gay duo is here, are we leaving or what?"

Mercedes checked her phone. "Yeah, our transport should be here in 5 minutes."

5 minutes later, there was a buzz in the intercom, and Mercedes pushed a button to open the gates. "All right troops, we're OUTTA HERE!" They all grabbed their bags and Sam opened the door to reveal a stretch white limo waiting. Sophia gasped, Quinn muttered "Jesus…", Rachel clapped her hands "perfect!" and Santana groaned "such a diva move". Mercedes leaned forward and whispered to Santana. "And you ain't seen  _nothing_ yet!" And she bounced forward to greet the driver, who politely asked to take over their luggage and started filling the trunk as the group marched into the limo. Sophia scooted over to the very front of the seats and looked over the small mini bar that was in the corner.

"Mommy, look! There are snacks here!" Santana sat next to her daughter and pulled her close so she could buckle her seatbelt. Sophia wiggled in her seat and looked up at her mom. "Can I have a snack mom, please?" Santana sighed and shot daggers at Mercedes. "Sure honey, I'll grab you some pretzels." She stretched out towards the mini bar, grabbed a small bag of pretzels and opened it for her daughter, who started munching contentedly and swinging her legs. When the driver closed the trunk and started the car again, Mercedes popped open a bottle of champagne and started pouring out glasses. She handed a ginger ale plastic cup to Sophia, so she could toast too.

"Now that we're on our way, I wanted to make a toast. To going back home to celebrate the Shuesters, who helped us ALL to go out and chase our dreams, and to having a fine old time in Lima!" They all cheered and clinked glasses, Sophia never fully understanding what was happening, but mommy was smiling and laughing, so it must be good. She was happy she got to be with the adults and share some adult time. Luke and Chris weren't here and she missed them, but she was secretly glad that she was the only one that was allowed to share the pretty car and the fancy snacks with her mommy and her aunts and uncle.

When they arrived at JFK, the limo pulled up to a part of the airport Santana wasn't familiar with. They drove right up to a hangar and Santana hoped this wasn't what she  _thought_  it was. But then she saw it: The small white plane, the staircase leading up and a small red carpet under the staircase. She groaned again and looked at Mercedes who just shrugged and mouthed "sorry". When the limo stopped and they all got out and saw where they were, there were shocked cries and claps from Rachel. Sophia tugged at her mom's hand and shouted: "Look, mommy! Look at the pretty plane!" Mercedes walked in front of them, arms outstretched and a satisfied smile on her face. "We're flying in  _style_  today!"

Quinn shook her head. "Cedes, this is  _crazy!_ Whose plane is this?"

"I rented it. When I got Mr. Shue's invitation, something inside me felt… I don't know,  _old._ I couldn't believe they had gotten married 10 years ago, that we were in high school 10 years ago! So I thought we could glam it up a bit." Mercedes finished with a shrug.

Rachel took a step forward and clasped Mercedes' hand. "Well,  _I_ for one couldn't be happier. This is so freaking cool!" She jumped excitedly and hugged Mercedes. The limo driver was busy loading all the suitcases in the plane, so Sam hurried over to help him. Quinn took Sophia's hand and walked her along with Rachel towards the plane, talking animatedly. Santana walked over to Mercedes and turned her around, her face serious.

"You should've told me about this, Cedes."

Mercedes sighed. "Look, if I had  _told_ you, you would've told me not to do it, so I didn't say anything!"

"I've been working for  _months_ to stop these rumors about you being such a diva and spending money like crazy, and you go and rent a plane so we can fly to fucking Lima? Are you  _trying_ to kill me, Wheezy?"

Mercedes took her friend by the shoulders. "I know you better than to tell you to relax, so I'm going to ask you something." Santana looked at the diva and exhaled. "Please don't be my publicist for the next three days, can you do that? I just want to splurge on my friends, have a great time in my hometown with them, dance and sing the night away and not think about a time when we couldn't afford any of this and we spent my birthday in your dorm room eating ramen noodles and candy corn because we were too broke to go anywhere and it was freezing outside." Santana smiled at the memories and conceded.

"Okay, you win, I will try to switch off my PR brain and enjoy this trip with my  _friend_ and not my overspending and impulsive client who will be the death of me." Santana finished dramatically and Mercedes laughed as she put her arm around the Latina and guided her towards the plane. Sophia was already seated in a big plush beige sofa, her seatbelt fastened and her eyes glued to a Frozen coloring book in front of her. Rachel and Quinn were sitting next to each other holding hands and giggling furiously while whispering in each other's ears. Sam was next to Sophia coloring on a Tinkerbell coloring book, stealing glances at Sophia and making her giggle. Santana took it all in and smiled.  _My Sophia is incredible. And I love this bunch of idiots so fucking much._

She decided not to interrupt Sophia and Sam, who always colored together and had their own little world, and sat instead next to Mercedes in the front. A stewardess promptly showed up and offered everyone a drink before take-off. They ordered white wine and sipped as the plane taxied on the runway and took off. Santana finished her wine and settled back to talk to her friend.

After what seemed like only minutes, the plane was slowly descending until finally landing smoothly in Lima, Ohio. Sophia had fallen asleep from all the excitement and Santana snapped a picture of her daughter half sprawled over Sam's lap, both of them clutching green crayons and an open coloring book in her lap with a half-finished picture of Tinkerbell. She reluctantly walked over to unbuckle her daughter's seatbelt and carry her off the plane. She softly shook Sam awake too, who rushed to help with the luggage. Santana walked down the steps carefully while holding Sophia, who only cuddled closer to her mom's chest and put her arms around her mom's neck. There was another limo waiting for them when they got off the plane, and Santana only rolled her eyes before getting in and carefully laying Sophia down on one of the seats. She took her phone out of her purse and called her mom.

**Aló?**

_Ma, it's me, we just landed._

Maribel let out a gasp.

**Qué bueno, mi amor, I lit a candle for you both to make it safely… How soon can I see my Sophia?**

_Jeez mom, way to make me feel welcome, too!_

**Santana…**

_Sorry, sorry, just joking. Um, I can ask them to drop us off before going to the hotel, so we'll be there in 30 minutes or so. Is that ok?_

**Claro, mija, I'll be waiting for you. Have you eaten?**

_I have dinner plans, but Sophia had some pretzels on the plane._

She could hear her mom scoffing and laughed.

**Bah, that's not food, Santana! I'll whip up some dinner.**

It wasn't so much a question, it was more of a statement and Santana knew enough not to argue with her mother over food.

_Gracias ma, see you in a bit._

She clicked her phone and turned to give the driver directions. He nodded and set course towards the Lopez' household.

"Cedes, do you guys mind taking my luggage? I'll call a cab and meet you guys in the hotel later."

Mercedes nodded. "Sure, just don't take too long cause we have late dinner reservations at 8:30!"

Quinn looked at Mercedes and raised an eyebrow. "We do?"

"Sure thang Miss Blonde Fabray-Berry! Now I want everyone ready to leave the hotel at 8:15, no exceptions. That means  _you_ , Rachel!" Rachel gaped at Mercedes, and then at Quinn who just gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I resent that!"

"C'mon honey, we all know you take forever to get ready." Rachel looked at her wife in mock hurt, but when Quinn placed a kiss on her lips, she just shrugged and snuggled closer to her wife and muttered "whatever."

When the limo dropped Santana off, she took Sophia's hand and slung her backpack over her shoulder before walking over and opening the door to her childhood home. It smelled exactly the same as it always did, always a hint of cinnamon and rice in the air, mingled with her mom's perfume and the apple cinnamon candles she was so fond of. Sophia dropped the backpack by the door and looked around.

"Ma? Llegamos!"

Maribel walked out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel with a big smile on her face. As soon as she saw her, Sophia screamed and let go of her mom's hand to rush into Maribel's embrace.

"Bita!"

"Mi pequeña!" They embraced and Maribel peppered kisses all over her granddaughter, who giggled furiously. When she straightened up, she pulled her daughter over and hugged her tightly.

"Hola Tanita, I missed you."

"I missed you too, mom. How are you?"

Maribel let her daughter go and cupped her cheek. "Some days are better than others, mija, but today is a very good day." She smiled as she placed a kiss on each of her daughter's cheeks. Her eyes locked on Sophia's backpack by the door, and her smile disappeared. Santana followed her gaze and she bit her lip. Maribel looked from the backpack to Santana, and then raised an eyebrow. Santana didn't want to sell her daughter out, but she couldn't help her eyes darting towards the little bouncy Latina next to her.

"Sophia…" Sophia immediately stopped bouncing around.

"Si, Bita?"

"What is your backpack doing on the floor?"

Sophia looked back at her backpack and bit her lip, imitating her mom. Thankfully, Maribel wasn't looking at her, or she would have faltered. "I – I dropped it there."

"And do we put our backpacks on the floor in this house, Sophia?"

Sophia looked at her shoes and swayed from side to side. "No, Bita."

"Where do we put them?"

Sophia exhaled, dejected. "In our rooms."

Maribel nodded as Santana concentrated on the very interesting coffee table next to her. "So please take your backpack upstairs to your room, Sophia."

Sophia nodded and walked slowly. "Si, Bita."

"Thank you, mi amor."

Sophia took her backpack and very slowly walked up the stairs, stopping midway to look at her mom, who just looked at her and jerked her head up towards the second floor. Sophia sighed dramatically and continued her slow climb upstairs. Maribel winked at her daughter and guided her to the kitchen.

Santana sat down on the kitchen table and immediately snatched a grape from the fruit bowl in the middle. "Wow, ma, I think I'll leave her with you when she hits puberty…"

Maribel went back to check on her various pots and shook her head. "Oh no, Santana, that crazy ride is all yours… You know she is  _exactly_  like you, right?"

Santana sighed. "Yeah, I know,  _that's_ what I'm afraid of!" She chuckled.

"Para nada, mija, you were a handful, yes, but you were never out of control."

"Only cause I was too damn scared of you and papi bringing the wrath of God unto me!"

Maribel laughed and shook her head. "You'll see mija, you will be frustrated and want to scream, but you'll do fine. You are great with your daughter, and don't you doubt that."

Santana stood up to hug her mom from behind. "Thanks mami, means a lot to hear you say that." Maribel patted her daughter's hand as Santana rested her head on her mom's shoulders.

"I'm sure papá would be thinking the same thing if he were here." They stayed wrapped up in their own memories for a while, Maribel caressing her daughter's hands firmly clasped around her waist, and Santana resting her head on her mom's shoulders with her eyes closed.

Santana then murmured: "Do you really think he's proud of me?"

Maribel turned around and brought her hands up to her daughter's cheeks. Santana looked like a child again, her eyes pleading and waiting to hear words of encouragement from her dad who now only spoke through Maribel and through their memories. "Of course he is, mi amor. I know he didn't tell you this often, but he was very proud of you. He was beaming when you went to college and he told everyone that his daughter was in NYU and she would be the best damn anything she wanted." Santana's eyes filled with tears, trying to reconcile this image with the silent brooding image she had of her father. Maribel sensed her hesitation and continued. "Papá was not a man of many words, Tanita, but he loved you very much and you know what he always used to say about you?" Santana shook her head, not sure if she wanted to hear this or not. "Whenever we talked about you, which was very often, he would always say: 'we did good with her, Mari. Our Tanita is something else.' And then he would smile and pat my hand." Santana saw the tears pooling in her mother's eyes and couldn't hold back her own. The two women hugged and silently cried. Then, a small voice came from behind them. "Mom? Bita?" The two women tried to hide their tears as they turned to find Sophia by the door holding Humphrey.

"Hi, mija, did you put everything away in your room?"

Sophia nodded and stared at her mom. "Why are you crying mommy? Are you sad?" Santana shook her head as she went to sit and cradle her daughter in her lap. Maribel turned around, wiped her eyes, took a deep breath and sat opposite her daughter.

"No, Sophie, I'm not sad. I was crying because I was thinking about your Lito, and it made me miss him."

"Oh…" Sophia looked from her mom to her grandmother, and hugged her mom closer. "Lito used to sing to me."

Santana looked at her daughter, surprised. How did she remember? "He did?"

"Uh huh, he taught me the song about maderos." Santana wiped her tears again as the memory flooded back…

_Eduardo Lopez was a big, muscular man. His cropped dark hair was sprinkled with gray and curled a little at the bottom. He had a thick mustache and a permanent frown on his face. Except when he was playing with his granddaughter. This particular summer, Santana had flown back to Lima with Sophia to spend some time with her parents while her house was being renovated. She didn't want to stay in a hotel with a toddler, so she decided to go to her parents' house for the two months the renovation was supposed to take, and work from home. She had left Lina in charge and she trusted her implicitly. During those hot afternoons, Santana would often take walks with her abuela or go visit Finn at the tire shop or stop by Coach Sylvester's Cheerios practice. Maribel and Eduardo were happy to stay with Sophia, and they also understood Santana's need for some time alone. Every time she got back home, she could see from the large living room window her dad and her daughter on the rocking chair, laughing. She would sneak inside and sit on the stairway and listen to his dad's voice and his daughter's laughter. It made her heart overflow with love and happiness, even if just for a moment. She could see her dad cradling little Sophia, one hand behind her head and the other on her back as he rocked them back and forth, singing softly:_

_Aserrín, aserrán, los maderos de San Juan,_

_Piden pan, no les dan_

_Piden queso, menos eso_

_Piden ají, eso sí!_

_And then he would tickle little Sophia, who would dissolve in a giggling fit. And they would do this day in and day out, Eduardo had moved into private practice a few years before, so he was always home at 4 and he would immediately sweep Sophia from her playpen, turn on the sports channel and cradle his granddaughter for hours, singing and playing with her._

_He had died from a massive stroke in his sleep just two weeks after that blissful summer. Santana at least found comfort in knowing that they had been able to spend the last 2 months of his life together, with Sophia._

Maribel wiped her eyes as she moved closer to her daughter. "He used to sing that song to your mom, too."

"He did?" Sophia asked, turning to Maribel, who nodded.

"Yes, it was your mom's favorite when she was little."

Santana hugged her daughter as she remembered an almost exact scene, only this time it was her on her daddy's lap.  _Daddy… Thank you for giving that memory to Sophia._

There was a 'ding!' from the oven and Maribel snapped out of her reverie and stood up.

"Ay, Dios, la torta!" She opened the oven door and a sweet smell enveloped them. Maribel took the pineapple cake from the oven and set it next to the window to cool.

Santana sniffed and closed her eyes. "I love that cake, ma…"

Sophia nodded vigorously. "Me too, Bita!"

Maribel laughed. "I know, my girls, that's why I make it every time you come! Santana, can you stay for a bite of cake?"

Santana looked at the time and saw it was almost 7:30. "Shoot, no ma, sorry, Mercedes would kill me if I'm late for her super-secret dinner! I'm gonna call a cab." She gave her daughter a kiss and set her on a chair before walking out of the kitchen to make the call. Maribel put a piece of cake in front of her granddaughter.

"Careful Sophia, está caliente." Sophia nodded at her grandma and hesitantly took a small bite. She smiled and continued eating while dancing in her seat and humming to herself. Maribel shook her head and chuckled. "Mi Dios, you are just like your mother."

They sat in silence in the kitchen for a while, until a car honked outside. Santana peppered her daughter with kisses, telling her to be good and listen to her Bita and then she gave her mom a hug, before walking towards the front door.

"Just call me if you need anything mom, ok?"

"Relax Tanita, I can take care of my granddaughter! I'll give you a call when I'm putting her to bed so you can say good night."

"Thanks ma, I love you!"

"Love you too, mija."

* * *

And with that, Santana got in the cab and got to the hotel a little before 8. She went up to her room, changed and was down in the lobby by 8:13. Mercedes and Quinn were already there, so she walked up to them and sat down.

"Where are Sam and Rachel?"

Mercedes waved to a fan that walked by before answering: "Sam is out with Finn and Puck, something about guys' night, and we are currently betting on how much longer it's gonna take Ms. Rachel to grace us with her presence."

Santana stood up. "Oh,  _hell_ no, I rushed over here and got ready in under 15 fucking minutes, I'm sure 2 hours was enough for the troll to put on her face. I'm going to drag her ass down here."

Quinn just shook her head and cried after Santana. "Room 809!" Then she turned to a surprised Mercedes. "What? She's gonna yell at her anyway, so she might as well do it far away from me…"

Santana pushed the elevator button, crossed her arms and tapped her foot waiting for the elevator to come. She was muttering to herself, something about trolls, makeup and face masks. When the elevator  _dinged,_ She almost ran head first into Rachel, who jumped back.

"Santana! You scared me!"

"Good! About freaking time you showed, too!" She grabbed the tiny brunette by the wrist and all but dragged her towards the others, oblivious to her complaints about how she was a Broadway star and she couldn't really run in those heels.

Mercedes and Quinn stood up when they saw Santana approaching with a reluctant Rachel behind her.

"Got her in time, who wins the bet?" Rachel was huffing and smoothing her dress. Quinn walked over to her wife and stroked her arm, while listening to a litany of complaints coming out of Rachel at top speed. "No babe, she just  _pulled_ me, I had no control, what if someone saw? Worse, what if I had  _fallen down_? People know who I am, they could have taken pictures of me flat in my face!" Quinn just leaned closer to her. "I know love, but you didn't fall ok? You're fine, now let's just go to dinner and enjoy ourselves." She pecked Rachel on the cheek and turned towards Mercedes. "Are we going or what?"

Mercedes nodded and linked her arm with Santana, marching towards the front door and into the waiting car. When they settled in, Santana in the front, Mercedes clapped her hands. "Ok girls! Since we're back home and all, and we haven't been back here  _together_ in over 4 years, I thought it was appropriate to go to…  _Breadstix!_ " The other girls gasped and laughed, talking about their favorite Breadstix memories, Santana focusing only on memories that didn't include the other blonde.

When they got to Breadstix they were seated in their favorite booth, right in the middle. As they slid in, they looked around and marveled at how little it had changed.

"Wow, this place still looks exactly the same…", Santana said.

Quinn grabbed the menu from the table. "I know, but somehow it looks… smaller." The other girls agreed with Quinn's observation. They placed their order and started talking about that Homecoming 5 years ago, when Mercedes and Rachel had performed at McKinley and they had all come to Breadstix for dinner afterwards.

Mercedes chuckled. "I remember Stacy hated us because we put all these tables together to fit all the former New Directions."

Rachel covered her face with her hands. "Oh God, I remember that!  _Everyone_ came back that year, even Matt!"

Santana couldn't stop herself from saying softly: "Not everyone…"

The girls' smiles fell. Quinn reached out to stroke the Latina's leg. Brittany's presence loomed over them and they didn't know how to continue. Luckily, Stacy came by with their food and they all welcomed the distraction and started eating forkfuls of pasta, commenting on how good it was. Santana pushed her spaghetti al pesto around, hating herself for remembering that was what she ordered when she and Brittany went out with Finn on that stupid date mandated by Sue. Food didn't seem at all important, but she didn't want the others to see her like this, so she forced herself to eat and push the food down her dry throat. The girls visibly relaxed when they saw Santana eat, and they tentatively started talking again, painfully aware how pretty much every good, happy memory from high school they wanted to conjure up that involved Santana, involved Brittany, too. They were saved by a hurricane in the form of Kurt and Blaine, who waltzed into Breadstix, saw the girls and ran to join them.

"Oh my Godddd girls! It's so good to see you!" Kurt hugged each girl in turn as Blaine pulled some chairs over.

"Porcelain and bowtie! What a surprise!" Santana's voice dripped with sarcasm, but the boys chose to ignore it.

"Wellllll, we arrived early for the Shuester's anniversary extravaganza, and we decided to take a stroll down memory lane and voila!" Kurt sat down and kissed Blaine chastely on the cheek.

Mercedes rushed to talk before Santana, because she knew the Latina was about to drop a smartass comment. "That's basically what we did, too! We flew in this afternoon… How long are you guys staying?"

Blaine looked at Kurt and closed the menu before answering. "We decided to make this a vacation, so we are staying for the week!"

Stacy came back to take the boys' order and asked if there were gonna be any other "glee kids" joining them. They all laughed and assured her they weren't expecting anyone else. They ate and laughed and talked, Santana drawing back more and more into herself, into her memories. God, why hadn't she thought about this before? Coming back and being around everyone else from school was obviously always going to remind her of Brittany. She had been so caught up in flying with her friends and letting Sophia spend the weekend with her grandmother, that she'd forgotten – or was it she hadn't allowed herself – to think of… of the  _Brittany_  of it all.  _Wait. What if she comes to the party tomorrow?_  Santana felt her heart start beating faster, completely sure it was going to come out of her throat. She stood up abruptly, mumbled something about peeing and dashed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She splashed water on her face and gripped the sink with both hands, willing her heart to slow down and allow her to breathe. After a few minutes of deep breathing, she felt her heart calm down. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw the same scared seventeen year old who had watched her girlfriend drive off and out of her life.  _No. Stop it Lopez. That was ten years ago, you are NOT the same girl and you need to get your shit together._ There was no way Brittany was coming back. Right? I mean, she was touring the world right now, dancing for Nicki Minaj, or Beyoncé or someone, she didn't remember because she didn't  _want_  to remember. She had made it her mission to know as little as she possibly could about Brittany's life, because it hurt too much. The little information she had was from what Quinn or Mercedes let slip from time to time, or from that one time she overheard Rachel talking on the phone with Brittany: "Oh my Gosh, Britt, that's amazing! I can't believe you're touring with her, I  _love_  her music!" That was all she needed to hear. She had backed away and forced herself not to ask Rachel the million questions that were racing through her head. Where was she? Was she happy? Who was she touring for? Was she happy? Did she still live in Sidney?  _Was she happy?_  Because above all else – and Santana hated herself for this – she wanted Brittany to be happy. After all, that's why she had left, right? That's why she had left  _her._

There was a soft knock on the door that pulled Santana back to the present. She quickly checked her makeup and unlocked the door. The other blonde walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Hey…" Quinn was looking at Santana and scrutinizing her friend, trying to read her mood.

Santana straightened herself up. "Hey, sorry, guess I'm not used to this small town food." She tried to smile, but Quinn saw it didn't reach her eyes. She nodded slowly.

"Don't insult our friendship, San."

Santana was taken aback. "I don't –"

Quinn took a step forward and raised a hand. "You're lying to me, and I can see that, and that's you insulting our friendship, thinking I don't know what's going on. I saw you check out of the conversation after you remembered that Homecoming and how Britt wasn't here."

Santana didn't know what to say. It was true, Quinn knew her too well to be tricked. The Latina just looked at her friend and shrugged helplessly. Quinn took another step forward and embraced her friend.

"Oh, San… I thought these attacks had stopped."

Santana squeezed her friend tight, holding on to something that felt real. "Yeah, me too. Guess they didn't."

Quinn stroked the Latina's hair and held her until she felt Santana calmed down. When they parted, Santana's eyes were filled with tears, which Quinn wiped away with her thumb.

"I figured this weekend would be hard for you. But I'm here, we're all here for you. So if it gets to be too much just let me know and we'll leave, ok?"

Santana bit her lip and nodded. "What if she's there?" Her voice was barely a whisper; she didn't dare say it louder, in case the universe heard it and tried to mess with her.

Quinn exhaled softly and fixed Santana's hair. "I don't think she will be, San, but if she is, we'll deal with it when it happens." It was the best she could say. Truth was, Quinn  _wanted_ Brittany to be there, so that her friends would finally be forced to deal with whatever happened between them, since neither of them had ever spoken about it. It was the one topic Santana never discussed, and whenever she mentioned it to Brittany, Brittany just closed up and usually hung up the phone or stopped texting her for days. Eventually Quinn learned not to pry anymore, hoping that one of her friends would one day open up to her, or to anyone, for that matter.

Santana splashed more water on her face and looked at Quinn over the mirror. "I can't go back out there now, Q. I wouldn't know how to explain this."

Quinn fished her phone out of her dress pocket and clicked furiously. "Done. I told Rachel you weren't feeling well and that we were going back to the hotel."

Santana smiled a sad smile. "Thanks, Q. But I don't think I want to go back to the hotel and be in that room alone."

Quinn walked up and put her arm around her friend. "No problem, we'll just go wherever you want."

Santana nodded, took a breath and they sneaked out the back alley door. Quinn linked her arm to the Latina's and let her lead the way. They walked in silence, Santana not really sure where she was heading, but just enjoying the chilly spring air and the lazy breeze that floated by. Pretty soon, they came up to a familiar building. Quinn smiled. "This place sure looks old now, huh?"

Santana glanced over at the brick building, looking towards the right where the football field stood. She walked in that direction and she sat with Quinn on the bleachers right at the 50 yard line. If she closed her eyes, she could still hear Coach Sue's voice over the megaphone yelling that they were all sloppy babies. She chuckled and rested her head on Quinn's shoulder.

"This is where we met…" Santana's voice was just above a whisper. But this time, her tears flowed freely, and she didn't care.

Quinn felt the wetness on her shoulder, but pretended she didn't. "Tryouts. God, those were grueling. You know, I heard that a few years back some girl actually threw up all over Sue during the second hour. Man, the rest of the Cheerios froze and Sue just walked straight past the girl and went to the locker room and when she came back, she had that girl's regular clothes with her, and she actually  _wiped the puke off of her with the girl's clothes._ "

Santana gasped, then chuckled. "That is  _such_ a Sue move."

Quinn laughed. "Yeah, you gotta admire her spunk. She was and still is a hard-ass. But we were tougher for it."

"She made my life a living  _hell_. But yeah, I see what you mean."

Silence fell once again, and the girls were lost in their own thoughts. Santana kept on crying silently, and Quinn put her arm around her, and still pretended not to notice. After almost 20 minutes, Santana felt better and sat up again, wiping her eyes. "Can you believe we actually made it out of this place?"

Quinn rested back on her elbows. "I actually can… You know, we all knew Rachel was made for Broadway and Mercedes was going to be a singing superstar," She grinned, "but I had no doubt in my mind that we – you and I – would make something of ourselves, far away from here. But I always thought you'd be a singer too, so guess I was wrong on that one!" She nudged her friend, who laughed.

"Yeah, I tried, but it didn't pan out. I found my voice though, helping and bossing people around, trying to get my way… I love my job." Santana smiled and mimicked Quinn's position. "You know Q, I see Mercedes' crazy schedule and how she's always going from one place to the other, working crazy hours, and now, with Sophia, I just can't imagine doing that. I love being able to pick my daughter up from school and be there when she goes to sleep. And I know Rachel works like crazy, too, but she's mostly here, stationary, so it's not the same as going on tour all the time or promoting albums across the country. I love making that happen for them, I really do. And then I love getting to go home to my baby girl."

Quinn looked at Santana and for the first time all night, she saw her light up. She always did that when she talked about Sophia, and it made her happy to see her friend hadn't settled – as she had feared – but was just chasing after a different dream.


	4. Flashbacks Are A Bitch

_Hi everyone! Thanks for all the wonderful messages and love for this story... Next chapter is the Shuester's anniversary, so stay tuned for that! Do you think Brittany will show up?_

* * *

Santana woke up the next morning feeling better. Her walk with Quinn had helped clear her mind, and she was less anxious about the upcoming party. After sitting on the bleachers, the girls wandered around town, stopping for ice cream as they used to do in high school, and then headed back to the hotel, where Quinn stayed with her in the room watching movies until Santana fell asleep. That morning while she was deciding what to order from room service, there was a small knock on the door. When Santana went to answer it, she saw that it was Mercedes. She grinned as she opened the door. Mercedes embraced her and walked in.

"Hey, heard you weren't feeling well last night, so I wanted to check up on you." Mercedes sat down on the edge of Santana's bed, and the Latina went to sit next to her.

"Um, yeah, sorry I bailed like that, hope the Warbler didn't bore you to death"

Mercedes smiled and playfully nudged Santana. "Nah, c'mon, those guys are fun to be around... at least for a little while..." She looked up at Santana with a concerned look. "So what happened last night? And don't tell me it was the food, cause I've seen you eat from shady food trucks at 1 am in the Bronx."

Santana took a deep breath. "I had a minor panic attack thinking about Brittany, again. But Quinn calmed me down, we walked for a while and then just came back here. I'm better this morning, it was just a little unexpected."

Mercedes stayed quiet for a minute, patting Santana's knee. "It's natural to have this now, San, especially when we're all back here together. I'm sure Quinn told you this, too, but if it ever gets to be too much tonight, you let us know and we're gone, all right? We can take that private jet all the way to Vegas if you feel like it."

Santana grinned. "I'm never going back to Vegas with you crazy girls, we almost got arrested last time!"

Mercedes lifted a finger. "Hey, that creep was manhandling Rachel, we needed to defend her!"

Santana laughed. "He was patting her down because the metal detector went off! Honestly, I don't know how I got us out of that mess... A security guy with a black eye and bruised balls could've been the end of us." Mercedes joined in and they laughed at the mental image of the security guy doubled down, Quinn and Mercedes hitting him with their stilettos, Rachel giving them directions on where to hit, and Santana yelling drunkenly in Spanish as she looked in her purse for her pepper spray. Luckily, the hotel cut a deal with the girls that they would pay a fine and Mercedes and Rachel would play a concert in their concert hall for free.

Mercedes stood up and held her hand out for Santana. "Now, let's go get some breakfast, everyone else is already downstairs, and then we can talk about what we're gonna sing tonight at the party!"

Santana took her hand and they went downstairs for breakfast. Quinn, Rachel and Sam were already seated, Sam had a huge plate of eggs, bacon, toast and pancakes in front of him and he was munching contentedly. Santana made a face at him. "Please, Sam, just because it's a complimentary buffet, doesn't mean that you have to eat it all."

Sam looked at her and purposefully ate another forkful of eggs. Santana rolled her eyes and turned towards Quinn.

"Hey, um, thanks for last night, Q. I needed that to calm down."

The blonde smiled. "No need, Santana. You know I'll help you anytime."

After they had gotten their plates, Rachel spoke up. "So, I don't know how the whole entertainment portion of the party is planned, but I have been given to understand by Mr. Shue that he wants us all glee kids to perform. Now he didn't mention any specifics, but I'm thinking we could do a group number maybe include Puck and Finn so Sam isn't the only guy? Or we could do all girls and the boys can do another one, or we could do duets and a trio, or -"

Santana put up a hand. "Hold up, midget, you're making me dizzy and I  _will_ barf all of this delicious bacon on you."

Rachel made a face and inched closer to Mercedes. Santana smiled. "Good. Now, I think we should do all girls and Trouty can pair up with the other guys, because I am  _not_ preparing a routine in one day with Finn I-can't-dance-to-save-a-child-from-a-burning-building Hudson. Nuh uh."

The girls shook their heads and Sam nodded absently. "Maybe us guys should do something on stools."

"Good idea, baby, I think that would be your safest bet! And yes, I agree with Santana. I think a little girl power is always a good idea." Quinn and Rachel nodded in agreement and they started deciding what to sing, while Sam texted Puck and Finn to set something up.

Rachel: "I think we should do Br-"

Santana: "I'm  _not_ doing Broadway, unibrow, can it."

Mercedes: "How about some Destiny's Child? Let's go old school!"

Santana: "I can work with that."

Rachel: "I still think we need something more like a power ballad."

Santana: "No way, it's a party! We need to bring the house down with something upbeat."

Mercedes: "I agree, something retro, for sure."

Quinn: "As long as it's not disco, I'm game."

Santana: "And it has to be sexy, too. We need to show everyone that we're still hot and we can rock it."

Santana and Mercedes high fived as they continued their conversation.

After they finished eating, they had agreed on a song and set out to Rachel's childhood home to practice in the basement. Since her parents were in New York taking care of the twins, they had the place to themselves.

Two hours later, they had the choreography almost down and decided to reward themselves with a break, despite Rachel's insistence that they needed to get it perfect.

Mercedes and Rachel made some smoothies while the girls lounged around the living room. They worked on their choreography an extra hour, then they wanted to go back to the hotel, but Santana decided to go see Sophia, instead. She picked up her phone and called her mom.

**Hola ma**

_Mija, good morning! How was your dinner?_

**It was good, we went to Breadstix and had a good time. How did Sophia sleep?**

_Like the little angel she is. We are drawing right now, she's making a beautiful picture of Humphrey._

**Ha! Yeah, I have like a million Humphrey drawings all over my house... Ma, did you have any plans for lunch?**

_Yes, I planned to make empanadas for us and Abuela, who should be here any minute._

**Mmmm I looooove your empanadas! Can I come over, too?**

_Ay Tanita, que pregunta! Of course you can, you're always welcome here!_

**Awesome ma, I'm on my way then.** **Nos vemos!**

_Con cuidado, mi amor._ _See you when I see you._

Santana put her phone down with a smile on her face. She hadn't seen her Abuela in a long time, because Alma didn't like to fly and refused to sit in a bus for 16 hours to visit New York, so Santana only got to see her when she came to visit every 5 or 6 months. Their relationship had thawed when she'd been pregnant with Sophia, but her Abuela hadn't come around until Eduardo died. That's when Alma realized she didn't want to think about leaving this world and having Santana beat herself up over not having worked things out between them. Alma still didn't fully agree with her granddaughter's life and how she lived it, but she wanted to be a part of it, at least.

Santana still counted the day her Abuela kicked her out of her house as one of the worst days of her life. Ironically, it had also been one of the best because of what had happened once she left her Abuela's house.

This time, the memory of that day came to her without that heart wrenching feeling in her gut. She welcomed it.

* * *

_Senior Year_

Santana parks in the driveway and turns off the car. She takes a deep breath and wipes her tears before getting out. She's wringing her wrists as she walks up to the white door and rings the bell. Soon enough, a woman answers the door and Santana's heart drops.

"Hi, Mama P." She says in a whisper, "is Brittany home?" Whitney Pierce opens the door wider and takes a step towards Santana, her voice full of concern.

"No, sweetie, first Saturday of the month is always Dad Day, so he took the girls out and they won't come back until late." Santana fights back the tears that started to swell in her eyes. She nods,

"right, I forgot it was… Sorry to bother you Mama P." She starts to turn to go back to her car, but before she can move, Whitney reaches out and takes her hand.

"Is everything OK, honey?" Santana just shakes her head, and she can't stop the tears this time. She starts sobbing and Whitney immediately moves closer and embraces the crying Latina. Santana crumbles into her arms and lets the tears flow. Whitney just holds her, caressing her hair and making hushing noises, like she does with her daughters.

"Shhhh, it's okay Santana, honey, let it out."

They stay that way for some time, until Santana has finally calmed herself down enough for Whitney to lead her inside and into the living room. She immediately gives Santana a tissue and sits close to her, one arm over Santana's shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Mama P, I didn't mean–" Whitney interrupts her and holds her tight

"nonsense, Santana, no need to apologize…" She wipes Santana's tears with her thumb and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

"Now, I was just about to make some popcorn and watch a movie. How about you watch it with me and wait until Brittany comes back?" Whitney is relieved when she sees a small smile appear on Santana's lips. She nods and says "okay", and Whitney does a small happy jump as she stands up.

"Super! I'm gonna go make the popcorn and you can choose the movie, deal?"

"Deal… is it okay if I use the bathroom first, Mama P?" Whitney is already halfway to the kitchen, so she just shouts back "of course!". Santana goes into the Pierce's guest bathroom and splashes some water on her face. When she returns to the living room, she sees Whitney bringing a large pitcher of pink lemonade and she can smell the popcorn coming from the kitchen. Whitney smiles broadly when she sees Santana return, noting that the Latina is now a lot calmer.

"Pick a movie yet, sweetie?" Santana shakes her head as she walks over to the large DVD selection.

"Not yet, Mama P. What were you originally gonna watch?" Whitney straightens her apron and looks sheepishly at Santana. It's a look Santana knows well.  _Like mother like daughter, I suppose…_ She can't help but chuckle.

"Well now, don't go laughing at me all right?" Whitney walks over to the DVD player and holds up a case. "It's my favorite movie…" Santana's grin expands.

"I love Ghostbusters, too Mama P! I think it's the perfect choice."

"Great! Get it started while I bring the popcorn." Whitney does her excited jump again and runs back to the kitchen. Santana pops in the movie and moves back to the couch, where she notices Brittany's favorite blanket on the edge of the couch where she was sitting when she came in.  _Mama P must've brought it while I was in the bathroom. Such a sneaky family…_ Santana ghosts her hand over the blanket, practically feeling Brittany's presence in the room with her and it makes her feel a million times better. When Whitney returns, she has a big bowl of popcorn and two smaller ones with gummy worms and jelly beans.

"For the sweet tooth I know you share with my daughter…" she smiles as she puts both small bowls on the coffee table in front of Santana and puts the big bowl on the couch between them.

When the movie starts, Whitney makes Santana sing the theme song with her and Santana laughs when she hears Whitney saying the dialogue along with the movie, remembering how Brittany does the same when they watch "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Halfway through the movie, Whitney notices Santana's eyes closing, so she puts the popcorn on the coffee table and opens her arms to make Santana move closer. Santana, half asleep, immediately lies down with her head on Whitney's lap. Whitney covers her with Brittany's blanket and starts stroking her hair. Santana snuggles under the blanket and breathes in Brittany's scent and falls into a deeper slumber. As a smile crosses her lips, she whispers "I love you, Britt." Whitney wipes a silent tear off her own face and leans in toward Santana. "She loves you too, Sanny." She kisses the Latina softly on the head and continues stroking her hair while she finishes watching the movie.

After the movie is over, Santana is in a deep sleep. Whitney figures she's had a tough day, so she lets her sleep. She turns the movie off and settles in watching TV. It's almost 10, so Pierce and the girls should be home soon, and then she can get Brittany to take Santana up to her room to rest. After a while, she sees the car's headlights turn up the driveway, so she turns off the TV. When her husband and daughters walk in, they are chatting up a storm and laughing, as they always do.

"Hi honey!" Pierce is beaming as he sees his wife on the couch; he thought she'd be in bed by now. Her daughters echo Pierce and say hi to their mom.

"Hi you three! Abby, brush your teeth before bed ok? And Brittany, can you come over here a sec, really quietly?" Abby nods, blows her mom a kiss and runs upstairs. Brittany walks over to her mom, and looks confused when she sees the strange image in front of her: Her mom with a half-eaten bowl of popcorn in front of her, and Santana's head on her lap, firmly sleeping under Brittany's blanket.

"Mom? What? What is Santana doing here? Are those my gummy worms?" Brittany kneels in front of her mom, who chuckles.

"She was very upset and came looking for you, we were waiting here watching a movie and she fell asleep. Can you take her upstairs, honey?" Brittany nods, as she looks at Santana.

"What happened, mom?" Her voice is full of concern. Whitney sighs.

"I don't know, I didn't ask because she didn't come here looking to talk to me, now did she? Now, be careful not to wake her, please. I will put your gummy worms in a safe place, I promise." Brittany smiles at her mom.

"Thanks, mom.". Whitney squeezes her daughter's hand.

"Anytime, honey." Brittany stands up and leans over Santana, lifting her effortlessly. The Latina just puts her arms around Brittany's neck and keeps on sleeping. Brittany slowly and carefully climbs the stairs and goes into her bedroom, where she gingerly lays Santana on the bed. The Latina stirs, but doesn't wake up. Brittany unbuttons Santana's jeans and takes them off, knowing how much she hates to sleep in jeans. She covers Santana with the blanket again as she gets ready for bed, too. When she finally gets into bed, Santana scoots towards her and settles into the nook of her arm, hugging Brittany with one arm. Brittany holds the sleeping Latina and strokes her back. She watches her sleep for a while, concerned for what happened to her today. Brittany knows Santana was supposed to be at her abuela's for the week, so she doesn't know what happened that made her show up at her doorstep unannounced. She hadn't even texted Brittany to let her know she was coming. Brittany fears this has something to do with Santana's sexuality, but how bad had it been? After almost an hour of wondering and dreading the morning, Brittany finally decides it's time to try and sleep. Santana needs her well rested in the morning. She lifts Santana's hand up to her lips and kisses it before closing her eyes.

* * *

Brittany immediately wakes up as she feels Santana stirring. One glance at her alarm clock lets her know it's not even 8 am. She starts to stroke the Latina's back, waiting for her to fully wake up. It takes Santana a moment to register where she is and why. The familiar scent and caress immediately relax her and bring a smile to her face. She looks up to find those beautiful blue eyes looking back at her, a mixture of adoration and concern.

"Morning" she rasps. Brittany smiles.

"Good morning, you." Santana's eyes start to fill with tears as the events of the day before start to wash up over her. She bites her lip and buries her head on Brittany's chest, holding tight to the blonde and crying in earnest. Brittany holds her and fights back her own tears. She can't stand to see Santana hurting like this. Santana cries until her eyes and throat hurt, clinging to Brittany with all her might, confirming that it's real, that she's there holding her. When Santana feels she can complete a sentence again, she takes a gulp of air and, pressing her head against Brittany's chest, starts to tell Brittany what happened.

"I told abuela about me. That I'm… gay and she – she threw me out." The last part of the sentence is simply a whisper and Santana starts to cry again. Brittany exhales and closes her eyes tightly, feeling her heart break with sadness.

"and now I don't know what to do, Britt. I knew she would have a hard time with it but – I never – that she would just – I'm her granddaughter! She always tells me that family comes first, so why – I don't know what to do…" Santana holds Brittany even tighter, as the blonde returns the hug and makes hushing noises.

"I can't tell you why, Santana. I don't think anyone can, except your abuela. But she just needs space and time to process this." Brittany showers Santana's head with kisses. "You're  _so_ loved, Sanny, you are. It'll be ok." Santana just lets Brittany's love wash over her and calm her down. "Abuela will come around; this is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, Santana, you need to know that." Santana nods.

"I know, Britt. It just hurts, that's all." Santana finally looks up and locks eyes with Brittany. Her blue eyes are bloodshot but full of warmth. Brittany offers a small smile, and Santana returns it. "I was so distracted last night I forgot about Dad Day."

"You should've texted me, Santana! I would've come back earlier…" Santana settles back next to Brittany and cuddles closer.

"I didn't think about it, to be honest. I was just focused on coming here and seeing you." Brittany puts her hand under Santana's chin and lifts her head.

"I'm here now, and that's all that matters." She leans over and kisses Santana's lips softly. Santana feels that familiar jolt of electricity that always accompanies Brittany's kisses and kisses her back. The blonde caresses Santana's cheek as she tries to put all her love in that kiss, all the things her heart is feeling but her words can't say. When they pull away, Brittany is still stroking Santana's cheek with her thumb. Santana looks into her eyes and takes a breath.

"I love you, Britt."

Brittany's eyes fill with tears. "I love you, too." Santana smiles and gives the blonde a chaste kiss before wiping away the stray tear falling off Brittany's cheek.

"No more tears today, deal?" Santana sticks out her pinky. Brittany chuckles and links their pinkies. "Deal." They smile at each other and Brittany straightens up. "Ok, I gotta go to the bathroom now." Santana sits on the edge of the bed as Brittany gets up.

"Wait!"

Brittany stops a few steps away from Santana and turns around. "What's wrong?"

Santana looks confusedly up at Brittany. "When did I take my pants off?"

Brittany blushes slightly. "Oh, well, you didn't. I took them off when I put you in bed."

Santana smirks. "Wanky…" Brittany's face grows even redder. Seeing this, Santana lets out a low chuckle.

"It's not like that! I just know you hate sleeping in jeans so I wanted you to feel more comfortable!" Santana lifts one eyebrow and stares at Brittany as she slowly stands up.

"So… you didn't like taking off my jeans?"

Brittany backs up as she sees Santana walk towards her. She slams against the wall and feels disarmed by Santana's look. The Latina saunters over until she is only inches from Brittany. "I – I – obviously like you without jeans but – I" Santana places one hand on Brittany's hip, steadying her. She moves her head closer to Brittany's and puts her lips right up to the blonde's ear. "I love making you nervous." The air against her ear makes Brittany's whole body shudder. Santana moves down and places a kiss on Brittany's neck, before moving back to her ear. "Now go pee." And with that, she turns around and sits back on the bed, crossing her legs, a satisfied smile on her face. Brittany shakes her head and lets out a sigh.

"Such a tease…", she winks at Santana as she walks out of the room.

When Brittany gets back, Santana already has on a pair of sweatpants and is lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. She turns when the blonde walks in, immediately smiling. Brittany sits on the bed facing Santana. "Do you wanna go get some breakfast? Or do you want to stay here?"

Santana ponders her answer for a minute. "No," she sighs, "let's go downstairs. If I stay here, I'll just go crazy thinking about last night, and I can't do that right now." Brittany reaches out a hand to help Santana get up, and the girls walk down to the kitchen, where they find Abby pouring a glass of milk.

"Mornin' Abby!", says Santana as she walks to the small girl and gives her a hug. Abby immediately turns around and hugs Santana, too.

"Good morning, Santana! Do you want some milk? I'm really good at pouring…" She smiles proudly, and Santana chuckles.  _This family…_

"I would love to, Abby, thanks!" Santana reaches over Abby and grabs two more glasses. "Do you think you could pour one for your sister, too?" Abby nods excitedly and slowly pours milk. Santana then helps her take them to the kitchen table where Brittany is already sitting.

"Thanks, Abby!", the girls say together.

"You're welcomeeeeeeeeee", sing-songs Abby, and the three girls laugh. Suddenly, Whitney's voice comes from upstairs.

"Abby?"

"In the kitchen, mom!"

"Honey, please go finish packing your bag and bring it downstairs so it's all ready to go for tomorrow! We don't want to be late!" Abby makes a face, gulps her milk and goes running out of the kitchen.

"Ok, mom!"

Santana looks up at Brittany, a startled look on her face. "Britt? Where are you going tomorrow?" Brittany's smile falls. "To the lake house, San, it's our annual family trip, I told you about it a while ago…" Santana's eyes fill with tears. "but I'll talk to my mom and tell her I can't go. I'll stay with you."

Santana shakes her head. "No, Britt, you don't have to do that."

"I know. You always tell me that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. And I  _want_ to stay with you, Santana."

Santana smiles and puts her head on the blonde's shoulder. "Thank you, Britt. I don't think I can be alone right now."

Brittany kisses Santana on the forehead. "You won't be."

Whitney then walks in the kitchen, where she sees the girls quietly drinking milk.

"Good morning, girls! You're up early…"

"Good morning, mom." Brittany smiles at her mom.

"Morning, Mama P." Santana can't make eye contact with Whitney, but she still smiles.

Whitney walks over and gives each girl a kiss on the forehead before walking over to the fridge to take some things out.

"I was just thinking about pancakes for breakfast, what do you think?" Brittany claps her hands, excited at the thought. Whitney grins. "Just what I thought! Santana, did you call your mom and tell her you're here? I don't want her to worry…"

Santana finishes her glass of milk before answering: "Um, not yet, Mama P. But they're in Buffalo, my dad has a conference."

"Well, still, I think it's important they know where you are…"

Santana bites her lip and nods. They exchange nervous glances as Whitney starts flipping pancakes and putting them in a big plate that she sets in front of the girls.

"Eat up, girls, I'll make some more later for Pierce and Abby." Whitney grabs her cup of coffee and joins the girls at the table, where Brittany already piled four pancakes on her plate. They eat in silence for a bit, Santana realizing she hasn't eaten since lunch the day before.

When the girls are done, Whitney stands up and starts clearing the table.

Brittany then clears her throat. "Mom, I need to tell you something…" Brittany's voice is just a whisper, and Santana holds her hand under the table. But Whitney doesn't hear her.

"So, Santana, I was talking to Pierce last night, and we think it's best if you go pack your things now, while it's early." Santana looks up confused. She looks at Brittany, whose brow is furrowed, and back at Whitney, who is busy washing the dishes and doesn't turn to look at Santana.

"Um – yeah, I – ", Santana's eyes start to fill with tears. She can't believe she's getting kicked out again this weekend.

"Why does she have to go at all?" Brittany's face is turning red, and Santana just puts her hand on the blonde's thigh and whispers "don't."

Whitney finally looks back at the girls, confused.

"Well, I thought it was clear… She needs to pack for the trip, or did you bring clothes, dear?" Santana shakes her head and tries to make sense of what Whitney is saying, but can't. Brittany just looks at her mom with a blank look on her face. Whitney puts down the coffee cup she was rinsing. "You're going to need more clothes for the week, sweetie. At least a bathing suit if you want to get in the lake!"

"The lake? But…" Santana is looking from Whitney to Brittany, not making sense of what's happening.

Whitney comes back to sit in front of the girls, finally realizing that they have no idea what she's talking about. "Honey, you said your parents are gone for the week, right? Now, we're going on a family trip to the lake and you can't stay here alone, so we're hoping you want to come to the lake with us." Whitney smiles broadly and reaches over to hold Santana's hand. Santana is still processing this information, and she looks at Brittany, who is now smiling as broadly as her mom. They lock eyes and Brittany nods.

"But it's your family trip, Mama P, I don't want to get in the way."

"Sweetie, you're never in the way…" Santana is choking up, overwhelmed by this sweet, caring family. It's bittersweet to think that her own blood rejected her just a day before and here the Pierce's welcome her with open arms.

"I would love to, Mama P." Brittany then hugs Santana, as Whitney comes up behind the girls and hugs them.

"Now, why don't you girls go to your house, Santana, and you can pack everything you need? We leave at 7 tomorrow, so you best come back here tonight so we all can drive out on time." The girls nod, smiling and go on their way.

* * *

"I don't know what I'm gonna say, Britt."

"Well, you have to tell her something. She thinks you're at your abuela's and that everything is fine."

Santana is tossing her phone from one hand to the other, sitting cross-legged on her bed, while Brittany sits opposite her. There's a half-full suitcase on the floor. Finally, Santana takes a deep breath and dials her mom's number.

**Hola, mija.**

_Hola, mami, how's Buffalo?_

**It's ok, papá is finishing his speech for the conference tomorrow, so I'm just watching TV. How is abuela?**

_Um, well, actually, ma, I'm not at abuela's._

Santana starts to nervously twist the bedspread. Brittany immediately moves next to her and holds the Latina's hand in both of hers.

**Why not? Santana Marie Lopez, dónde estás?**

Maribel's voice is full of concern and anger.

_Mami, cálmate. Relax, I'm at Brittany's. I – um – abuela kicked me out last night._

Santana can hear Maribel letting out a sigh on the other end.

**Ay, mija. What happened?**

_I came out to her, and she – she said she didn't want to see me again._

Brittany starts wiping Santana's tears, as the Latina takes steadying breaths.

**Lo siento mucho, Tanita. You know how stubborn she can get sometimes. I'm taking the next flight home, ok?**

_No, ma, it's ok. I was actually calling because Mama P invited me to go with them to the lake for the_   _week, and I was wondering if I could go._

**Of course, mijita. Go, clear your head. Make sure you behave, ok?**

Santana chuckles.

_Yes, ma. No te preocupes._

**Ok, mija, have fun and check in from time to time.**

_I will, ma. Thank you._

**I love you, Tanita. Don't forget that, ok?**

_Ok, ma. I love you, too._

Santana clicks off the phone and takes a deep breath. She leans on Brittany's shoulder as the blonde starts caressing her thigh. "Feeling better now?"

Santana nods. "Yeah, a little. I guess it's gonna take a while."

Brittany squeezes her shoulders. "Just take it slow, ok? We're gonna go have fun at the lake this week and just swim and eat s'mores and stuff."

"First we need to finish packing…" Santana looks around at the clothes strung all around her room, pats Brittany on the thigh and stands up, pulling more clothes from her closet and throwing them on the bed, where Brittany starts sorting them.

"Ok, no, San, you DON'T need all these black shirts." She tosses clothes off the bed. "And no heels, definitely!" Brittany laughs as Santana takes out two pairs of high heels. "Just flip flops and sneakers, San, we're not going to any fancy parties."

Santana makes a face as she shows Brittany her thigh high boots. "So these are out of the question?" Brittany falls back laughing. "Definitely, San. Maybe for another time…"

Santana smirks and lifts an eyebrow. "How about now?"

Brittany stops laughing and looks at Santana. "You want to put them on now?"

Santana nods as she moves closer to Brittany. "Uh huh…" Brittany moves to the edge of the bed and reaches out to pull Santana on her lap. She starts caressing the Latina's back and kissing her neck softly.

"How can I say no to that?" Brittany finds Santana's lips and sucks on them gently, feeling her pulse quicken. Santana tosses the boots aside and puts her arms around Brittany's neck, deepening the kiss. Santana's tongue glides over Brittany's lips, begging for entry. The blonde happily obliges and parts her lips, so Santana can immediately start exploring it with her tongue. Brittany holds on to Santana's hips and starts tracing the seam of her jeans, until she gets to the front. She unbuttons the jeans and starts moving her thumb down the Latina's jeans. Santana pulls herself up on her knees to give Brittany more room to explore, their lips never parting. Brittany then swiftly grabs Santana's thigh and flips her over. Santana smiles as Brittany starts kissing down her neck, her hands exploring down the Latina's shirt. Santana takes her shirt off and helps Brittany take off hers. Brittany lies on top of Santana, kissing her full on the lips as she pulls down the Latina's jeans. She rubs her thumb over Santana's panties and smiles.

"You're so wet, baby."

"That's how you get me, B. Don't stop." Brittany then slides Santana's underwear off and takes off her own. She ghosts over Santana's mouth, her whole body just inches above Santana's. The Latina scratches down her back and wants to pull her down, but Brittany is stronger.

"C'mon, B, I want you."

"Tell me how much you want me, babe." Brittany starts to inch closer, placing her core right above Santana's, making the Latina shudder and pull her hips up so they can touch. Santana then grabs her own left hand and moves it down to her core. She slides her index finger it all over her clit, then puts it up to the blonde's mouth. "That much, baby, that's how wet you make me right now."

Brittany sucks on Santana's finger and her breathing gets uneven. "God, I love how you taste." Brittany then lowers herself and kisses Santana, allowing the Latina to taste herself. She slowly moves her core over Santana's reveling at her wetness. The Latina moans into Brittany's mouth, making her move faster.

"Yes, babe, right there. Faster, Britt." The blonde grabs Santana's hips and forces them up, so their cores are touching, which sends them into ecstasy. "Shit, Britt, you feel so good." They sway their hips and grind faster and faster, feeling their bodies tense up. "Come for me, San."

Santana scratches her nails down Brittany's back, making the blonde moan even louder. "Not without you, B. Shit, I'm close." They move faster, electricity coursing through their bodies. Santana feels Brittany shiver, knowing the blonde is close. She then angles her hips so their cores are completely in sync. "FUCK! Yes, Britt, just like that. Oh, oooooooh" Santana feels her body explode, but she keeps on moving, waiting…

"shhhhhh – shhhit San – ahhhh" Brittany shivers as her body tingles. She rides out the rest of their orgasm, and then lies on top of Santana, both of them covered in sweat and panting.

Santana grabs Brittany's hand and squeezes it, as she feels the final wave of her orgasm go through her.

Brittany rolls over and opens her arm so Santana cuddles close and puts her head on the blonde's chest, one leg and arm over her. Brittany slowly moves her thumb up and down Santana's back. "It's been a while since we could be that loud…"

Santana chuckles. "Yeah, well, our parents hardly ever go away… Hey, how big is that lake house?" Santana wiggles her eyebrows and Brittany laughs. "It's not that big, but we can definitely find some hiding spots." Brittany leans down and kisses Santana. Santana feels Brittany try to deepen the kiss and breaks it instead. "Um, we should now definitely finish packing…" Brittany shakes her head and kisses Santana again. She then pulls the Latina on her back again and straddles her. "In a minute, babe." Brittany starts kissing down Santana's neck, then her collarbone, as Santana moans in pleasure, despite herself. Brittany's tongue draws circles on Santana's breasts and she nibbles on her nipples, feeling the Latina quiver. Brittany continues to kiss down Santana's abdomen, and down to her pelvis. She parts Santana's legs as her tongue playfully moves down Santana's body. She starts to lick her folds slowly, feeling Santana's body arch. Brittany palms one of Santana's breasts with one hand and presses down on her lower pelvis with the other, while burying her head between the Latina's legs. Her tongue starts darting over Santana's clit as Santana moans.

"F-f-faster Britt, right there." Brittany obliges, exhaling warm air onto Santana's core, making her scream in pleasure. Brittany starts making small circles with her tongue on Santana's clit, as she feels the Latina tense up. She picks up the pace and as Santana orgasms, she licks her dry. "Brittttttttttt". The blonde pulls back, a satisfied smirk on her face, and lies flush over Santana, kissing her intently. Santana tastes herself on Brittany's lips as she continues to feel her clit spasm with pleasure.

"God, you're amazing, San. You taste so good." They kiss and explore each other's mouths with leisure. Brittany then breaks the kiss and rolls over again. "We can finish packing now." They laugh.

* * *

_Present Day_

Still lost in her memories, Santana was shocked to see her feet had taken control and she was now standing in front of her mother's house. She wiped the stray tear that was just escaping her eye and shook her head a little to try and block that trip to the lake. It had been a great week of healing for her, healing from the hurting words her grandmother had uttered and being enveloped by the Pierce's love, especially Brittany's. She had never hated her Abuela. She just felt sad about her rejection and had decided to focus on the love she had around her.

Now, her Abuela was back in her life and loved to spoil Sophia, which was exactly what Santana had always wanted.

She knocked on the door and heard hurried small footsteps approaching. When the door creaked open and Sophia saw her mom, she yelled excitedly and rushed to her mom's embrace. "Mamiiiiiiiiii!" Santana crouched low to envelop her daughter in her arms. "Mi preciosa! I missed you so much!" She started peppering kisses all over Sophia's face while the little Latina giggled furiously and squirmed in her mother's embrace. "Mooooom stopppppppp! Bita is making empanadas and I'm helping!" Sophia showed off her apron proudly and did a little twirl for Santana. She laughed and clapped her hands. "That's great mija! Let's go help Bita ok?" Sophia nodded and ran as fast as she could to the kitchen to settle in her booth. Santana closed the door behind her and walked to the kitchen, where she kissed her mom on the cheek before settling down on a chair and watching her mom and daughter cook.

Sophia was measuring the filling carefully for Maribel, her little tongue peeking out of her mouth. Maribel had the dough laid out in front of her, a spoon in her hand. "Ok Sophia, now we fill these in the middle. Like this. And then we fold it close, ves?" Maribel's expert hands folded an empanada and she handed it over to Sophia, who grabbed a fork and looked at her grandma hesitantly. "now you press the edges very carefully so that when we fry them, they don't crack." Sophia nodded seriously and started with her fork, Maribel hovering a hand above Sophia's. After repeating this process a few times, Maribel set Sophia down and turned to fry the empanadas. Sophia ran over to her mom, sat on her lap and started talking excitedly about her morning. A little while later, they heard the doorbell ring and Maribel turned around. "Tanita, can you get that, please?" Santana nodded and set Sophia down, who ran to the door and waited for her mom. When Santana opened the door, Alma Lopez was beaming. She walked in the house and embraced Santana. "It's so good to see you Santana. You should come home more often!" Santana placed a kiss on her grandmother's cheek. "I should, abuela. But it's not that easy with a 4 year old energizer bunny." She looked down at Sophia who was jumping in place looking up at Alma. Alma smiled and crouched slowly to embrace her great-granddaughter. "Hola pequeña, how have you been?"

Sophia took Alma's hand and guided her to the living room. "I'm good, Buela, I was making empanadas!" Alma sat down on the couch and Sophia cuddled to her side. Santana sat opposite them in her dad's old rocking chair and smiled. "You were, Sophia? And where are they now?" Sophia started playing with Alma's ring. "Welllll, Bita said I can't fry them so she's doing it for me." Alma nodded. "That's good, are you helping her to plate?" Sophia gave a small scream and stood up as fast as she could. "I'M COMING BITAAAAAAA!" And she ran back to the kitchen. Santana and Alma laughed and shook their heads.

"You're probably tired of hearing this, Santana, but she is exactly like you were as a child. Except she doesn't bite other kids!"

Santana lifted a finger in mock indignation. "Hey, Billy Floyd stole my lunch, so he had to be punished!"

"Yes, well, he certainly didn't do it again!" Alma looked at her granddaughter intently. "How are you doing, Tanita?"

Santana nodded absentmindedly. "I'm doing well, Abuela, my work is going very good, I have a lot more clients now so I hired a new guy to help out, Sophia is very happy in pre-k, she's actually starting dance lessons next week there, so she's super excited…"

Alma raised an eyebrow. "I didn't ask about Sophia, or about your work. I mean, how are  _you_ doing, Tanita. You look a little thin to me."

Santana straightened her skirt. "I mean, I think I did lose some weight, but just because of stress."

"Bueno, don't let stress or work consume you, ok? You need to live and enjoy your life, you're young!"

Santana smiled. "I will Abuela, I promise."

"Good. Now come here and give your Abuela some love." Alma opened up her arms and Santana rushed to her side and got lost in her embrace. It was a comforting place, her head resting on Alma's chest, while the strong hands caressed her.

Maribel then called them for lunch, and Santana helped Alma up and into the kitchen, where Sophia had set the table and in the middle there was a big plate of empanadas, Sophia and Maribel beaming proudly. The Lopez women ate and talked animatedly and exchanged stories. After countless empanadas and a round of strong café con leche – only milk for Sophia – Santana put Sophia down for a nap and said goodbye to her mother and grandmother, who had settled in the living room to watch their novelas.


	5. The Truck That Ran Me Over Has A Name

 

Back in the hotel, Santana took a shower and got ready for the Shuesters' anniversary dinner. She had chosen a lavender dress that hugged her body and fit her like a second skin that went down to just above her knees and had a plunging neckline. She gently applied make up and fixed her hair. Nothing too elaborate, just her wild wavy curls that framed her face. She slid on her dress and silver heels and admired herself in the mirror. She still looked damn good, even if her smile was only half-hearted.  _Stop thinking about it, Lopez. Just go have fun with your friends and grace those small town losers with your awesomeness._ She called Mercedes' room before leaving, to make sure her friend was also ready. The party was being held in the same hotel, so they didn't have to wait for Rachel or Quinn. When Mercedes said she was ready, the two girls met by the elevator. Mercedes was wearing a flowing black and gold dress and golden highlights in her hair that shimmered when she walked. Santana gave an approving nod. "Looking hot, Wheezy!" Mercedes smiled. "Right back at ya, Satan! That dress looks all kinds of smoking on you." Sam walked over and placed an arm around Mercedes. "Both of you ladies look beautiful tonight, now let's go have some fun!"

When the elevator stopped and they got out, they walked over to the big reception area of the hotel, where there was a small table to one side. They quickly gave their names and got a table number in return. The music was blaring from inside the room, and when they walked in they had to take a minute to admire everything. There were already people dancing, sitting on tables or by the bar getting drinks. The whole room was decorated with red and white tones, there were about 20 tables scattered around with elegant numbers on top so everybody could see them. A band was playing on the stage in front of the dance floor, right in the middle of the room. The bar was off to the side, and on the other side there was a table with a huge 4-tiered cake and assorted hors-d'oeuvres. They quickly located table 4, which was to the left of the bar, and went to leave their coats and purses there. They stopped on the way to greet some people they knew, old McKinley teachers, students and friends' parents. Sam rushed to the bar to get them drinks, as the girls sat down. "This place looks great, right?" Santana nodded in response. "Yeah, looks like the Lima crew can dress up nicely from time to time. Hey, where's Mr. Shue, though?" Mercedes looked around and pointed towards the other side of the room. "I think that's him, talking to some old guy. Should we go over now?" Santana stood up and smoothed her dress. "Please, we're so much more interesting than some old fart, let's go." Mercedes stood up and linked arms with Santana as they both navigated the length of the room until they approached Will. When he turned around and saw the girls, his face erupted in a smile and he rushed over to hug them.

"Oh wow, if it isn't superstar Mercedes Jones and powerhouse Santana Lopez! Thank you so much for coming, girls!"

Mercedes beamed. "We wouldn't miss it for the world, Mr. Shue."

Will shook his head. "Please, I've been telling you for years now, call me Will…"

Santana chuckled. "Easier said than done, but you know we try… Will…"

"That's better! Now, just so you know, when you came in, your name was put in a hat, because after dinner we're gonna have a little duet competition!"

Santana shook her head. "Fine, just as long as you don't rap, I'm game."

They all laughed. "I promise, no rapping! Emma already made me agree to that."

Santana whispered: "Smart girl…"

Mercedes nudged her. "So, where is she?"

Will looked around and went to grab his wife, who turned and hugged the girls. "Oh my! Hi! So glad you could make it!"

Santana smiled. "Yeah, looks like a great party, open bar, right?"

Emma chuckled. "Yes, it is, Santana, not to worry."

Santana clapped her hands. "Then we're glad we're here!"

Will clasped the girls' hands. "It means a lot to us that you came, really. So go have fun, we're gonna go greet some more people!"

And with that, the Shuesters disappeared among newcomers. Santana and Mercedes said hello to Joe and Rory who were stuffing their mouths with canapés, and walked back to their table. When they got there, they saw that Rachel and Quinn were there already, along with Mike, Tina and Artie. They hugged and sat down. Santana grabbed the white wine Sam had gotten her and they all toasted.

A little while later, it seemed that the room was nearly full and so Will and Emma took to the stage amidst applause. "Thank you all so much for coming to celebrate with us our 10 year anniversary." More applause. "Emma and I are very proud to call you all our friends and family, and we know that we wouldn't be standing here, together and happy if it weren't for you. So please, let's enjoy our dinner, the entertainment will come afterwards, courtesy of our New Direction alumni that now boasts over 50 great and talented performers." Emma then took the mic from Will. "And don't worry, Will won't rap." Laughs. "But yeah, we are very grateful so many of them could come back and celebrate with us. Enjoy your dinner!" They walked down and settled on their table, as waiters clad in white walked in and served dinner. The low murmur of conversation and the metal clanking of silverware filled the air. The DJ played quiet music while everyone enjoyed the meal. At their table, Sam and Mike were exchanging TV horror stories, while the girls looked on amused. Artie was trying to defend his artistic vision but getting nowhere. Quinn noticed Santana was pushing her food around and leaned forward. "San, eat, please… Look, all our friends are here, and that blonde you keep looking for hasn't showed up. Just enjoy yourself, please?" Santana looked at her friend, seeing her worried expression. She relaxed her face and nodded. "I know Q, I know, I'm trying. And you're right, even if she does show up it doesn't mean we have to talk." Santana took a piece of chicken and stuffed it in her mouth, earning a satisfied smile from Quinn.

After the waiters had cleared the plates, Will stood up on the podium again. "After that great meal, it's time for some entertainment! If you want to dance, the floor is open!" Everyone clapped and most of the New Directions shuffled closer to the stage. "And what better way to start this, than with our own New Directions' superstars? Please welcome on stage Mercedes Jones, Santana Lopez and Quinn and Rachel Fabray-Berry!" There was a thundering applause and whooping from the audience, as Will descended and the four girls took the stage, their backs turned. Then a guitar started blaring and Rachel turned around to start singing.

 _This is for all you girls about thirteen,_  
High school can be so rough can be so mean,  
Hold on to on to your innocence,  
Stand your ground when everybody's givin' in.

_This one's for the girls_

Mercedes turned around to sing the next part, while Santana harmonized.

 _This is for all you girls about twenty five,_  
In little apartments just tryin' to get by,  
Livin' on on dreams and spaghetti-o's,  
Wonderin' where your life is gonna go.

Finally, all girls turned to sing together.

 _This one's for the girls,_  
Who've ever had a broken heart,  
Who've wished upon a shooting star,  
You're beautiful the way you are, (Quinn)  
This one's for the girls,  
Who love without holdin' back,  
Who dream with everything they have, (Rachel)  
All around the world,  
This one's for the girls.

Quinn took a step forward to sing while Rachel harmonized

 _This is for all you girls about forty two,_  
Tossin' pennies into the fountain of youth,  
Every laugh laugh line on your face,  
Made you who you are today.

The four girls started jumping and singing together

 _This one's for the girls,_  
Who've ever had a broken heart,  
Who've wished upon a shooting star,  
You're beautiful the way you are, (Santana)  
This one's for the girls,  
Who love without holdin' back,  
Who dream with everything they have, (Mercedes)  
All around the world,  
This one's for the girls.

Mercedes pointed at the audience as she sang

_Yeah we're all the same inside,  
From one to ninety nine_

The music faded as Rachel sang

 _This one's for the girls,_  
Who've ever had a broken heart,  
Who've wished upon a shooting star,  
You're beautiful the way you are,

The four girls joined in to end the song

 _This one's for the girls,_  
Who love without holdin' back,  
Who dream with everything they have,  
All around the world,  
This one's for the girls.

The crowd went wild and clapped for the girls, who were taking a bow on stage and hugging each other. Will came on stage and hugged each of the girls. Before they climbed down, Santana took the mic stand. "Follow that, bitches!" She threw her arms up as the crowd clapped louder and walked off the stage. As the next performers were getting ready, the girls walked back towards their table, where Sam, Puck, Finn and Artie were waiting with a bottle of champagne. Sam came forward to hug Mercedes. "That was awesome babe! You girls killed it, so we thought we'd toast to your awesomeness." They all grabbed a glass and clinked as a group of three guys and a girl took the stage. They watched the newer kids perform, noting how they barely knew their names, except for a few they got to know after leaving high school, mainly because Artie and Tina mentioned them. After Kurt and Blaine performed a Broadway duet that had Santana rolling her eyes every three seconds and Rachel singing along next to Quinn, it was the boys' turn to take the stage. Puck and Sam had their guitars and Finn settled behind the drum set. To show their support, the girls got up and walked right to the edge of the stage. Sam took the mic. "Thanks for that, Finn, Puck and I were talking yesterday about what song we wanted to sing for you, and so we decided to slow it down a little, and perform a song we wrote together right after graduation, before we had to go our separate ways, me to New York with my wonderful girl, Puck to LA and Finn off to Columbus for college. We never got a chance to sing it in Glee Club, so we thought this was the perfect chance for that." Everyone applauded as Puck started playing a mellow tune. He closed his eyes and started singing

 _Whenever I close my eyes, I picture you there_  
I'm looking out at the crowd, you're everywhere  
I'm watching you from the stage, yeah  
Your smile is on every face now  
But every time you wake up  
You're hearing me say  
Goodbye

Sam and Finn joined in

 _Baby, you don't have to worry_  
I'll be coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you  
Lately, I've been going crazy  
So I'm coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you

Sam continued, looking at Mercedes

 _I've never been so into somebody before_  
And every time we both touch I only want more  
So tell me nothing's going to change yeah  
And you won't ever walk away yeah  
'Cause even though every night you'll know what I'll say  
Goodbye

Finn and Puck sang with Sam

 _Baby, you don't have to worry_  
I'll be coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you  
Lately, I've been going crazy  
So I'm coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you

 _Right back for you_  
Right back for you  
Right back for you

_Lately, I've been going crazy  
So I'm coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you_

As the boys finished and everyone clapped, Sam stood up and leaned over to give Mercedes a kiss while everyone cheered. Will announced the first part of the entertainment over, and the DJ took over putting club music so everyone started dancing. Santana got dragged to the dance floor by Quinn and Mercedes and danced a while, getting more relaxed as time went by because of the absence of a specific blonde. But at the same time – and she hated herself for this – she was a little disappointed that the blonde wasn't there. She stopped thinking about it with help of the champagne and the white wine and danced with her friends. There were around 250 people at the party, so she got lost amidst the dancing bodies.

When she checked the time and saw it was almost 9, she excused herself and walked out to the hallway to call Maribel.

_Hola ma, I was calling to say good night to Sophia._

**Hola Tanita, she's right here, we were reading a story. Hold on, I'll put her on.**

**Mami?**

_Hola mi amor, how was your afternoon with Bita and Buela?_

**It was awesome, we made cookies and watched novelas and then we watched Frozen but in español!**

Santana chuckled.  _I may owe my mom a bottle of wine for that one._

_That's wonderful mija, now I'll come over tomorrow before lunch so we can eat together ok?_

**Ok mami!**

_Buenas noches Sophe, te amo._

**Buenas noches mami, te amo más.**

_Impossible mija, but you can keep trying! Sleep tight._

**You too mami!**

When Santana ended the call, she had a big smile on her face. Whatever else had happened over the years, at least now she had Sophia. She heard someone approaching and when she turned and saw Finn, she smiled.

"I think that smile can only mean one thing, you were talking to Sophia, right?"

Santana nodded as they both sat on a plush loveseat. "Yeah, I was calling her good night."

"Is she driving your mom crazy, yet?"

Santana chuckled. "Ohhh yeah, but my mom loves her, so it's fine." She looked at Finn. "How about you?"

Finn feigned shock. "Me? I never drive my mom crazy..."

They laughed and Santana playfully nudged him. "You know what I mean."

Finn shrugged. "I'm good, the shop is doing better than I expected and I'm actually good at this."

"And Michelle? I thought she'd be here with you."

Finn shook his head. "She... she decided to stay home with the kids."

Santana put her hand on his shoulder, and he smiled a sad smile. "I've given you a lot of shit over the years, Finnocence, but you know you can talk to me if you want to."

Finn covered Santana's hand with his own. "I know, I just don't know what's going on. After Leigh was born, Michelle just ... pulled away from me. We've been married for almost 4 years now and we've never had any major problems. But lately, she barely leaves the house, she works from home and she spends all day with Billy and Leigh, playing with them and when I get home, it's like I'm not even there. And she wasn't like this when Billy was born, at all."

They were silent for a while, as Santana thought of what to say. "How old is Leigh now, like 5 months?"

Finn nodded. "She turned 5 months on the 4th."

"It's definitely not just a case of the baby blues, why don't you try to take her out on a date or something, get a babysitter or your parents to come over, and see if you can get her to talk to you? A lot of moms tend to bottle up their feelings when their kids are newly born, because our attention is so focused on the little one that we forget to take care of ourselves."

"I think I can do that. I don't want to lose her or my family."

"You won't if you work on it. I mean, the fact that you're worried means a lot."

Finn looked up at Santana and they smiled. She threw her arms wide and they embraced. He leaned close. "Thanks Santana, for listening."

"Anytime Frankenteen, I mean, all your previous exes are lesbians now, so I figured one had to stick."

They laughed and Finn stood up, offering her a hand. "C'mon, let's go dance. Or at least, you'll dance and I'll try not to step on your toes."

Santana took his hand and they walked back in and joined their friends on the dance floor.

A few hours later, when the older crowd had already left and the remaining ones had either loosened their ties or kicked off their shoes, Will took to the stage again, this time with a very familiar top hat in his hand. "All right everyone! It's time for the hat! As you know, it was a New Directions tradition to pick duet partners by fate, and when there were only 12 of you it was considerably easier to guess who would sing with whom. Now, as of last count, we have 32 former New Directions' members here tonight, and all your names are in this hat. And following tradition, I will pick two names and you'll come up here and perform a duet for us. I have some old friends here to help you." He gestured as Brad the Piano Player and the former Jazz Band members took the stage. Everyone clapped and jumped up and down excited to see them. Will made a flourish with his hand as he picked the first names. "And the first ones tonight are… Mason McCarthy! Aaaand… oooh, good luck Mason! The one and only, Santana Lopez!" Santana smirked and moved forward as she saw a tall lanky curly haired boy walk towards the stage. Will introduced them on stage, they shook hands and walked towards the band to decide what to sing.

"All right, listen up curls, Santana Lopez needs something badass to sing. Like, Rolling Stones or something."

Mason looked like a deer in headlights. "Can we compromise? What about Bette Midler covering Rolling Stones?" Santana stared at him for 10 seconds before smiling. "Deal. Hit it Brad!"

They walked towards center stage where there were two mic stands.

Santana started singing as the audience clapped in tune with the music.

_Now write this down_

_I'll never be your beast of burden_  
My back is broad but it's hurtin'  
All I want is for you to make love to me

She turned to Mason to continue singing

 _I'll never be your beast of burden_  
I walk for miles, my feet are hurtin'  
All I want is for you to make love to me

Mason took the mic off the stand and sang at Santana.

 _What's the matter with me?_  
Ain't I hot enough?  
Ain't I rough enough?  
Ain't I rich enough?  
I'm not too blind to see, ohh, ohh

Santana continued, playing off of Mason

 _I'll never be your beast of burden_  
So let's go home and draw the curtains  
Put some music on the radio  
C'mon, baby, make some love to me

Mason kneeled down to sing

 _Oh, what's the matter with me?_  
Ain't I hot enough?  
Ain't I rough enough?  
Ain't I rich enough?  
I'm not too blind to see, ohh, ohh

He turned towards the audience and pointed at a girl, while singing

 _My little sister is a pretty, pretty girl_  
My little sister is a pretty, pretty girl  
She loves to ride, she loves to crawl  
They love to take her out behind the garden wall

Santana sang the next part

 _And when they're done they just throw her away_  
And she don't have an awful lot to say  
It hurts her so bad to come to the end  
I remember all the times she spent sayin', please

 _Ain't I hot enough?_  
Ain't I rough enough?  
Ain't I rich enough?  
I'm not too blind to see, ohh, ohh  
Ohh, ohh

Mason took over as they danced.

 _I'll never be your beast of burden_  
My back is broad, baby but it's a' hurtin'  
And all I want is you to make love to me

_What's the matter, what's the matter with me?  
Ain't I hot enough?_

Santana sang _  
Ooh, yeah, ain't I rough enough?_

Mason sang __  
Ooh, yeah, ain't I rich enough, rich enough, rich enough  
Too blind to see? Too blind, too blind, ohh

They sang the last part together, harmonizing

 _I'll never be your beast of burden_  
I walk for miles, honey, my feet are hurtin'  
And all I want is for you to make love to me

When the song ended, they high-fived and took a bow as everyone clapped. When they walked off stage, Santana turned to Mason. "That was great, curls! How about we grab a drink to celebrate?"

Mason gushed. "Oh my, yes, that would be awesome! I've always wanted to sing with you, you were both a Glee legend and a Cheerios legend!"

Santana took him by the arm. "Oh, you're another one of Sue's survivors? C'mon, this may be the booze talking, but I'll let you in on some war secrets."

They walked back towards the bar as Will announced the next duet partners (Tina and Blaine). Santana took one look at the stage and leaned to Mason. "20 bucks says they're gonna do Katy Perry." Mason just lifted an eyebrow and then said. "Deal." Santana smirked as the tune of "Waking Up In Vegas" started sounding. Mason groaned. "Oh man, how did you know?"

Santana shrugged. "Blaine is a sucker for Katy Perry, and Tina is a sucker for Blaine. Easy." She smirked as Mason reached for his wallet and handed her two ten dollar bills. She turned her attention back to him and he started telling her about his experience in Cheerios with his sister, Madison, while being teased by Kitty. In the distance, Santana heard cheers which indicated that Tina and Blaine were done. She was swapping stories of Cheerios tryout horrors when Will's voice said the only three words that would be able to render her speechless. "Brittany S. Pierce!" She felt chills run down her spine, stopped midsentence, grabbed Mason's forearm and squeezed as she slowly turned towards the stage.  _What did he say? No way._ He must've made a mistake, right? I mean, Brittany wasn't there, she hadn't seen her all night! And just as her mind was rationalizing that obviously Shuester had screwed up, a tall blonde took the stage behind a chubby bespectacled guy and hugged Will. Her eyes were seeing it, but her brain failed to register that it was indeed Brittany. She couldn't take her eyes off the blonde, she didn't hear Mason's complaints that she was hurting him, she didn't see Quinn, Mercedes and Rachel searching for her frantically in the crowd and she didn't notice the dryness of her throat. It wasn't until Mason snapped his fingers in her face that she came to. "Santana! You're hurting me!" She snapped back to him and released his arm with a murmured "Sorry." She wanted to run away, away from here, from  _her,_ but she couldn't move. She was hypnotized by the tall blonde girl on stage, looking – fuck – as beautiful as ever, blue eyes sparkling as always, even from the distance. When the song started, she froze in place and just looked on.

Rodrick started singing

 _I'm not surprised_  
Not everything lasts  
I've broken my heart so many times,  
I stopped keepin' track.  
Talk myself in  
I talk myself out  
I get all worked up  
Then I let myself down.

Brittany took over as she danced around the stage

 _I tried so very hard not to lose it_  
I came up with a million excuses  
I thought, I thought of every possibility

Both harmonized

_And I know someday that it'll all turn out  
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out_

Rodrick sang alone

_And I promise you kid, that I'll give so much more than I get  
I just haven't met you yet_

Brittany sang, looking at the bar

 _I might have to wait_  
I'll never give up  
I guess it's half timing  
And the other half's luck  
Wherever you are  
Whenever it's right  
You come out of nowhere and into my life

Rodrick took over

 _And I know that we can be so amazing_  
And baby your love is gonna change me  
And now I can see every possibility

Both harmonized

_But somehow I know that will all turn out  
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out_

Rodrick too over

_And I promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get  
I just haven't met you yet_

Both sang together

 _They say all's fair_  
In love and war  
But I won't need to fight it  
We'll get it right  
And we'll be united

Brittany took center stage as she sang

 _And I know that we can be so amazing_  
And being in your life is gonna change me  
And now I can see every single possibility

 _And someday I know it'll all turn out_  
And I'll work, to work it out  
Promise you kid, I'll give more than I get  
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Both sang together as they danced around

 _Oh you know it will all turn out_  
And you'll make me work, so we can work, to work it out  
And I promise you kid, to give so much more than I get

Rodrick sang alone

_Yeah I just haven't met you yet_

_I just haven't met you yet_  
Oh promise you kid  
To give so much more than I get

Brittany sang

_I said love, love, love, love, love, love, love_

Rodrick sang _  
I just haven't met you yet_

Brittany sang _  
Love, love, love, love, love, love_

Rodrick sang _  
I just haven't met you yet_

They finished and hugged, and the crowd applauded. Quinn had finally spotted Santana, and she was walking over with Mercedes and Rachel. Santana hadn't moved in the last 5 minutes, her mind seemed to be going in twenty different directions.

She hadn't been in the same room since Brittany in so long, she forgot - or rather, she had made herself forget - the blonde's magnetic presence, radiating light, goodness and love. That smile that made Santana's head turn to mush and made her stutter. Brittany's whole demeanor when she danced, like every cell in her body was enjoying it. Santana felt her body scream. It screamed in pain, in heartache, it wanted her to stand up and go on stage and kiss the blonde, slap her, yell at her, claw at her, cry, let the blonde embrace her and cradle her, all at once. How dare she come back and do this to her? Who the fuck did she think she was, making Santana feel all this again? Santana wasn't really there, in that room. She was back in her front porch watching the blonde drive away. She was back in her room with a letter in her hand, reading Brittany's words written in her handwriting but not really understanding how they came out of the blonde. She was in her car, on the Pierce's driveway crying, not daring to go in and let Whitney hold her.

Quinn stood in front of Santana, and it took the Latina a minute to focus on the hazel eyes. "Santana, talk to me. Focus!" Santana saw the worried expression on her face and the fire in her eyes and took a sip of her drink before stammering an answer.

"I – I'm… shit Q, I don't know, I feel like I've been hit by a truck right in the gut!" Mercedes and Rachel sat to each of Santana's sides and put their hands on her knees. Santana ran a hand through her hair.

"Yeah, I can tell, none of us had noticed she was even here… So… what are you gonna do?" Quinn's tone was both parts questioning and daring Santana to take action. Santana shook her head.

"I'm not gonna do anything Q, I'm gonna sit here, finish my drink, get my heartbeat back under control and then we'll see. So if you want to stay with me, you bitches are doing shots." She turned back around and motioned for the bartender to pour four shots of tequila. The girls exchanged worried glances, Mercedes shrugged and turned around. Quinn sat next to Rachel, a resigned look on her face. The girls took the shot and were just setting their glasses down, when Santana ordered another round. After three rounds in silence, Santana finally turned towards her friends. "I'm gonna go dance." She stood up abruptly, swaying slightly, and the girls hurried to the dance floor with her. Santana saw in her peripheral vision the blonde on the other side of the room talking to Artie and Mike, and she purposefully walked towards the opposite end of the dance floor grabbing Mercedes' hand and danced her nervousness away. She closed her eyes and let her body move with the music until she could feel the nothingness envelop her. And then she heard a faint voice say "Take her to her room" and strong but tender arms guiding her. She let the arms guide her, where, she didn't know. She couldn't focus, all she kept seeing was the tall blonde in her wispy silk shirt and tight leather pants. Santana felt the warm fluffy embrace of a comforter, closed her eyes and thankfully couldn't see the blonde in her mind anymore.


	6. Picnics, Blondes, and Brunettes

 

_Earlier that same day_

How did I end up here again? Why did I come?

I take a deep breath as I close my eyes. Of course. The answer is there, it's always the same one. Her. I need to see her again. It's been so long I don't even know how to start a conversation. What do you say after almost 10 years of silence? Hello? Nice to see you? No, she wouldn't like that. I have to shake my head and try to understand that as much as it hurts me, I don't know what she would like anymore. When mom called a few weeks ago to say she'd gotten an invitation for me at the house, my first instinct was to tell her to throw it away. Why would I go back to Lima if not for  _her_? But then it hit me: She must've gotten the same invitation. And maybe, just maybe, she'd be there. So instead of telling my mom to forget it, I asked her to reply for me and confirm my assistance. I went online and booked a ticket before even telling Pierre at the studio. I think that was my first indication that I was just waiting for something to call me back home. But why did I have to wait so long?

The flight from Berlin was uneventful, but long. I slept most of the way, except when I woke up at 2 am and replayed a whole old Cheerios routine in my mind before going back to sleep. This had been happening often lately. And only old Cheerios routine helped relax me. Thinking about routines is always my go-to sleeping method, but of course the only ones  _she's_ in are the Cheerios, so I need to see her there, in my mind.

When I arrived in Lima, my mom and dad picked me up and we spent hours in the living room just catching up. My mom had taken out my favorite blanket and I sat curled up in it with a mug of hot chocolate with little marshmallows and just talked to my parents and listened to their stories with Abby. She was still in college, finals they said, so she wouldn't be home for a few weeks and they hoped I could stay that long to see her, since it had been years since we had all been together under the same roof. Lima isn't very big, and I didn't want anyone else to know I was there until Will and Emma's party, because I couldn't risk  _her_ finding out and not coming. So I just hauled up at home for three days before the party. The only other person who knows I'm here is Becky, but she promised not to say anything to anyone.

Today I woke up really early, maybe from nerves. I decided to go for a run, clear my head and breathe a little. During my walk, I stopped at that park. That park that meant so much to us, so long ago. It's where we first said I love you, as girlfriends, back in junior year. I remember the picnic I packed, and how she laughed when she saw it was only pringles, grapes and gummy worms. Luckily, because she knew me so well, she had brought some sandwiches and juice as well. We sat in this rickety wooden table and ate, as she squished ants under the table because she thought I wouldn't notice, but I did. I didn't say anything because I was so happy she was finally holding my hand and smiling, without looking around to see if someone would see us. I had been wanting to say I love you since that first kiss under the covers two years before, but I knew this was something she needed to say first.

"So do you think Gummy Bears and Sour Patch Kids are related?" I remember the look on her face when I asked her that question. She was the only person I was comfortable around to ask the kind of things that went through my head all the time. She looked at me with big sparkly eyes that were boiling with emotion. She smiled that beautiful smile that always made me feel warm inside and chuckled. And I heard it escape her lips, almost as an afterthought: "I love you..."

My head stopped working and I could only stare at her. She didn't even realize she said it for about 10 seconds. I saw the realization on her face when her smile froze and she looked away and started wringing her wrists as she always did when she was nervous. I got up and went around to kneel in front of her, forcing her to move away from the table and face me. I grabbed her hands in mine and found her eyes and locked on them. I smiled at her. "I love you, too Santana." That smile that broke on her face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was pure happiness and relief. And I understood right then that she hadn't said it before because she was scared I wouldn't say it back. But how could I NOT love her? I guess that was part of her own insecurities I spent years trying to chip away.

She let out a "really?" and I leaned forward to kiss her and whisper "of course" against her lips. She put her arms around me and squeezed me tight, as if she wanted to get as close to me as possible. I could feel her tears leaving a little pool on my shoulder, but I knew better than to acknowledge it. We hugged for what felt like forever, perfectly content to let our bodies tell each other how we felt.

After our lunch, we walked back to my house holding hands and watched a movie with my parents and Abby, cuddled under my favorite blanket.

This picnic table brought all that back, and I finally realized why I hadn't come home so much: because she's everywhere.

I wiped a stray tear, shook my head and continued my run around town, until I got back home panting and ready for a shower.

Mom was in the kitchen making waffles, so I gave her a quick kiss before going upstairs to shower and change into clean clothes and get ready for family breakfast.

After lunch my mom helped me decide what to wear, and now here I am, standing in front of the mirror in my parents' bedroom readjusting my sleeves. The pants are a little tighter than they were at the store, but maybe because I've been stress eating for two days and my mom has the biggest gummy worms stash ever! I think the white silk shirt looks good with the black pants. I don't want to get too dressed up, because how will I dance? My hair falls straight to my sides, and I have on very little makeup, I usually don't wear any, but this is an occasion, right? I take a deep breath and walk downstairs where my parents are watching TV. Dad mutes the TV when I walk into the living room and they both look at me. I stand there feeling nervous so I tell them to please say something. Mom beams and says: "Oh honey, you look so beautiful! Doesn't she, Pierce?"

Dad nods. "Absolutely. You're stunning, sweetie."

I blush. They always know what to say to make me feel better. "Thanks guys… um, Becky should be here any minute now." I glance out the door, but there are no headlights approaching. Mom motions to the couch, so I sit next to her and try to concentrate on the TV. 8 minutes later, there's a knock on the door. I jump up to get it and it's Becky, smiling wide as always. We hug.

"Let's rock this bitch!"

I laugh and wave goodbye to my parents, who look a little stunned at Becky's language. I'm used to it by now. I walk towards the car and I notice a handsome guy driving. "This is my boyfriend Mark, hotstuff, this is my friend Brittany." Mark waves at me and I do the same. He has a very honest smile, I like it.

"Nice to meet you Brittany, I've heard a lot about you! Please, get in." I get in the backseat and get the lowdown on Mark as he drives us towards the party. Turns out he's a manager at Quiznos and they met in college. He's not coming to the party, but he has graciously agreed to be our driver. I think that's sweet of him, and I say so. When we get to the party, I notice there are a lot of people here already. Good. I asked Becky if we could arrive about a half an hour later than the invitation said to, just to ensure that if  _she_ had come,  _she'd_ be here before me. I figure they're all coming from New York together, and I know Mercedes is a sucker for being on time, so she would make them get there early. Even after so many years, some things never change.

The room is so pretty with all these reds and whites, it makes me smile. I quickly scan the room and my heart stops as I see  _her_. It's impossible to miss  _her,_  really, since  _she_  radiates. Maybe that's just me, maybe  _she_  has this special Brittany beacon, but that can't be. Everyone notices when  _she_ walks into a room. And lavender is definitely her color. With a sigh of relief, I see our table is a way behind  _hers,_ so there's no way she can see me as I come closer. There are many people at the table, Coach Sue is there, Coach Beiste with a scary man who has a really loud laugh, a few Cheerios I vaguely remember and Jacob Ben Israel. He immediately wants to tweet about my presence at the party, but I silence him with threatening to tell everyone about the time I found him in the Cheerios locker room sniffing Sue's underwear.  _That_ shuts him up. Will and Emma walk to our table and they are surprised, but pleased, to see me, as I am to be there. We try to keep chatting, but a stern man with a headset calls them away. A few minutes later, they are on stage welcoming us to the party and announcing dinner. I always find it funny that they have to announce it. Wouldn't people notice dinner is coming when they see the waiters? Anyway, the waiters come, obviously, and we eat. Sue is going on about how when she was the chef at this hotel the food was better, and everyone is half listening to her. I can't concentrate properly because I keep stealing glances three tables forward, where  _she_ is sitting, with all of our old friends. I still keep in touch with some of them, but Quinn, Rachel and Mercedes have kind of distanced themselves from me, out of loyalty I presume, and I don't blame them for it. I understand. We talk from time to time, but it's not the same, and I know not to ask about  _her_ , and they never offer any information either.

After a delicious dinner, I guess Will has asked some people to sing. I shouldn't be surprised, since he always likes to save on entertainment by making New Directions sing. He announces: "And what better way to start this, than with our own New Directions' superstars? Please welcome on stage Mercedes Jones, Santana Lopez and Quinn and Rachel Fabray-Berry!" I have to remind myself to breathe.  _She_ 's right there, looking stunning in that lavender dress and with wild curls, just like  _she_ prefers. I listen to that voice that always melts my heart, and I notice the performance, the way  _she_  acts on stage. It's mesmerizing. This is where  _she_ belongs, I've always known it, and I've always said so. Maybe I'm biased, but I think  _she_ steals the show. When the song ends, I clap along with everyone else and I see them get off the stage and wander off to drink. My heart wants me to follow them, but I know it wouldn't be right. I need to get  _her_ alone if I'm going to approach. Otherwise,  _she'll_ just get defensive and let the rest of them protect  _her._ After many more performances where all I can do is stare at  _her_  and marvel at the fact  _she_ can't sense my gaze.  _She_  used to. We would always lock eyes whenever we were in the same room, no matter how many people were there or even if we were mad at each other. We were opposite magnets, always pulling each other towards one another. And now here I am, so outside of that circle that I begin to wonder just what the hell I'm doing here. I can't help but think that Puck, Sam and Finn's song is directed right at us. Because here I am, back again, back for  _her._ I know it's crazy and I have no place in her life anymore, but I have to try. Even if I'm the one who pushed her away.

When the dj starts playing something more upbeat, Becky grabs my arm and asks me to go dance with her. I drag her towards the far end of the dance floor, ensuring a good 30 people between me and  _her._ We dance and have fun, spotting a few people who come over to say hello, including Tina and Mike. I freeze because I know they're at the same table as  _her,_ but then I remember not everyone knows that we're not speaking anymore. Artie is surprised to see me, and I'm happy to see him, because he hasn't really changed, only his glasses changed. We dance a bit before he wheels off again. I think the vodka is getting to me, so I make a beeline for the bathroom, always careful not to get too close to  _her_ side. I run into Finn and Kurt's parents, I know her name is Carol, but I can't remember his name and I don't want to be rude. I know they're their parents because they won't shut up about Kurt's fashion career and Finn taking over the tire shop. Burt! That's his name. I knew I'd remember it eventually. I excuse myself – politely, I hope – and I go back to find Becky. We sit back in our table as Will walks on stage again. It looks like he's gonna perform magic, because I see the black hat from where he pulled the duck out once. But no, he says every old glee kid is going to sing a duet. I freeze. At some point, he's gonna call my name, and what – crap – what if once again because of fate, we are paired up together? No, I wouldn't go up. I can't. But if it's someone else, this may be my chance to let  _her_  know I'm back, perhaps see how  _she_  reacts? Yes, I can't very well go over to  _her_  now since I don't know when they'll call my name. They call a boy over, and then  _her._ I breathe again. At least I avoided  _that_ little embarrassment. I don't recognize the guy, so he must be younger. I see them talking animatedly, and I chuckle, because I know  _she's_ gonna get her way. When the music starts, my mind goes blank again.  _She_ always has that effect on me. I clap along with everyone else, and when they get off stage, I see them walk over to the bar to drink. Huh, guess  _she_ must've liked him? He looks pretty happy to be drinking next to  _her,_ so I assume he's heard all the stories at school. At least the good ones. I force myself to focus back on the next duets, but my eyes drift sideways towards the bar. I'm so ridiculous. I haven't laid eyes on  _her_  in 10 years and here I am, back again feeling like when I was 17. I still have our pictures, but it's different when it's in the flesh. And the thought forms before me knowing it.  _I love her. Of course I do._ I never stopped, not really. Not even while I was dating other people. It's a special kind of love, and I let it go. And Santana deserves to know why, and I need to tell her. Santana. That's the first time I've actually spoken her name in a long time. I never say it because it hurts too much. But seeing her here, I can start to use it again. I'm not afraid anymore. I made it this far, right? If I'm being honest with myself, I've been gearing up for this moment for the last 10 years. Will's voice brings me back to the present. And it should, since he's saying my name. I freeze, noticing how Santana freezes. Becky gives me a little nudge and I sprint towards the stage as Will calls on another name. I faintly hear applause as I get on stage and Will hugs me. He introduces me to Rodrick, and I don't wait to hear his suggestions, because I know what I want to sing. And I hope he knows it and can help me. "Rodrick, do you know Michael Buble?" He looks at me quizzically. "Of course." I clasp his shoulder. "Good, so let's do Haven't Met You Yet. Cool?" He nods and smiles. "Awesome."

As we sing, I direct my words towards the bar, towards Santana. I hope she can really listen to them. This is my first step, this is me opening this door. I just need her to want to walk in. Or is it: let me in? I don't know the finer details of the metaphor, but the point is I need us to talk soon.

The song is over before I know it, and I go down to the dance floor where I'm embraced by many of my old friends who want to know what I've been doing. I see Quinn, Mercedes and Rachel turn around and walk over to Santana and I'm not surprised. I concentrate on the people around me and start catching up. I know I have to give Santana some time to compose herself before I can even begin to think about how to approach her. I'm talking to Artie and Mike for a while, as I see from the corner of my eye how Santana and the girls walk back to the dance floor. Tina pulls me towards the cake table to gush about her daughters and show me pictures, so I lose sight of Santana.

After a few other people I don't know, Will calls Rachel and Mike on stage, and even though it takes her a moment, Rachel walks up looking a little startled and stumbling a bit. I never hear what they sing, because I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turn around, Quinn is standing there with her hands on her hips and an unreadable expression on her face. I'm really bad at reading Quinn because she's always good at hiding how she feels. I smile shyly.

"Hey…"

Quinn raises an eyebrow and motions for me to follow her out of the room and towards the hallway. I feel like a bad puppy who's gonna get yelled at. I slump my shoulders and follow her out. She turns towards me and I think I see a little smile forming.

"You sure know how to make an entrance."

I chuckle. "I didn't really plan it like that."

She lets her arms fall to the side and shakes her head as she walks forward and gives me a hug. I wasn't really expecting it, but it feels good to hug Quinn again. She still smells the same. "C'mere".

"I missed you, Q. You look great."

She breaks the hug and smiles at me. "I missed you too, Britt." I can see the question in her eyes. The 'What are you doing here?' question she's too polite to just come out and ask. I take a deep breath.

"Are you here to yell at me?"

Quinn frowns. "Why would I yell at you?"

I shrug. "For everything. For disappearing and now just showing up."

She relaxes her face. "I'm sure you had your reasons, and honestly Britt, we both know I'm not the one you owe an explanation to. I just missed my friend."

I know she's right. "You're right. I just – I don't – I don't know what to say."  _To her._ I don't say it, but Quinn knows.

Quinn shrugs. "I don't think there's anything you can say, at least not tonight. Sam took her upstairs a little while ago, she – um, she kinda drank too much so she's resting."

I know why she drank so much. Because I was there. I ruined her night. I know it. My eyes fill with tears, but Quinn wipes them away. "No, Britt, relax, you have every right to be here, too. It's not your fault how she reacts, ok?"

I nod. There's nothing I can say, really. Quinn cups my face. "Can we go back in and dance, please? I want to enjoy my night with my wife and my friends, and you know I'll always think of you as one of my best friends, Britt."

I smile at her and give her a hug. "I'm really sorry I missed your wedding, Q." My voice is barely a whisper, but it's something I've wanted to say for 8 years. Quinn strokes my hair.

"Water under the bridge, Brittany. Rachel and I understand, and plus, we got to see you on the honeymoon, so don't worry. Now take a deep breath and come back inside with me, please." I wipe my tears and manage a smile. Quinn takes my hand and we go back inside, where I finally greet Mercedes, Rachel, Puck and Finn. They all welcome me and give me hugs. I was a little tense at first but I start to relax when I realize none of them are going to ask me questions about Santana or what happened.

The rest of the night is a blur, and not because I had champagne, but because I'm with my old friends, laughing and dancing and singing. We start an impromptu performance of Don't Stop Believin', our New Directions anthem, but since most of us are drunk, it's not as good as we think it is. Even Rachel is a little pitchy, but she bursts into tears when Mercedes points it out, and it takes Quinn 20 minutes and 2 bottles of water to calm her down. It doesn't really help that we're all laughing.

I get a text from Becky saying she left because she got bored, so I realize I don't have a ride. Puck offers to share a cab with me, and he drops me home at around 4. Before I left, I made sure to give Quinn my new number and she said she'd call me in the morning so we could get together before she left for New York. When I get home, I tiptoe to my room and collapse on the bed.

I'm awakened by the smell of pancakes. My head doesn't hurt much, because I managed to stop drinking an hour before leaving and just drank water. But I'm exhausted still. I look at my bedside clock and I see it's almost 10. I wash my face and change into sweats before walking downstairs. Mom and dad are in the kitchen table. I kiss them good morning and pile the pancakes on my plate. I spend breakfast filling my parents in on my night. I leave out the Santana of it all, because I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

At noon I get a text from Quinn that reads: "Can we have lunch?" I immediately reply with a 'yes' and we make plans to meet at 1:30. I take a quick shower and get ready. I decide to walk to the restaurant, since it's not that far away and I have missed walking around Lima. I get there 5 minutes before we're supposed to meet, but I'm not surprised to see Quinn there already, reading a book. I slide in the booth across from her, and she smiles at me.

"You're early!"

"Yeah, well, I walked over here, and I figured you'd be here already."

Quinn chuckles and sets her book aside. The waiter comes over and we glance at the menu before ordering. When he leaves, I rest my head on my palm and look at my friend.

"So, how's Rachel? And how did you get away from her?"

She laughs. "Rachel's fine, her show is doing pretty well and she's already in talks for the next one… And she's at the hotel spa getting pampered; she's calling this a mini vacation since we rarely get to be more than 24 hours away from the twins."

I ask her about the boys, and she gushes, as all mothers do I presume, and I just listen. It's still kind of shocking for me to hear  _Quinn_ talk about her kids. Her kids with  _Rachel._ We all knew they loved each other, but I didn't think they'd admit it to one another. I'm glad they did. They are so in love and it makes me so happy. After the waiter brings our food, Quinn turns a little more serious.

"So, um, Britt, how come you decided to come back home for Shuester's thing? You haven't been here in 3 years…"

I take a deep breath. "Well, I was already planning on coming, so I just readjusted my dates."

She puts her fork down and turns her attention solely to me. "And how long are you staying in Lima?"

I look around and make a vague gesture. "A week or two I suppose, Abby is coming home after finals and I want to see her before I leave."

Quinn raises an eyebrow. "And where are you leaving for now? Back to Germany?"

This is it. This is the question she's been wanting to ask since last night. And finally, I am absolutely sure of my answer. I meet her gaze. "No. New York."


	7. Bread Bowls Are Instruments Of Fate

 

_Present Day_

It had been a week since that eventful weekend in Lima. Santana had woken up with a massive headache and a sense of dread that couldn't be completely attributed to her hangover. She hadn't really said much to her friends that Sunday, choosing to pick up Sophia after a late breakfast and staying with her until Mercedes called to say they had to leave for the airport. The plane ride back to New York was noticeably tenser, everyone was making an effort not to talk about Brittany's surprise appearance and Santana spent the flight playing with Sophia in the back. When Sophia asked them all how the party went, they all looked at Santana to answer for them. Santana picked her daughter up, kissed her and said: "It was really fun, mija, but never as much fun as when we party with  _you"_ Sophia had laughed and cuddled her mother, and everyone else just sighed in relief.

When the limo dropped the pair off at their house, Sophia gave everyone hugs while Santana said goodbye with a curt nod and a half smile. Once inside their house, Sophia rushed to her room to unpack and rehash the trip with Humphrey, while Santana went to her bathroom and drew a bath. When the water was just at the right temperature, Santana climbed in, leaned back and closed her eyes. In the privacy of her own bathroom, assured no one would interrupt her, she finally let herself feel the full effect of the weekend's emotional shock. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and she let them fall without wiping them off. She took deep breaths and felt the sting of the tears and her heart slowly chipping away at the wall she had built around her heart. A heart that so utterly and totally belonged to that blonde, even after all these years. And she hated that. She hated the fact that she had never reclaimed it, that after all the pain and suffering she had gone through, one look at those immense, deep blue eyes was all it took for the blonde to reassure her that yes, she absolutely held the lock and the key to her heart.

Santana remembered the failed attempts over the years to finally move on from Brittany. There had been two- or three if Sophia's dad counted - and none had lasted very long. The first girl was Kelly, a friend of her roommate's at Columbia whom she had met her second week there. Kelly was the complete opposite of Brittany: short, spiky dark red hair, nose ring, tough attitude and a motorcycle. She worked as a waitress in a seedy biker's bar and used to crash in their dorm room after her shifts. Kelly always walked in without knocking at 7 am and flopped onto the bed and was out cold by 7:04. Santana didn't mind this intruder since she usually had morning classes anyways, until that one Friday when her morning classes got cancelled and she returned to her dorm room to find Kelly getting out of the shower. Santana was startled, but Kelly just smirked and sat down on the bed. After the initial shock, Santana recovered and the girls got to talking. Kelly asked her out to lunch and Santana agreed. Two weeks of heavy make out sessions later, Kelly wanted more, but Santana wasn't ready. When Kelly got angry, Santana ended things and forbade her roommate from letting Kelly crash in their room again.

Almost 2 years after Kelly, Santana had only indulged in drunken make-outs with random girls, since it was all she was prepared for. She decided she was better off without ever giving her heart away again, so she wrote off romance once and for all. At Quinn's birthday party, Quinn and Rachel introduced her to Stephanie, a very pretty paralegal who interned at the same firm Quinn did. Quinn and Rachel had decided that it was about time Santana gave romance another shot, and Stephanie seemed like the best candidate. She was a tall black girl with dark green eyes and long hair, who had dimples when she smiled which she did often, and a tendency to talk with her hands. Stephanie was immediately drawn to Santana, who just thought this was another friend. They chatted amicably that day and Stephanie asked Santana for her number. Santana was hesitant at first, but since she'd had a nice conversation, she decided to give it to her. Stephanie texted her the next day asking her out, and Santana agreed to go out for coffee. This time though, Santana chose to go out on a few dates without having any physical contact to see how Stephanie would react. Stephanie never pressured her and when they finally kissed, it was because Santana leaned forward to kiss her good night. They used to go out and talk for hours, and every time Stephanie tried to embrace Santana or hold her hand, Santana would only allow it for a few minutes before squirming away with some lame excuse. Three weeks later, Stephanie was tired of Santana keeping her at arms' length, and when she asked Santana why she did it, Santana chose to end it, instead of opening her heart and confessing why she kept her at bay.

After this futile attempt, all of her friends gave up on trying to set Santana up with someone and Santana went back to her casual make-outs whenever she craved some physical contact.

Santana knew that Stephanie was the kind of girl she could've grown to love, but that was too scary. In the dim light of her bathroom she could confess to herself that no one would measure up to Brittany in her eyes, and frankly, she didn't want to find one who could. Sophia was now her beacon of love and affection, and someone she could love immensely without fearing it would end, because a mother's love was all encompassing. She knew that she couldn't replace romantic affection with her daughter's affection, but she realized she didn't need romance anymore. She had had a lifetime supply of it during her years with Brittany, and the memory - even bittersweet as it was - was enough to see her through.

When the water grew colder, Santana rinsed herself off and stepped out. She put on sweats and an old Cheerios t-shirt and went to check on Sophia. Sophia was in the fort she had built with Chris and Luke that time watching TV with Humphrey beside her. She beamed when she saw her mom walk over and motioned for her to sit down next to her in the fort.

"I thought there were no grownups allowed in the fort..."

Sophia leaned in and whispered. "Not when Chris and Luke are here, but I'll allow it when we're alone."

Santana chuckled and put an arm around her daughter, who scurried closer. "Well thank you mija, it'll be our little secret."

They spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV and after dinner and a bath, Santana tucked Sophia in and went to her room to fire up her laptop and get up to date with her work emails.

"Let's see the damage..." she muttered as the browser loaded her email. "Shit" was all she said when it announced she had 165 new messages.  _Fuck, I was only gone for three days, and it was a weekend!_ After filtering out some spam messages, she got down to 132. As she suspected, a dozen of those were story alerts for Mercedes and her using a private plane for the weekend from different gossip sources.  _Told you Wheezy, now I have to deal with this shit._ She took a deep breath and forwarded them all to Mercedes and Lina with a short message: "Lina, keep tabs on this please, so it doesn't get out of hand. Cedes, I told you and you'll personally pay Lina for any overtime she has to put in cleaning up your mess." There weren't any urgent messages to take care of, mostly reports from her office on how things were going. She liked to stay on top of everything so there wouldn't be any surprises. After clearing out her inbox because she hated seeing that bold notification for new email, she noticed her phone was buzzing.

When she looked at the ID she debated on whether she should answer it or not. She was in no mood to talk about the Shuesters' party and she knew that was the only reason her friend was calling, but at the same time she needed to vent so why the hell not? She took a deep breath and answered the phone.

**Don't tell me I have to bail you out again, Puckerman.**

_Haha, not a chance Lopez, I'm a reformed man now._

**Yeah, right! I'll believe it when I see it... so what's up?**

_Just wanted to see how you were holding up, we didn't get a chance to say goodbye before you guys took off._

**I went to pick up Sophia and hung out with my mom. Are you still in Lima?**

_I'm taking my bike to the shop in the morning to get it checked out before riding back to Boston._

**I can't believe you took your bike, that's like a 13 hour drive, right?**

_Usually, but I did it in 10 hours... I'm taking my time going back, though, I was thinking of making some stops along the way._

**Are you planning on coming to New York?**

_That's part of why I'm calling, I didn't get to see my baby girl while you were here, and I got a present for her._

**Ugh, please Puck don't give her another leather jacket ok? I had to hide it all summer long cause she wanted to wear it every day and I didn't want her to die of heatstroke.**

_Don't worry, I promise it's not a leather jacket... But she's my niece and I'm crazy about her, so I can't help getting her cool stuff._

**Fine, but I get final approval before you give it to her!**

_Haha, no way Lopez, this ain't about you, this is between me and Sophie Mayhem_

**Oh God... all right Puckerman, but you're staying the hell away from her when she hits puberty because I don't want her to come home from a visit with you with a tramp stamp on.**

_We'll talk about it when the time is right... So how are you, really?_

Santana let out a sigh.

**I don't know Puck. I don't know how I am. Part of me wants to kick her ass, another part wants to just run away and pretend it never happened, the Snixx in me is furious and livid and wants to confront her and make her cry and another part just wants to hold her. So I don't fucking know.**

_Yeah I figured... It was a ballsy move showing up just like that. She called me today, asked if we could get together._

_Puck's tone was casual, but Santana knew he was just waiting to see how she'd react. She tried to keep her voice neutral._

_**Have fun, then.** _

_If you want me to tell her to back off, I will._

_**Look, I can't worry about this right now. Sophia has school tomorrow and I have to fix Mercedes' stunt. Just do whatever you want Puck, you do that anyways.** _

_Didn't mean to get Snixx on the line, but you know I love you. I'll call you when I'm in New York. Later Lopez._

_**Later Puckerman.** _

Santana took a deep breath as she put her phone down. She knew her friends were worried about her, but she didn't like how they all knew her so well. I can't do this right now. She closed her laptop a little harder than she meant to, and went downstairs to get some tea. She normally didn't like to take pills, but she knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep today without a little pharmaceutical help.

The pill worked its magic, and Santana slept all night. She was woken up by her alarm at 6 am, took a quick shower and went to wake up Sophia to start their day. She left Sophia at her school and went to the office. When she drove into her designated spot, she killed the engine and took a minute to regroup before walking in. It was just another Monday, but at the same time it was so much more than that. It was the start of a new era in her life, an era that had new memories of the blonde in it. And she needed to walk past it and continue kicking ass her own way. She couldn't help but remember another moment in her life when she felt a new era starting.

* * *

_Sophomore year_

It's a new school year, and the first day jitters couldn't be more different for Santana. Last year she was nervous because she was starting at a new school and didn't really know anyone. This year, she's starting with the ultimate status symbol: A Cheerios uniform and a star football player. She carefully arranges her ponytail before kissing her parents goodbye and walking out of the house, where Puck is waiting to walk to school together. When they get to school, Puck walks off to greet his football friends and throw some kids in dumpsters, and Santana rushes over to wait for Quinn and Brittany at their lockers. She has perfected the Cheerio strut: Head held high, arched back, eyes locked on a distant dot, not really looking at anyone. Halfway through the hall, she hears Coach Sue yelling.

"CHARO, in my office." Santana doesn't skip a beat, she just turns around and walks straight to Sue's office and sits down. Sue is by the door. "Wait here." She leaves again and Santana is left to nervously jig her leg.

After a few minutes, Sue walks in with Quinn and Brittany in tow. Santana's face breaks into a huge smile as her friends sit down to either side of her. Sue sits down behind her desk and reclines all the way back, staring at them.

"Alright, as you are all well aware, Brandy graduated, so now I have no Head Cheerio. We have tryouts this Friday so that means I have four days to make a decision."

The girls all look at each other, not really knowing what is happening. Quinn takes a deep breath and plasters on her best Quinn smile.

"Well Coach Sylvester, I know we are only sophomores, but I am willing to bet that you won't find a more suitable candidate than me. With Brittany and Santana's help, we can steer the Cheerios into even greater things and make sure to live up to the competition standards we are accustomed to."

"I don't doubt that, Q. You remind me of a young Sue Sylvester, except for the eyes. So here's the deal. I am making you Head Cheerio on a trial basis. Let's see how you handle the squad in the next few months and if you're really up to it. And you two. You'll be second in charge and I expect great things from you. Do not disappoint me. Understood?"

All three girls nod, and Sue dismisses them from the office. The girls wait until they get to the bathroom to scream and jump around, celebrating this new achievement. Santana is happy for Quinn, as she told her, but she is also disappointed it hadn't been her. Why? Why had Sue chosen Quinn over her? Was it because she was blonde? At least, she argued, she was still at the top and now they had more power to rule over the school.

During the next few days, everyone in the school knew about the new HC, and treated the girls with even more deference. Puck decides to throw a party in his basement that Saturday, and starts to plan it all out.

That Friday after tryouts, Brittany comes over to Santana in the locker room after everyone left. Santana is packing her bag, as Brittany sits on the bench beside her.

"Hey San."

Santana smiles and zips her bag. "Hi, what do you think of our new Cheerios?"

Brittany shrugs. "They're alright I guess, it was their first practice so they were probably very nervous. I remember I was a mess that first day, too."

Santana chuckles. "Yeah, me too. It was all a big blur, really."

"Except for the part where you helped me with my initials." Brittany nudges Santana, who blushes slightly.

"I do remember that…"

"so, um, do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

Santana furrows her brow. "Not really, why?"

"Well, Jeff asked me out on a date, but I don't want to go alone, so I was wondering if you could come with Puck, so you can stop me from saying something stupid."

"Stop Britt, you don't say stupid things, you know that…"

Brittany half smiles. "People laugh at me sometimes when I speak, and I don't want that to happen again."

"Well, it won't, cause I'll beat anyone who dares to laugh at you, Britt. And don't ever think that what you say is stupid ok? Cause I think you're pretty smart."

Brittany looks up at Santana, and her blue eyes are welling up. Santana reaches out to her friend and puts her arms around her. Brittany could only whisper a small "thanks" into Santana's hair. When they let go, Santana wipes Brittany's eyes with her thumb.

"So where are we meeting the boys?"

After a quick text to Puck, who readily agrees, the girls go to Brittany's house to get ready for dinner. They meet the boys at a burger joint and sit in a booth by the corner.

Jeff is a linebacker on the football team, so he's tall and well built. He has reddish hair, dark eyes and a leering smile that always makes Santana feel uneasy. Luckily, the boys are deep in conversation about the game, which gives Santana a chance to relax and look away from Beefy Jeff.

Brittany leans in to speak to her. "He's sort of cute, right?"

Santana gives him a cursory once over and shrugs. "He's alright for the moment, Britt. But you can do much better." She looks at the blonde shyly, and senses a blush creeping up her neck. She's thankful her tanned skin hides it, but she knows Brittany noticed, because the blonde smiles and playfully nudges her with her shoulder while whispering "thanks, San".

They hear a wolf whistle from Jeff, who turns to the girls while stretching on the booth. "Hey, you girls ever think about making out?" He raises an eyebrow and smiles that leering smile that makes Santana squirm in her seat. Brittany just chuckles and looks away, while Puck looks interested.

Santana recovers and straightens up. "Keep dreaming Beefy, you couldn't handle two girls making out, you'd ruin your good pants." She crosses her arms as Jeff and Puck look speechless. When the food comes, they dive in and eat in silence for a while, until Puck mentions something about a football game and the boys start talking again. Santana is forcing the food down her throat while trying to look unconcerned, but Jeff's comment keeps replaying in her mind. She nearly jumps out of her skin when Brittany lays a delicate hand on her knee under the table and rubs her thumb while glancing sideways at the Latina, concern in her eyes. Santana looks at her, relaxes her brow and starts chewing exaggeratedly to make Brittany laugh. With Brittany's hand on her knee for the rest of the meal, Santana feels considerably more relaxed, Jeff's comment now forgotten as her heart fills with gratitude for the blonde, who noticed her mood change when no one else did. It was the first moment she felt something inside her shifting, opening her heart without even realizing she was doing it to the tall blonde girl with the sparkly blue eyes.

* * *

_Present Day, 1 month later_

Thursday nights were beef stew nights for Santana and Sophia. This particular Thursday, Santana had spent the last 3 hours arguing with Freddy Leone, the up and coming actor, who Santana had just discovered had a pretty bad drug addiction. Santana wanted him on rehab ASAP or she would dump his ass, and Freddy was adamant that a little coke and weed here and there never hurt anyone so she should chill. His manager was also there, trying to diffuse the situation because he knew that having Santana Lopez as his publicist would do wonders for Freddy's career. In the end, they had reached a compromise: Freddy would lay off the coke and only smoke weed for the next month, and Santana would try to get him a part in an HBO series that was rumored to be the next Game of Thrones. Santana wasn't happy and she  _knew_ Freddy would turn to coke again, but there wasn't anything else she could do at this point. She vowed that after getting him the stint in the HBO show, she'd drop out of their deal, whatever it cost.

When she got to Sophia's school, she was fuming, but seeing her little one bounce up and down as she raced to give her a hug always put work in the back burner. "Hola, mi amor!" She hugged Sophia and peppered kisses all over her face as Sophia giggled. "Mamiiiiiiiiii, llegaste!" Santana took Sophia's backpack, spent a few minutes talking to her teacher, then buckled Sophia in the back seat and started the car, Sophia rattling on excitedly about her day.

"And then during picture time, Ms. Brenda said that we were going to start dance classes next week! And I drew a picture of us dancing like we do at tías Quinn y Rachel's and Ms. Brenda said I was going to be a natural in the class and then Joel spilled glue on his picture and he  _cried_." She finished her story dramatically, waiting to see Santana's reaction to the news of Joel crying. Santana raised her eyebrows in mock shock as she looked at Sophia in the rearview mirror. "And what did you do when Joel cried?"

Sophia looked out the window and shrugged. "Nothing, really, I just looked at him and then kicked Crissy under the table when she started to laugh at him."

"Why did you kick her, mija?"

"Because she was being mean, ma, and you said I can't let anyone be mean to my friends." Sophia looked back at Santana, who involuntarily smiled.

"That's true mija, you shouldn't let anyone be mean to your friends, but you shouldn't have kicked Crissy either, you should've used your words instead."

Sophia inhaled as she frowned, deep in thought. "I guess you're right mommy." She let out a long sigh before perking up and clapping her hands, as she remembered something else. "Mom! Today is Thursday!"  
Santana nodded and smiled. "Yes it is, Sophe."

"That means it's beef stew night!" Sophia started doing a little dance that made Santana laugh.

"Exactly, beef stew night, here we come!"

"Can we have it in bread bowls like we had it that time?" Sophia looked at Santana with her big hazel eyes sparkling.  _Shit, I never should've gotten those bread bowls…_

A few Thursdays ago, Santana had been in the grocery store before picking up Sophia and she had seen these huge bread rolls and remembered when once at Brittany's house they had eaten beef stew in bread bowls and how good they had tasted. She decided to take them home and try it out and Sophia had liked it so much she had been asking for bread bowls ever since. She had been able to thwart it the past few weeks thinking Sophia would forget, but it was obvious the girl had a one track mind.  _Just like me, damn…_ Santana chuckled as she nodded again.

"Ok mija, we can have bread bowls, that means we have to stop at the grocery store real quick." Sophia let out a squeal as she continued her little dance, moving in time with the music, so Santana turned up the radio to let Sophia let loose.

15 minutes later, Santana was pulling up to the grocery store. Sophia went to grab a cart, but Santana shook her head. "Not today Sophie, we are only getting bread bowls, so we don't need a cart, we just need a basket, like this one!" She picked up a shopping basket and presented it to Sophia, who looked back at the cart, dejected. "So no sitting in the cart?"

"No, not this time. But you can carry the basket if you want…" Sophia smiled and grabbed the big basket, holding it up with both hands with her tongue out. Santana laughed. "If it's too heavy I can carry it Sophia."

Sophia shook her head as she grunted. "I got it, ma." Santana rolled her eyes and put her hand behind Sophia's back to lead her into the store.  _She's SO my daughter…_

After they got the bread rolls, Santana remembered a couple more things she needed, so to Sophia's delight, she let her grab a cart and sat her in it, with the bread rolls firmly in her grasp. Santana was letting Sophia pick the cereal for the week when she heard a very familiar voice behind her that gave her chills.

"Santana?"

Santana gripped the cart furiously and closed her eyes as if she'd been knocked in the head. It couldn't be. She turned around and couldn't process the familiar blue eyes sparkling right at her. Brittany was carrying a half-full basket in one elbow and had a box of Crunch Berries in her hands. She was darting her eyes from Santana to Sophia and twisting her ankle. Sophia was looking curiously at this stranger and looking back at her mom confused at what was happening. Santana shook her head and cleared her throat before finding her voice.

"Um, hi, what – um, what are you—?"

Brittany took a tentative step forward and put the cereal box in her basket.

"I, uh, I just moved here a week ago…" She looked at Sophia and smiled. "Hi."

Sophia looked at Brittany and raised her eyebrows, a gesture so familiar to Brittany, she couldn't help but chuckle.

Santana composed herself. "Um, Sophia, this is um Brittany." A beat. "A friend of mine." Sophia looked at her mom and then at Brittany. "Sophia, what do you say?"

Sophia started wringing her wrists as she took a deep breath. "Nice to meet you."

Brittany smiled and crouched so she was at eye level with Sophia. "It's nice to meet you too, Sophia. Has anyone told you that you look exactly like your mom? I like your hair." Sophia blushed.

Santana gave her a little nudge. "Thank you." Sophia then extended a hand to touch Brittany's hair. "I like your hair, too."

Now it was Brittany's turn to blush. "Why, thank you!" Brittany straightened up and looked at Santana, who was still trying to figure out the situation. Brittany glanced at their cart and smiled. "Bread rolls?"

Santana smiled back, as Sophia nodded and chimed in. "It's Thursday! We have beef stew on Thursdays and mommy said we could have bread bowls."

Brittany laughed and Santana felt her heart climb up to her throat. "Can't believe you still do that…"

Sophia looked confused. "Do what?"

Santana turned to her daughter. "Um, it was Brittany's mom who taught me how to make beef stew, and she used to make it every Thursday, too."

Sophia let out an "oh…" and looked up at Brittany. "Do you still have Thursday beef stew in your house?"

Brittany crouched back to look at Sophia. "When I go home to see my mom, we have beef stew on Thursdays, too. But I don't live with my mom like you do, and I never learned how to make it, so I have something else on Thursdays."

Sophia scrunched up her face, deep in thought for a moment. She then pulled on Santana's sleeve so she could whisper in her ear. "Can we give her some beef stew, mom?" Her whisper carried through to Brittany who froze looking up at an equally startled Santana.

Santana turned to her daughter. "Um, not today mija, maybe some other time, ok?"

Brittany tried to hide the look of disappointment, but Santana saw it. Sophia frowned. "But  _today_ is Thursday…"

"Sophia, not today, I'm sure Brittany already has plans." She looked pointedly at Brittany who quickly nodded.

"Um, yeah, I can't today Sophie, sorry."

Sophia shrugged and said "okay."

Santana turned to leave but stopped. "Uh, guess I'll see you around?"

Brittany nodded, trying to fight back tears. "Yeah, um, take care, ok?" She then turned to Sophia and waved. "Bye Ms. Sophia!"

Sophia waved back and smiled. "Bye!" Santana wheeled the cart around and didn't stop until she got to the register. She let out the breath she had been holding in and willed her hands to stop shaking. Sophia looked up at her mom with concern. "Estás bien, mami?"

Santana swallowed hard. "Si, estoy bien, don't worry, baby." She forced a smile. "Wanna help me put the stuff in the counter?" Sophia nodded and started passing the items to Santana.

It took them twice as long as usual to get back home because Santana couldn't focus on the road, her mind still swimming with her encounter with Brittany.  _God, what is she doing here? I thought she'd go back to wherever after the Shuester's thing. Fuck._ When she got home, she went into auto pilot, cooking dinner with Sophia, eating their bread bowls while listening more about Joey crying during picture time, giving her a bath while singing and finally cuddling in the couch watching a movie until she could feel Sophia slide into a deep sleep. She carried her daughter to her bed and tucked her in, watching her for a few minutes. Santana then traipsed back to the kitchen and took out a beer from the fridge. She normally didn't drink during the week, but what the hell, she needed to unwind. She flopped down on the couch and channel surfed until finally stopping at a Friends' rerun. She didn't know how to feel about seeing Brittany, or at the knowledge that she lived a hell of a lot closer than freaking Australia. She picked up her phone, looked at the time and decided it wasn't too late to call Quinn.

**Awake?**

_Sure, just put the boys to bed. What's up?_

**You won't believe who I just ran into at the grocery store…**

_Celebrity?_

**Nope, blast from the past. Fucking floored me, too.**

_No idea, San._

**Brittany.**

A beat.

_Oh_

**That's all you have to fucking say? Oh?**

Santana could hear Quinn squirming and readjusting her position.

_Well, now, don't get mad at me, but I sort of knew Brittany was moving here._

Santana had to control herself not to scream out and wake up Sophia.

**Quinn. What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Saying.**

_We've sort of kept in touch after the Shuesters' party, and she mentioned that she was thinking about moving here and opening up a dance studio, so I guess she did._

**Why the hell didn't you tell me something? Jesus, you could've given me a heads up or something, Quinn!**

_I had no idea it was gonna be so soon San, and you said that you didn't want to know anything about her, so I figured –_

**FUCK Quinn!**

_Look, don't go all Snixx on me ok? You're a big girl now, and so is she. I'm SURE New York is big enough to accommodate both of you. Just because she's in the same city doesn't mean you have to see her if you don't want to ok? Next time you're at the grocery store just be on the lookout for blondes._

**Real fucking funny, Fabray. Just do me a favor and DON'T talk to her about my life. I can't deal with that right now.**

Quinn let out a breath, happy that Santana was calming down a bit.

_Seems fair, I promise I won't._

**And pass along the request to your dwarf, ok? She has the biggest mouth after Trouty, and if I find out she's been talking to her about me, you'll be stuck raising two boys on your own.**

Quinn rolled her eyes.

_I'll tell Rachel, don't worry._

**Good. I gotta go.**

_I'll call you tomorrow and maybe we can get together for lunch or something._

**Yeah, whatever Q, bye.**

Santana clicked off her phone and dropped it on the couch. She took another swig of her beer before getting up and going to her bedroom. She undressed and stood under the hot shower for a while, letting the warm water fall on her shoulders and take away some of the stress. It wasn't working. She climbed out of the shower, threw on her terry cloth robe and went out on her balcony, reveling on the warm breeze. She lit up a cigarette and leaned on the banister, deep in thought. She thought back on the last real conversation she had with Brittany so many years ago, after graduation. They were both in Santana's room; they had just made love and were cuddling in bed, Santana happily resting her head on Brittany's shoulder while the blonde caressed her arm.

_"Britt, I think we need to talk about something."_

_Brittany let out a sigh. "Is this about Lord Tubbington cheating on Lady Tubbington?"_

_Santana frowned. "No, Britt, I want to talk about_ us. _" She straightened up and sat crossed legged facing Brittany. "Um, you know I'm leaving for Columbia in a week, and you have that dance program in Sidney next month." Brittany nodded. "And so far we've gone on like nothing's gonna change, but, the truth is that_ everything  _is gonna change now. We're gonna be so far apart, Britt." Santana reached out to hold Brittany's hand, who was still looking at her with a frown._

_"I don't understand, San, what are you saying?"_

_Santana squeezed Brittany's hand and took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that were threatening to come out at any moment. "I'm saying I'm scared, Britt. I'm scared of what's gonna happen to us, to this." She pointed between both of them and Brittany stood up straighter, caressing Santana's arm again._

_"I'm scared, too. But I think it's a good scared." Santana's eyebrows shot up. "See, we're going to be learning new stuff and in a new city, and that's scary but also exciting. And it's gonna suck not having you there with me, but I love you so much that you're always with me." Brittany smiled at the Latina._

_"I love you so much, too Britt. But what happens if I lose you?" Santana's voice cracked at the end of that sentence and she couldn't fight the tears anymore. She started sobbing and Brittany hurried forward to hug her. Santana sunk her face into Brittany's shoulder and got lost in her embrace, where she had always felt safe. Brittany started moving her hand up and down Santana's back whispering comforting things in her ear and letting the Latina cry. "Shhh, San, let it all out babe, I'm here. Shhh" After a few minutes, Santana cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. She snuggled closer to Brittany and buried her head in the crook of the blonde's arm. Brittany kissed the top of her head._

_"San, we're gonna be ok. You'll go kick ass at Columbia and I'll go dance like crazy in Sidney and it'll all work itself out. We love each other and you know that I believe that because of that, anything is possible." Santana just nodded and tried to get even closer to Brittany, whispering "I love you" against the blonde's chest over and over._

_They slept in each other's arms that night, neither of them really sleeping, but neither wanting to break the spell by talking. In the morning, they said good bye at the door and Santana kissed Brittany like she hadn't kissed her before, wanting to say things with the kiss that she couldn't bring her voice to say. They whispered "I love you" to each other and Brittany cupped Santana's cheek and smiled a sad smile before turning around and getting in her car. Santana watched the car disappear in the distance and then sunk to her knees and disappeared amidst racking sobs. Maribel came rushing when she heard Santana cry and just kneeled beside her daughter and held her. "She's gone, ma, I lost her." Santana had no idea why she said it, it was just a feeling she had. Maribel tried to comfort her, kissing her head and stroking her arm._ _"No pienses eso, mi niña, todo va a estar bien. You'll be ok, mi amor, you haven't lost her."_

Snapping back to reality, Santana exhaled slowly. "But I did lose her…" She was crying, but couldn't remember when it started. Her heart still ached when she thought about that day, and now it ached again knowing that Brittany was back in her life, one way or another, and she didn't know what was going to happen, or if she actually wanted her in her life. She stubbed out the cigarette and got in bed. But it took her a few hours to finally fall asleep.


	8. Toddlers And Their Woes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, so, we're changing POVs here, so keep an eye out for the titles!

 

** _Quinn_ **

**Awake?**

_Sure, just put the boys to bed. What's up?_

**You won't believe who I just ran into at the grocery store…**

_Celebrity?_

**Nope, blast from the past. Fucking floored me, too.**

_No idea, San._

**Brittany.**

A beat.

_Oh_

**That's all you have to fucking say? Oh?**

Santana could hear Quinn squirming and readjusting her position.

_Well, now, don't get mad at me, but I sort of knew Brittany was moving here._

Santana had to control herself not to scream out and wake up Sophia.

**Quinn. What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Saying.**

_We've sort of kept in touch after the Shuesters' party, and she mentioned that she was thinking about moving here and opening up a dance studio, so I guess she did._

**Why the hell didn't you tell me something? Jesus, you could've given me a heads up or something, Quinn!**

_I had no idea it was gonna be so soon San, and you said that you didn't want to know anything about her, so I figured –_

**FUCK Quinn!**

_Look, don't go all Snixx on me ok? You're a big girl now, and so is she. I'm SURE New York is big enough to accommodate both of you. Just because she's in the same city doesn't mean you have to see her if you don't want to ok? Next time you're at the grocery store just be on the lookout for blondes._

**Real fucking funny, Fabray. Just do me a favor and DON'T talk to her about my life. I can't deal with that right now.**

Quinn let out a breath, happy that Santana was calming down a bit.

_Seems fair, I promise I won't._

**And pass along the request to your dwarf, ok? She has the biggest mouth after Trouty, and if I find out she's been talking to her about me, you'll be stuck raising two boys on your own.**

Quinn rolled her eyes.

_I'll tell Rachel, don't worry._

**Good. I gotta go.**

_I'll call you tomorrow and maybe we can get together for lunch or something._

**Yeah, whatever Q, bye.**

Quinn clicked her phone with a sigh and set it on the coffee table in front of her. She leaned back on the beige couch and started massaging the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed. Rachel walked in after doing the dishes and immediately sensed something was wrong. She sat down next to her wife and motioned for the blonde to rest her head on her lap and started drawing circles on her temples.

"What happened, love?"

Quinn shook her head a little, while caressing Rachel's knee with her right hand. She still had her eyes closed. "Santana just had a run in with Brittany at the grocery store and called to bitch about it."

Rachel furrowed her brow. "Wait, she didn't know Britt was moving here?"

"No, and I didn't know how to tell her."

"Well love, you know that's not your job, right? If Britt had wanted her to know, she would've told her herself."

Quinn opened her eyes to look at her wife and saw the tiny brunette looking down to her with those pressed lips and lifted brows that always meant "you know I'm right." She couldn't help but chuckle and run her free hand over the pursed lips before answering softly. "I know, I know. She's a big girl and she can certainly handle it. I hope they finally get a chance to talk, though."

Rachel kissed her wife's fingers caressing her face. "I hope so too. But you and I know better than anyone that things have a way of working out if they are meant to. So stop stressing about Santana and Britt, we all know they are bound to be together."

Quinn lifted her head to kiss Rachel softly on the lips. She marveled at the hint of cinnamon ever present on her wife's lips. Quinn used her hands to cup her wife's face and deepened the kiss, lazily exploring that mouth she fell in love with 12 years ago. Rachel let Quinn take control of the kiss, rearranging her wife so she'd be straddling her. Quinn broke the kiss. "I feel like I'm crushing you."

Rachel chuckled and squeezed her wife's bottom. "No way, baby, you feel just right." She smiled at the blushing blonde and kissed her again. Quinn's hands dropped to Rachel's hips and she started lifting the hem of her shirt, pushing with her thumb on the tiny brunette's hip bone the way she liked it. Rachel moaned into Quinn's mouth and dug her nails in her back, causing Quinn to instinctively move forward. The blonde started kissing down her wife's neck, trailing her pulse point and going up all the way to her earlobe. She circled Rachel's ear with her tongue before using her raspiest voice.

"Let's go upstairs, hotstuff."

Rachel hoisted her wife up and giggled as she led Quinn by the hand towards their bedroom. When they got to the bedroom, Rachel locked the door and before she could turn around, Quinn pressed her front to the tiny brunette's back and started kissing her shoulder while her hands roamed her wife's body. Rachel used her right hand to grope her way towards Quinn's behind and push her towards her. Rachel was biting her lip and moaning softly as Quinn's hands undid her pants and pushed her hand inside. When she reached her destination, Rachel whispered "fuck" and clung closely to the blonde. Quinn used her free hand to take off Rachel's shirt and flung it to the side. Rachel had one hand on Quinn's ass, squeezing as she felt the pressure in her own pants and the other hand on the wall in front of her as support. Quinn felt the brunette's pulse quicken and her shoulders tense up. She ignored the cramping on her hand and continued playing with that nub she loved so much. Rachel started rubbing against the front of her skirt and Quinn could feel her own core heating up more and more. She used her free hand to push down on Rachel's lower pelvis the way she knew would send her off the edge. A few seconds later, Rachel shuddered and released the tension in her shoulders as she felt her orgasm pulse through her body. Quinn continued her hand movements until Rachel completely relaxed and pressed against her, letting out a contented sigh. Quinn removed her hand and licked her fingers slowly while swaying with Rachel, tasting her wife and feeling her own pulse quicken. Rachel then turned around and kissed Quinn passionately, while moving her backwards towards the bed. She became more aroused when she tasted herself on the blonde's lips. She used her hands to quickly unbutton Quinn's dress and slid it down her body. The blonde helped her take off her pants and underwear. When they got to the bed, Rachel laid on top of her wife and started kissing down her neck while massaging her breasts. She was rocking back and forth against Quinn's core, making her dig her nails down the brunette's back. They both froze in place as they heard a soft knock on the door.

"Momma?"

Both women pressed their foreheads together and whispered "fuck." Quinn cleared her throat and called out. "Yes Chris, what's wrong?"

"I don't feel well..." Rachel kissed her wife's nose and straightened up, as Quinn made a face.

"I'll be right there kiddo." She pushed herself up and kissed Rachel on the lips. "This is so not fair."

Rachel smirked and moved towards her side of the bed to let the blonde get up. "No it's not, but he always wants you when he's sick."

Quinn quickly put her pajamas on and washed her hands before leaving their bedroom. Rachel was squirming naked under the sheets.

"This isn't over, you know."

Rachel winked. "I'll wait up for ya."

Quinn went to the twins' room and found Chris on his side on top of the bed, quietly sobbing, and Luke sound asleep on the other side of the room. Quinn sat on Chris's bed and the little boy quickly scooted closer to his momma. She kissed his forehead, checking for a fever. "What's wrong bug?"

"My tummy hurts. I didn't want to tell mom cause I don't want her to think it's her cooking." Quinn chuckled. Their boy was so considerate.

"Good idea. So tell me where it hurts."

Chris pointed towards his bellybutton. "Right here. It squishes."

"Ok bug, I'm gonna go down to the kitchen and make you some tea so your tummy calms down, ok?"

Chris held his momma tighter. "No, don't leave me, it hurts less with you here..."

Quinn smiled at Chris's pout. It was identical to her wife's. "You need something warm for your belly to help. Why don't you come with me? We'll take it real slow, ok?"

Chris thought for a second and nodded. Quinn lifted his head carefully and helped him get up. She put a comforter over him and they walked slowly down to the kitchen. She made Chris lay down on the couch while the water boiled. She added some honey to the tea and brought it over to Chris, who moved sideways so Quinn could sit down. She made him lean on her chest as he slowly drank his tea. When he finished, she set the cup down on the coffee table.

"Feeling better, bug?"

"A little, thank you momma."

"Do you want to go back to bed or do you wanna stay here for a bit?"

"Can you tell me a story?"

"Sure, what story do you want to hear?"

Chris looked towards the stairs, checking that no one was coming. Then he whispered: "The one about the boy and the butterfly."

Quinn smiled. It was his favorite story, but Luke always groaned when Chris asked to hear it, so he only made Quinn tell it when they were alone.

"Of course. C'mere, let's get comfy." She laid on the couch behind Chris, who rested his head on his momma's arm. She covered both of them with the comforter.

"There once was a boy who lived on a farm. He loved to run through the flower fields and lay looking at the stars in the middle of the grasslands. One day, he found a beautiful butterfly resting on a flower. She was the most incredible butterfly the boy had ever seen, with very vivid colors. But there was something wrong. The butterfly couldn't fly away because she was injured. The boy gently took her in his hand and caressed it. Don't worry butterfly, I will help you heal, he said. So the boy took the butterfly back to his house and made a little home for it with grass and pollen. For the days to come, the boy took care of the butterfly and spent every moment he could speaking to her and sharing his world. One day, the boy awoke to a soft caress on his nose. It was the butterfly. She could finally fly again! The boy was very happy to see the butterfly fluttering around him. But then he grew sad, because he knew it meant the butterfly was now leaving. I know you have to leave now, my friend. But I want you to know I will never forget you. However, the butterfly didn't fly away. It stayed with the boy, and they ran through the flower fields together and lay at night looking at the starry sky. The boy grew to love his beautiful butterfly. One day, the boy became ill and bedridden. His parents were very worried that he would not make it through the night. The faithful butterfly stayed with him, next to his ear, whispering loving words in her special butterfly language. When the boy closed his eyes that night, he felt himself running again over the flower fields. Only he wasn't running. He was flying! As he looked to the side, he saw his beautiful butterfly smiling at him, motioning for him to take her little butterfly hand and fly off together. The boy smiled as wide as he had ever smiled, and feeling no pain followed the butterfly towards a bright star in the sky."

Quinn looked down and saw Chris half asleep, a smile on his face. She kissed the back of his head. She could still remember the first time she had heard that story. It was in college, in her Latin-American folk literature class. She had fallen in love with it and had shared it instantly with Rachel when she got home. Every night she used to tell it to the boys so they'd go to sleep and Luke would instantly fall asleep, but Chris would stay up, silently crying because he thought it was sad. When Quinn asked him if he wanted her to tell a different story, he shook his head and said he liked it, even if it made him a little sad.

She carefully got up and carried Chris up to his room. She tucked him in and left a glass of water on his nightstand. She gave him a kiss on the forehead, kissed and retucked Luke in and closed their door quietly. She went back to her bedroom and saw with a smile that Rachel had fallen asleep half covered by the comforter. Quinn removed her pajamas and climbed in bed, snuggling closer to her wife, who stirred. Quinn gave her a quick peck on the lips before tucking her arm under the tiny brunette's head. Rachel automatically slung an arm and a leg over Quinn and pulled her close.

"I love you Q." Rachel's eyes were still closed and her words were slurred, but Quinn could see the smile on that beautiful face. She kissed the top of her head and whispered "I love you too" before closing her eyes and falling into a contented sleep.

* * *

**Brittany**

I don't even remember paying for my groceries. I just remember watching Santana walk away pushing her cart with a beautiful mini Santana on it. Sophia. I knew she had a daughter, but I had never even seen pictures of her. She's so beautiful, just like her mom. One of my favorite pictures of Santana is of her in her ballerina outfit when she was 5 years old. She's smiling that wide carefree smile I like so much. I remember she gave it to me one day, she randomly attached it to one of the weekend letters we used to write to each other. I still have that picture in an album I carry with me everywhere I go.

I'm in my car. Did I put the groceries in the trunk? I get out and look. Nope. I left them on the floor. Crap. I open the trunk and put the bags in. I can't drive like this, so I just get back in the car and close my eyes. I certainly didn't think I'd run into her at some random place. I thought I would get settled and then ask Quinn or Mercedes to have like a party or something and I could go and then we could see each other. This isn't how this was supposed to happen. But yeah, well, nothing has worked out so far, so it shouldn't surprise me that much. She looks so good. But there's no spark in her eyes. Or maybe that's cause she was looking at me? I don't know, I certainly don't want to think that's what it is.

But Sophia opened up to me and she even invited me over! I think it's sweet she gets Thursday Beef Stew. That was our favorite night, too. I shake my head, trying to focus on the now. I grab the steering wheel with both hands and take a few deep breaths. I turn my iPod on. Big mistake, since Sara Melson coms on and I feel the tears flowing as I sing along

_One day I didn't have a care_   
_Except my picture in the mirror and the color of my hair_   
_I sang along to records about tomorrow_   
_Now my hands are worn, my clothes are torn_   
_A few of my dreams have been met with scorn_   
_And I don't have too much time left to borrow_

_But still I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_   
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_   
_Love you like I've never been hurt,_   
_Wanna start all over and know what it's worth_   
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_

_Your stubborn independence_   
_Reminds me of myself_   
_It doesn't make a lot of sense_   
_It isn't very good for health_   
_I know you want to be alone_   
_But I sure like talking on the phone_   
_And I've finally left my carry-on bag behind me_

_Yeah I'm going to love you like I've never been hurt before_   
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_   
_Love you like I've never been hurt_   
_We can start all over and know what it's worth_   
_I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_

I close my eyes and her image is dancing in front of me. I can't help it. I take a swig of my water bottle, wipe my eyes carefully and drive out of the lot at 5 miles an hour.

When I get to my small apartment, I put my groceries away and flop on my couch. I turn on the TV just to have some background noise on and open my mailbox on my laptop for something to do. I need to keep moving, to keep functioning, because if I stop I know I'll start thinking about her and her smile and the hurt in her eyes and then I won't be able to do anything else. I read a couple of encouraging work mails, one is from Jake, a fellow dancer and choreographer who has a well-known studio here in New York. We met on tour a few years back and we've kept in touch. When I told him I was in New York and my plans, he helped me by giving me a few key names and contact information. He says he recommended me for a teaching position in one of the most prestigious pre-schools in the area, and that's the jump start I need. I quickly reply my thanks and check that the school already emailed me acknowledging that they received my application. This is cool! I feel like the wheels are... moving? the engine started? something like that, I know there's a saying but I can't remember. The point is: It's starting!

And now I have something else to focus on for the time being, while I figure out what to do with the S-shaped hole inside. I decide that my first course of action is getting back in touch with some friends. I get my phone out and quickly type out a text. I feel energized, so I get up and get a bowl of cereal. It's nighttime, but what the hell, I'll have breakfast at night. When I bring my cereal back to the couch and flip to some old cartoons, my phone does that pinging sound.

**Hi stranger! What's up?**

I readjust my legs and think of what to reply. I smile as I type.

_Just relaxing in my New York apartment, no big deal_

That should do it. Ha! I would give anything to see the look in that dumbstruck face right now! In no time at all, my phone dings again.

**Whaaaaaaaaat? And I am just finding out about this?**

_Well we didn't have much time to talk in Lima, so I figured we would have more time now that I'm here! Can we get some lunch or something tomorrow? You're the one with the crazy schedule right now..._

I anxiously await an answer. It's been a really long time since we've sat down and talked and I really need a friend who understands all of this.

**Definitely, I'm gonna be in the studio filming, so come by and we can grab something near here. I'll text you the address tomorrow cause I don't really know it.**

Typical. I quickly accept and eat my cereal happily. Scooby-Doo is going into a creepy looking house with Shaggy, and that takes all of my attention.

* * *

I decide to walk to the studio, since I hear it's actually faster. I find it in no time and a receptionist greets me with a smile. I say I'm waiting for a friend, I give her the floor number and she points me towards the elevator. When I get off at the 5th floor, I see this blonde mass running towards me. He hugs me and lifts me off the ground as he spins me around the hallway. I laugh. He's so silly sometimes!

"Britt! My sister from another mister! I can't believe you're really here!" He's wearing his signature fluffy cardigan, this one is blue with little rockets on it. His hair is still the same messy mass of blonde it always was, and his smile is so full of warmth I almost can't believe it.

"Well, believe it Sam! I'm so glad to see you. You look great!"

His sheepish grin shows up, and he shrugs. "Yeah well, the cardigans are a little itchy but I got used to it. Listen, I can't really go anywhere cause we're not done yet, but I ordered some take out and it's in my dressing room, do you mind if we eat here?"

I take his arm as he starts walking. "Not at all, I just wanted to be with you."

"Same here." He smiles again and he starts introducing me to all the people involved in his show. He opens the door to a very airy room with a comfy black couch, a big screen tv with 6 different videogame consoles and a bed in the back. There are different pictures of his show on the walls, pictures of him smiling wearing various fluffy cardigans and all with the same headline: "The Samtastic Show" When I first saw it 6 years ago, I knew he had picked the name himself.

We sit on the couch in front of what look like a million Chinese food containers. He sits on an armchair in front of me and grabs the nearest container to inspect its contents. Satisfied with his choice, he starts eating as he looks me up and down. Amused, I follow his lead and pick the sweet pork and wait for him to say something.

"When Mercedes told me you were coming to New York I wasn't sure if it was true or not."

"How did Mercedes know?"

Sam takes a breath and rolls his eyes. "Cause you told Quinn! And she of course told Rachel, who immediately called Mercedes who screeched so loudly I overheard her from the backyard..."

I chuckle. I forgot about this. "Of course... shoulda known. And yet, no one warned Santana." I look up and study his reaction. He chews slowly and cocks his head to one side.

"I don't think they did, no. I certainly didn't tell her."

"Yeah, I know. I, um, I ran into her last night at the grocery store."

He almost chokes on his rice, but recovers nicely. "Wow, and she didn't torch the place?"

I laugh. "No, but I could see she wanted to. It was just awkward, especially since she was with Sophia."

He makes a face, that face he does when something is uncomfortable. "That couldn't have been nice."

"Well, in a way, it was. She's a great kid, and she was very sweet to me."

He smiles. "Yeah, that's Sophe. She looks so much like Santana but I don't think she inherited the fullblown Snixx gene."

We laugh at the thought. "It might be too early to tell, you never know!"

"So... how are you feeling now?"

I chew for a while, thinking about what to say. "I have no idea. I mean, I know my feelings for her never went away but seeing her is like having them all in my head screaming at me at the same time and I can't really think. I want to run away and I want to run towards her at the same time."

He jumps up and comes to sit next to me, grabbing my hand. I welcome his warmth. We stay like that for a while, I don't know what else to say because I don't want to cry or look too sad in this strange place. We eat in comfortable silence, commenting on the food every now and then. I think he gets my drift, that I don't want to talk about this anymore, because he starts babbling about his tv show and how cool it feels to get to play with stuff all day. I like to see him so excited that he talks more with his hands than with his words. It's familiar to me.

"And then one time I got to mix these two liquids together that I can't remember the name anymore and then whoooooosh, it turned into this cool foam mass thing! It was awesome. Of course the kids in the studio went nuts and we all started playing with it when the cameras cut. That was an awesome day."

His smile is taking him back to that moment, I can see that. And I suddenly want to know more, so I ask him what kind of things he is doing today.

"Oh, today is astronomy day. They're prepping the set now with like stars and constellations so I can show the kids the path of the Halley comet."

"And do you know the path of the Halley comet?" I can't help but chuckle at him. He gives me a sheepish grin.

"Well, I have to study it and memorize my lines, and that's my way of finding out. See, that's what's so cool about this show, cause I get to learn stuff too."

I suddenly see why he's so successful with the kids. He has genuine enthusiasm and a passion for learning these things. His show has dominated Saturday mornings for years, and I'm so happy for him. We talk for a little while longer, until a girl with a headset walks in and tells him that he has to go shoot a scene now. We hug and I tell him I can let myself out, which is sort of a lie because I can't really remember which way the elevator is, but I'll manage.

And I do, because a few minutes later, I'm back on the noisy street, taking it all in. This city sounds different and it smells different than any other place I've been to. I still can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing. It's just different. It suddenly dawns on me that I have nowhere I have to be right now. So I decide to walk around and try to get familiarized with this place. I've only been here once before, when we came for nationals. And we didn't really get to see much of it since we were hauled up trying to come up with a set list. Still, that New York was completely different since it was our New York. We discovered it together. This has to be my New York first. I need to find my place here, a place that doesn't have Santana's shadow. I start walking down this really wide street and I hear music blaring close. I get drawn to it, to a small group of people gathering on a street corner. As I get close, I see there are two guys dancing. There's a hat on the floor with some dollar bills crumpled inside. I get lost in the beat watching them dance, remembering the joy of it. When they're done, I put some change in the hat and clap along with everyone else. I keep walking, and I smile when I see a billboard for Rachel's show. I never doubted I'd see this one day. I remember I haven't talked to her in a while, either. There are so many people I need to get back in touch with. While I'm looking at it, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I fish it out and check the caller ID. It's an unknown number. I pick up.

**Hello?**

_Hello, yes, is this Brittany Pierce?_

**Yes, this is she.**

_Hello Ms. Pierce, I'm Erika Ale, I'm calling from Hentworth's Pre-school._

**Oh, yes, hello Ms. Ale, how can I help you?**

_Well we got your resume and we would like you to come in for an interview tomorrow. Is that ok?_

**Absolutely! What time do you need me to be there?**

_9 am. The process has two parts, first an interview with me and then a sort of model class with a select number of students, to see how you interact with them. So you'll need to prepare for that and bring anything you might need for it._

**Excellent, thank you I'll see you then.**

_I look forward to meeting you Ms. Pierce, have a good day._

Click. Done. What?!

I do a little jump right there in the middle of the street. I have a job interview now! That's step one! YAY!

The next day I get up at 5 am. I'm way too excited, and I didn't really fall asleep until about 1 am cause I was prepping for my interview and for that model class for today. I decided to do hip hop for my model class. Mainly because it allows the kids to bounce around without much technique and it gets them really loose. At the same time though, I've found that it gives me a lot of control over the class because everyone wants to know what we're doing next. I choose my outfit carefully, wondering if I should actually have two outfits: a formal one for the interview and my dance clothes. Finally, I just decide on fancier-than-usual dance clothes, cause honestly, they want me to teach dance and you can't do that in like a pantsuit.

I get to Hentworth's and it's really… imposing. I guess that's the right word. It's not very big actually, and I can see it's just a one-story building, but everything about it screams sophistication. I see a courtyard to one side and a natural grass field to the other. I walk in and find the Principal's office to my right. The secretary tells me to just wait for a minute and in actually less than a minute, a very tall lady with olive skin is walking towards me, her arm stretched in front of her and a dazzling smile on her face.

"Hi, Ms. Pierce? I'm Erika Ale, we spoke on the phone." We shake hands and she motions towards her office, so I follow her in.

"Please, call me Brittany, thank you for the opportunity."

She sits behind a mahogany desk that is cluttered but in an organized way. I notice some framed drawings on the wall, I assume they are either from students or from her kids. I sit in front of her in one of the multicolored chairs.

"Well, then please call me Erika, we are very happy to have you here. Tell me a little bit about yourself, Brittany." She opens a folder that I see has my resume in it, and she's holding a pen right above it. As I start to talk, she never breaks eye contact, but I can see that she scribbles some notes as well.

"Yes, I studied dance in Australia, first in the Sydney Dance Company, where I got a scholarship to major in dance in the WAAPA, the West Australian Academy of Performance Arts." I see her nod and motion for me to go on. I always feel really weird talking about myself like this, but I continue. "After I graduated, I joined the Sydney Dance Company, this time as part of the touring company and I toured around Australia and Europe with them for two years before I started choreographing and dancing for A Cabaret Story in Berlin."

"That's very impressive, Brittany. So, if I may ask, why are you looking for a job as a dance teacher in a pre-school? It seems to me you could have your pick working pretty much anywhere you want." It could sound mean, but I can tell she's genuinely interested in my answer.

"I'm looking to open a dance studio here in New York, because through my travels I found that I really love teaching and seeing others find that joy in dancing, especially kids. And to open a dance studio first you need to make yourself known around the area, so what better way to do that than to teach in the most prestigious pre-school around?"

I smile and she smiles back, scribbles a couple more notes, and closes the file. Then she intertwines her fingers and rests her chin on top of her hands.

"That's very noble of you, and we certainly would be lucky to have someone with your experience teaching here. I appreciate your candor, and since you were so honest with me, I'll be very honest with you, Brittany. We are just starting this dance program, because we feel our students need some creative outlet that can also be combined with some type of physical activity, since we have noticed an alarming drop in sign-ups for sports. We can't force the kids to play sports outside of the half hour PE class, but we can certainly offer other options to keep them active, and we feel dance can be just the answer we are looking for. We would need you to not only teach three classes a day, but to also help us build the program, interlace different types of dancing and maybe if it takes off, we can take on other teachers to expand the program next year and maybe teach extracurricular classes. It's a lot of hard work and we need someone who is committed to it. Does that sound right up your ally?"

I take a moment to mull all this over. She's right, it sounds like a lot, but at the same time, my mind is racing with all the different possibilities and dance lessons and stuff I can put on for recitals and such. I take a deep breath and feel the biggest smile on my face.

"Sounds perfect."

Erika lets out a whoop and I get a flash of her perfectly straight white teeth.

"Wonderful! Now, Mrs. Pearson's class is ready for our second part of the interview, you'll be teaching her 3 and 4 year olds today. There are 12 to 14 students in each class, 8 classes total, and we have 109 students overall." She keeps rattling on about numbers as she guides me through the halls towards the back of the building. I can see through the little windows in the doors to my sides that each class has a different color pattern and the muffled sounds of kids come streaming out. She takes a right turn at the end of the hall and stops in front of the wooden paneled double doors. "This is our old gym, where the dance lessons will take place. We built the new gym out back last year and we renovated this place. The kids should be here in about 5 minutes, so let's get settled." She pushes the doors in and I step into a large bright room. The floor feels a little bit padded, and I can see the entire side is covered in mirrors and there is a parallel bar propped up on the wall next to them. To our right there is a row of benches and cubbies behind them and in the corner a small desk with a stereo on top of it. Erika is walking towards it, so I follow. I drop my bag next to the desk and take out my aux cord and my iPod to plug it into the system. I pick the playlist I created last night and let the first song blast through the hidden speakers all around. It sounds amazing. I turn it off and turn towards Erika.

"This place is great, and the breeze that comes in is perfect for when it gets too hot during the summer."

Erika nods and checks her watch. "I know, it's the perfect natural cooling system. Now, when the kids come in, I will introduce you, and then I will sit at the back while you start your lesson. The lessons here are 40 minutes long, after that we will go back to my office to chat, ok?"

"Sounds good."

I hear the unmistakable sounds of tiny footsteps rushing towards the gym, and when the double doors pop open, 12 kids come running forward screaming and laughing escorted by an out of breath teacher. Erika claps her hands twice to get the attention of the kids, and this must be a regular occurrence because they fall silent and stare up at her.

"Ok kids, welcome to your first dance lesson! This is Ms. Brittany and she will be your dance teacher, say hello!"

A chorus of tiny voices yells "HI MISS BRITTANY" and I see a couple of them waving and jumping in place.

"Hi guys! Are you excited to dance today?" They scream out YEEEEES and jump up and down, as I see Erika retreating to the other end of the gym, sitting next to the other teacher who smiles at me encouragingly. "Ok, so let's start with some dancing introductions. Get in a circle, yes, like this, and we will all dance together and say our names." I get them all in a circle and press play on the tiny remote in my hands. As the first song starts blaring, I see the kids start to move about to the beat and so I clap my hands and say my name and point to the little boy next to me, who claps and loudly says CLAYTON before giggling. We go around the room and although I know I won't remember all of their names today, at least I can see that they take directions well.

The next 40 minutes go by in a blur. We took a 5 minute break in between but I hardly had time to rest since the kids just crowded me asking questions about a million miles per second. After the class was over and we ended with a group hug, they retreated back with their teacher and I walked over to Erika while taking a swig of my water bottle.

"You certainly are a natural when it comes to kids, Brittany. That was wonderful."

Even though I'm sweaty and hot, I can still feel the blush creeping up my face. "Thank you, the kids were great."

Erika grabs the folder under her arm and straightens her shoulders. "Well, I think I've seen enough and there's no need for further discussion really."

Oh crap. Did I mess it up? Was she looking for someone a little more professional who wouldn't let the kids dance around willy nilly? I see her smiling at me.

"Welcome aboard, Brittany." She extends a hand towards me, but instead of taking it, I clasp my face and let out a gasp.

"Really?"

"Yes! Really. I think you will fit in quite nicely here." I finally take her hand and I thank her for the opportunity and how I won't let her down. We go back to her office to sign some papers and she hands me a folder with a copy of my contract, information about the school policies, insurance, etc. I walk out of the office with a cheerful "I'll see you Monday!" and bounce up and down all the way to my car.

This is the best day I've had in a really long time!


	9. Dancing Through Life

_Present day_

Four days after running into Brittany, Santana felt back in control again. Things at work were going wonderful, they had just signed Rachel’s new contract for an original musical that was very promising, so Rachel took her out to celebrate. Santana rarely hung out with just Rachel, but they had left the meeting feeling giddy and it had seemed like a good idea. They went to a popular Broadway hang-out and settled in a corner booth, where Rachel immediately ordered champagne. The waiter filled their glasses and Rachel cleared her throat. Santana rolled her eyes playfully, sure she was about to hear another famous Rachel speech.

“So, here’s to you, my wonderful publicist, for forcing me to meet with the producers of this show even though I specifically said I wasn’t looking for a new opportunity right now. I think this show is gonna be great and I’m super happy I get to be a part of it. I know it’s only 11 am but I feel we deserve a drink. Cheers!” They clinked glasses and downed about half of the champagne at once.

“Yeah, I know you wanted a break but think about it: This is in the early stages now, so you’ll have rehearsals and stuff for a few months before there’s any actual work to be done, so don’t worry.”

They ordered a late breakfast and had a good time. Santana kept her snark in check because she had to admit that this was a great opportunity for Rachel and she was happy for her friend and for her client, also.

After eating, Santana walked Rachel to the stage door so she could get ready for her show, and then walked to her office to get some work done. Shortly before 3, she got in her car and went to pick up Sophia from preschool. Just as she got in her car, her phone rang. She saw the caller ID and smiled.

**Talk to me Cedes.**

_Hey girl, I’m coming over to your office right now with some new tracks I want you to check out._

**I just left, the tunnel is closed today so I have to beat traffic to get to Sophia’s school on time.**

Santana heard Mercedes snort.

_You cut your days so short cause you gotta drive all the way back out the city to pick up the little one. Why didn’t you just enroll her in the school three blocks from your office anyway?_

**Cause Hentworth’s is the best school around and my kid is gonna get the best damn everything she can, Wheezy, that’s why. And plus, it gives me an excuse to leave the office on time and actually spend time with my daughter.**

_Alright Miss Mom, can I drop by your house later today to check out the songs? I need your input on them._

**Sure, we’ll be there.**

_Cool, see ya!_

Santana turned up the radio and sang along the rest of the way. When she got to the school’s parking lot, she turned off the engine and walked out to pick up Sophia. The little one ran over to her mom and hugged her tight. Santana took her backpack and lunchbox from the teacher and walked hand in hand with Sophia to the car.

“Did you have a good day mija?”

Sophia nodded as Santana buckled her up in the car seat. “Uh huh, we started dance hour today!”

“Oh, that’s right! How was it? Did you have fun?”

Sophia was safely in her seat, so Santana handed her the little Tupperware with cut up apples before closing the back door and settling in the front seat.

“Yeeeeees, and Miss Brittany remembered me and made us spin really fast in class.”

Santana dropped her keys and whipped her head back to Sophia, absolutely sure she had misheard her daughter.

“Miss Brittany?”

Sophia nodded as she bit on an apple slice. “Mhhmm your friend from the grocery store mommy, she’s my dance teacher and she’s pretty and funny.”

_Fuck._

Santana took a deep breath. “Stay here for a sec ok mija? I forgot something inside, I will be right back.”

Sophia shrugged ok and continued to eat her apples and hum.

Santana left the windows down and walked steadily towards the school, her hands balled up into fists. She burst into Sophia’s classroom and Ms. Tilly, Sophia’s teacher, jumped.

“Oh, Miss Lopez! Did Sophia forget something?”

“Um, no, erm, where’s her dance teacher? I need to have a word with her.”

Ms. Tilly looked uncertain, but something about Santana’s fiery stare made her answer just the same. “In the old gym, down the hall. She might still be there.”

Santana gave a curt nod and left. She burst into the gym and saw Brittany packing up her stuff. Brittany looked startled and the color drained from her face as she saw Santana approaching. She seemed to brace herself for what she knew was coming.

“What the HELL are you doing here?”

Brittany put her hands up in front of her and kept her voice steady and low, in contrast to Santana’s dangerous growling. “Santana, relax, I had no idea Sophia went to this school and I just started my new job here.”

Santana crossed her arms in front of her with such force that Brittany thought she’d break her own arms. “Well you can’t work here.”

“That’s not up to you to decide, and I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Santana took a step forward and looked directly at Brittany. “I just don’t feel comfortable with you teaching my daughter.”

Brittany didn’t break the gaze, but tried to soften her tone. “I’m sorry, I understand that. But I can’t just quit, and I won’t. It’s clear that you don’t want to see me, so I’ll just be your daughter’s dance teacher three times a week, ok? I promise I’ll stay out of your way.”

When Santana didn’t reply, Brittany gathered her stuff and left, leaving Santana fuming and with her teeth gritted. Santana counted to fifteen – twice – before walking back out to her car, where Sophia was just finishing her snack. She forced a smile on her face as she got in the car.

That afternoon after lunch, Sophia was in the living room drawing when Mercedes showed up. Santana was already on her second beer, pacing the kitchen.

“Hey hey, what’s wrong?”

Santana shook her head as Mercedes got comfortable. “Just got some news today that I’m still not sure how to process. Get this, Brittany took a job at Sophia’s school, and she’s teaching her dance.”

Mercedes took a second to gauge her friend’s demeanor before answering. “Well, good for Brittany right? That’s a pretty prestigious school, so not everyone can teach there.”

Santana took another swig of her beer as she sat in front of Mercedes. “Sure, but why Sophia’s school though? It just… it bothers me, ok?”

“Knowing Brittany, we both know it wasn’t on purpose and there’s nothing you can do about it, so chill. Can we focus on the songs I brought you now, please?”

Santana shrugged and nodded, as she settled into PR mode and spent the next few hours going over song choice, promos, tweets, etc, with Mercedes while Sophia danced to the beats, showing off the new moves she had learned in school.

That evening, sitting in the living room with an exhausted Sophia on her lap, Santana picked up her phone.

**Hey Q, I was wondering if you could give me Brittany’s number. I’m not gonna yell at her, promise.**

Santana set her phone down and picked Sophia up to take her to her bed. She knew Quinn would debate over giving her the number or not for a few minutes, so she took her time. After kissing her daughter good night and tucking her in, Santana grabbed another bottle of beer before flopping on the couch once more, reading the message that just came in.

_Ok, I believe you. I’m sending you her contact info now. Remember this Sunday it’s potluck at your place! X_

Santana quickly sent a thank you message to Quinn and saved the number that she sent. She downed almost half the bottle at once before typing madly on her phone, stopping, rereading, erasing and retyping almost 5 times before she grew tired and just hit send without giving herself time to think about it. After sending the message, she threw her phone towards the other end of the couch and got up and paced around the living room.

The message read:

**Sorry I yelled at you today, it took me by surprise and I didn’t handle it well.**

A few minutes later – or what seemed like hours for Santana – her phone buzzed and she stopped pacing. She looked at the device, bit her lip and walked slowly towards it. She got comfortable in the couch, pulled up her legs under her, took another swig of beer and then grabbed the phone.

_I understand, when I saw Sophia walk into my class I kind of knew it was coming at some point. Thank you for apologizing._

This time the words came out faster.

**I figured it was necessary. By the way, she loved the class; she was dancing all afternoon around the house.**

Santana didn’t set the phone down; she just kept it open in front of her, a smile etching on her face.

_Oh that’s cute! She picked up the moves pretty fast, too. She’s got a lot of energy._

**Haha yeah, she’s a ball of fire. The good thing is that she got tired out so she’s already asleep.**

_I can imagine, three classes a day with those little ones is more exercise than I’ve been used to for a while!_

**You will get the hang of it soon enough. But you must be tired then too, so I will let you sleep. I said what I wanted to say already.**

_Oh. Ok. Well, good night Santana, and thanks again._

**Yeah, I mean, I owed you an apology. Good night**

Santana let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. It was all over in less than 3 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Santana threw out the empty bottle and went up to her room. She lay in bed for a while, thinking things over, remembering conversations from years ago, where texts were followed by hushed calls and falling asleep with the phone by her ear, listening to Brittany’s steady breath. When she closed her eyes she could almost hear Brittany’s faint words as mumbled from another lifetime. It soothed her and soon enough, she was floating on clouds, following Brittany’s voice through the ebbs of her dreams. Dreams she wouldn’t remember when she woke up the next morning.

The next few days went by as usual, except for the excessive nervousness as Santana pulled up to the parking lot to pick up Sophia. She never got in the school, but looked around as she greeted Sophia. It was a sunny Thursday when Sophia ran out of the school with a bright paper in her hand.

“Ma, look what I drew today!” She kissed Santana and jumped up and down as she gave her mom the picture. It was a picture of the both of them in what appeared to be the gym with a jukebox on one side and musical notes in the air. “We’re dancing!!!!”

Santana laughed and hugged Sophia tightly. “I can see that mija, it looks beautiful! Do you want to hang it up in the kitchen wall?” Sophia nodded excitedly as she got in the car. Santana opened the trunk to put Sophia’s things, when she heard a little scream escape the little one.

“What’s wrong mija?” Sophia bit her lip.

“I forgot my jacket in the class…” Santana let out a sigh.

“Ok, stay put, I’ll go get it.”

Santana left Sophia strapped into her car seat with the radio on and the windows down and rushed back to the school to get Sophia’s jacket. After finding it hanging from the hippo hanger that had Sophia’s name on it, she turned to leave when she heard a familiar song drifting from the other side of the school. Her feet moved alone and before she knew it, she was standing in front of the double doors to the gym looking through the small windows.

Brittany was there in purple leggings and an oversized gray sweater, going over what Santana knew to be an old Cheerios routine. Santana couldn’t help but smile as she watched Brittany dancing effortlessly with a grin on her face and her eyes closed. She stayed put for a few more minutes before she remembered Sophia was waiting in the car and left being careful not to be seen by Brittany.

She got in the car, handed her jacket over to Sophia and backed up.

After dinner that night, Santana snuggled with Sophia and watched a Tinkerbell movie. It was one of Sophia’s favorites and she usually fell asleep halfway through, but this time, Santana noticed that Sophia’s face was screwed up in thought. She hit pause on the remote and turned towards her daughter.

“Is something wrong mija?” Sophia shook her head.

“Uh-uh, I was just thinking that Tinkerbell looks like Ms. Brittany but with wings.”

Santana smiled. “Do you think so?”

Sophia nodded and opened her eyes wide. Her voice was barely a whisper. “Do you think she’s a fairy too?”

Santana laughed. “No baby, she’s not a fairy. But now that you mention it, she kind of looks like Tinkerbell. Must be the hair, huh?”

“And the way she moves too, cause when Ms. Brittany dances it’s like she’s floating and she looks pretty.”

Santana stared at something far away. “Yeah, she does.”

Sophia snuggled closer to her mom and hugged her. After a few minutes, she nudged her mom, who jerked awake. “Mooooooom, push plaaaaaaaaay.”

“Y-yeah mija, sorry.” Santana resumed the movie and started caressing Sophia’s arm as the little one drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

_Brittany_

My first week teaching is officially over today, and it has been the most tiring work I’ve done in a long time. I bounce up the steps to the school early because Erika asked me to meet her in her office this morning before my first class. I knock on the Principal’s door and hear a faint “come in” from inside, so I push it open. The smell of coffee is the first thing that greets me. Erika is behind her desk, smiling. I wave at her and take the seat opposite her.

“Good morning! That smells nice.”

“Do you want a cup?” She turns around as if to pour me a coffee, but I shake my head.

“Oh no, thanks, the kids give me enough energy as it is, and if I drink coffee I’ll just be bouncing up the walls all day.” I clamp my mouth shut because I know I tend to be too chatty, but Erika just laughs and agrees with me.

“I’m not as fortunate as you, seeing as I don’t deal with the kids as much as the parents and the board, so I need this energy in liquid form.” She takes another sip of her coffee and sets it in front of her. I start wiggling one leg under me. She takes a deep breath and leans forward in her chair. “So, the reason I wanted to see you this morning is to tell you that we’ve decided to have a sort of end of term recital. _Dance_ recital.”

My eyes widen. All I can say is “Oh.”

She keeps going, as though that was all that was required of me. “It’s a good chance to let the parents see what the kids are doing, we usually have a play around Christmas time and events for Easter and whatnot, so we thought it would be a good idea to introduce the dance program. Some people on the board weren’t too convinced with it, but so far I see it’s going great so do you feel you can put together a program where each class presents something?”

I can feel my brain whirring around and I need to sit on my hands to stop them from flailing around. I count to five before I answer. “Absolutely, we can have group dances and one or two solo acts or so, we can make it themed as well or something like that.”

Erika is nodding along and smiling. “Excellent, well, I will leave the details of the program to you, we are thinking it could be the last Thursday before term ends and that’s in … 9 weeks. Of course we will have to meet again a few times to get everything straightened out, but I wanted to give you enough time to plan and prepare.”

“Yeah, sounds great! I will start thinking of ideas and things that would work.”

She claps her hands. “Excellent! Ok well, I will let you get to it, what do you say we meet every Friday at this time to just see where we’re at with this recital?”

I just nod, since it sounds like it’s already a plan. We say goodbye and I head back to the gym. I sit down on the bench to really think about what’s going on. A recital?? I haven’t organized one of those in… nope, never, really! I have been a part of many, of course, but actually planning the choreography, dance numbers, music, and all that? It sounds like a lot. I can feel my palms getting sweaty, but I stand up and pace around. Isn’t this what I wanted, though? This chance to show everything I can do and that I’m capable of not only dancing, but _teaching?_ And if I want to run my own studio, I need the exposure. Ok, ok, this is working, I can think now! The first thing I need is… hmmmm a theme. Yeah, if I have a theme then everything else can start working itself out. I got it! I’ll ask the kids! I mean, it’s their recital as much as mine anyways. And I remember the best lessons we had in Glee Club or in the Cheerios were when _we_ got to pick what to do. Ok, so that’s what I’ll do today!

Alright, one day down and not too many good ideas, but that was expected. I look down at my notebook where I wrote down the kids’ ideas and the votes each got. So far we have: Sports (9 votes), Movies (14 votes), Food (1 vote, although I think Aubrey was just hungry), the beach (4 votes), astronauts (5 votes), cowboys (3 votes) and eight who couldn’t decide. It’s not much, but it’s a start. I think we could do some sort of classical movie night, but with kids’ movies.

On my way home, I start mentally sorting kids’ movies into categories, ones that would work and what type of music we could use, etc. I barely notice what I’m doing until I sit down on the couch with my bowl of Frosted Flakes. I open my computer and find my list of Disney songs and I blast it through the apartment, to find some inspiration. I feel my phone buzzing halfway through “Hakuna Matata” and I pick it up, dropping my spoon in the process. I can’t believe the name on the ID. Is she texting me to apologize again?

**I think you created a monster. Sophia won’t stop dancing to that Tangled song!**

I smile. I can already see it. She’s the most enthusiastic kid in my classes, too. I pick up my spoon and lay it on the table in front of me.

_Oh no! A dance monster, those are the worst. And at least it’s a good song, so count your blessings._

I quickly scribble down “Tangled” on my pad, because since they already know the basic choreography to that song, it would be easy as a group number!

**True. Still, I might accidentally delete that track. I can make no promises.**

_You might not want to hear that I was planning on using that song for the dance recital at the end of the term. It’s still kind of in progress, so the kids don’t know yet. I was actually just working on the songs I would use._

**Ughhhh fine, fine, I will buy earplugs. A dance recital? Sounds interesting. Is it a competition? Cause my Sophe would kill it.**

I chuckle. Of course Santana would want it to be a competition.

_They’re four years old, so no. It’s just a show for the parents._

**It’s never too early to start winning, I say. But I can’t wait, I’m sure anything you come up with will be awesome.**

I’m blushing. Really bad.

_Thank you for the vote of confidence. It means a lot._

I want to see her. I do. But I can’t say it, can I? I’m scared of ruining this.

**Sure, you know it’s true, you’re great at what you do. I gotta go, my dancing monkey is losing her steam. Good night**

Oh.

_Have a good night!_

I stare at my phone longer than I have to. I don’t know how I feel, really. She’s reaching out, which is good, but then she closes up? I rub my eyes until they start hurting. I know it’s my fault and I need to find some way to talk to her about … about everything. I guess slow and steady, like my dad always said.

I try to work a little bit more on the recital stuff, but my mind isn’t cooperating. I just give up, take a shower and climb into bed.

* * *

 

_Santana_

Sunday morning, Santana woke up early to the bouncing form of Sophia next to her.

“Buenos dias mamiiiiiii”

Santana let out a groan as she tried to catch Sophia, who just jumped away. “Buenos dias hija, wanna get started on breakfast?”

Sophia jumped off the bed and raced out of the room. Santana stretched before getting up and splashing some water on her face. When she got to the kitchen, Sophia had already put the two glasses, orange juice and milk on the table and was standing next to the unplugged waffle iron, bouncing in place.

“You seem extra bouncy today…” Santana went to the fridge to gather the waffle ingredients while Sophia carried the big bowl over. They had their Sunday routine down to a science: Sophia poured into the measuring cup and Santana stirred the batter.

“Luke and Chris are bringing a new Frisbee today so we can play!” _Shit._ Santana had completely forgot that it was her turn to host the potluck, even though she knew Quinn had reminded her during the week. Luckily, there wasn’t much she had to do to prepare, just clean up a bit and buy some charcoal and steaks for the grill. When the batter was done and the waffle iron was heating up, Santana ran upstairs to fish out her phone. She quickly typed as she walked back downstairs.

**Hey Q, please make sure this Frisbee I’ve been hearing about won’t mess up my yard.**

_Sure, Rachel already gave the boys a lecture on correct Frisbee etiquette this morning._

Santana rolled her eyes because of course the Troll would do that. Either way, she was glad her plants wouldn’t be in danger this afternoon. She helped Sophia sit on her chair and brought the waffles and fixings over to the table, where Sophia was studiously pouring orange juice into the two glasses. Her brow was furrowed in concentration and the tip of her tongue stuck out of her mouth. When she was done, she exhaled and Santana clapped.

“Well done Sophe! You’re getting better and better at that, no more spills!” Sophia did a little happy dance in place and began eating her waffles.

After breakfast, Santana let Sophia get changed by herself as she took a quick shower and threw on some sweats to run out to the store to pick up the few things she needed. Half an hour later, they were on their way to the grocery store singing their favorite songs in the car and laughing all the way. When they got to the store, Sophia rushed to pick up the basket.

“Ok mija, how about I carry the basket and you can be in charge of putting stuff in it?” Sophia pondered that for a second before flashing her mom a big smile and saying “Cool!” Santana grabbed the basket and made a show of reading over her list as they walked into the store.

“Hmmmm ok, the first thing we need is skewers. Do you know where they are?”

Sophia bit her lip while she looked around. “Um, with the paper plates?”

“Bingo! Let’s go find them!” And so mother and daughter headed down the aisle, where Sophia decided on which skewers to get and put them in the basket. After getting charcoal, steaks, shrimp and garlic, they were ready for the checkout counter. Santana felt a tug at her side.

“Mami, can I get some popsicles please?” Santana looked at the long line at the counter and sighed.

“Ok, let’s go quick before this line gets any longer.”

“No! I can get them.”

Santana frowned.

“Are you sure mija?”

Sophia grinned and nodded. “Yup, I know where they are.”

Santana knew the frozen aisle was just two aisles away, and she could see all the exits from here.

“Ok Sophe, you go get ONE box of popsicles and then you come right back. Entendido? I will be right here in this line, I won’t move away.”

Sophia gave her mom the thumbs up. “Entendido ma.”

“What happens if a stranger wants to talk to you or grab you?”

“I shout really loud and run away!!”

Santana nodded. “Good girl, go, hurry.”

Santana watched Sophia skip away and sighed. She knew it was important to give her daughter some responsibilities and this was their regular grocery store after all.

Sophia knew exactly where her favorite popsicles were, but when she got there, she realized the grape ones were a little out of her reach. She tried standing on her toes and stretching as far as her arm could to reach them, but it was no good. _Maybe if I stand on this edge I can get to it._ Just as she was about to open the door and climb on the lower shelf, she heard a voice behind her.

“Hi Sophie, what are you doing?”

Sophia whipped around, ready to shout, but when she saw who it was, she smiled and blushed. “Hi Ms. Brittany, I’m trying to get the grape popsicles.”

Brittany opened the door and grabbed a box and handed it to Sophia.

“Here you go, you know, you shouldn’t climb on that shelf cause it could be dangerous.”

Sophia received the box and blushed. “Thanks, I promise I won’t.”

Brittany looked around, concerned. “Where’s your mom? Did you get lost?”

Sophia shook her head, lifted her chin and smiled. “Nope, she’s at the counter, I got permission to come get the popsicles by myself.”

Brittany chuckled. “That’s awesome.”

Sophia bit her lip. “I gotta go back now.”

“Yeah you should, or your mom might get worried.”

Sophia looked around, unsure of where to go.

Brittany bent down to be at eye level with the little Latina. “Do you know which way to go?”

“Um, kind of, I think.”

“How about I come with you, just to make sure you get there safe.”

Sophia shrugged. “Ok.”

She grabbed Brittany’s hand and they walked back to the counter, where a frantic Santana was waiting. She took a big breath when she saw little Sophia walking towards her.

“Oh god, there you are! I was getting worried.” Santana looked at Brittany and half smiled.

“I couldn’t reach the popsicles ma, but Ms. Brittany helped me.”

Brittany blushed as she let go of Sophia’s hand to hoist her own basket. “You can just call me Britt when we’re not in school, Sophia. Yeah, um, I saw her and figured I could give her a hand.”

Santana took the box of popsicles and put it in with the rest of their stuff before looking back at Brittany. “Thanks for helping her out, for some reason I thought they were on the lower shelf.”

Brittany waved it off. “No problem.” The line was still moving slowly. They all stayed in silence for a minute.

“What is that?” Sophia pointed at a white and green box in Brittany’s basket. Brittany chuckled.

“Um, that’s a frozen meal, it’s ready, and you just put it in the microwave.”

Sophia’s eyes widened. “Oh cool!” She looked up at Brittany. “Is it yummy?”

This time, both Brittany and Santana laughed. “It’s alright, really. I like them cause they’re quick.”

Santana shook her head. “You know those thing are super bad for you, right?”

Brittany shrugged. “Yeah but it’s Sunday and I didn’t feel like cooking much.”

Santana bit her lip, but it was no good, because she blurted out: “Come over to our house then.” Brittany looked at her with a blank look. Santana stammered on. “Uh, I mean, um, Quinn, Rachel and their troop, Mercedes and Sam and I have this potluck thing every Sunday and we take turns hosting it and today is my turn so they’re all coming over and I mean if you’re not busy, you should stop by.” She took a deep breath. “It’s better than that fish thing you have anyways.”

Sophia was bouncing in her place, looking from her mom to Brittany. Brittany was trying to find her words again, as Santana wrung her wrists. “Yeah, that sounds great. I’d love to. What should I bring?”

Santana shrugged. “Not that, that’s for sure.” They both chuckled nervously. “Just bring something to drink, like a bottle of wine or whatever, cause Mercedes always brings way too much food anyways.”

“Alright, I can do that.” They locked eyes and neither spoke until Sophia tugged on her mom’s sleeve to tell her the line was moving.

“Um, I’ll text you my address, and we usually get together around 3.”

“Cool, I’ll go finish up my groceries and I’ll see you both later then.” Brittany stuck her fist down towards Sophia. “See ya Sophe.” Sophia giggled as she bumped her fist with Brittany’s.

“Byeeee.”

Santana waved awkwardly as Brittany flashed her a smile and walked away. She took a deep breath and shook her head before turning towards the cashier and unloading her groceries. She couldn’t stop smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	10. Everything is(?) Awesome

_Hi all! I know, two updates so soon? I was overcome with feels so I thought I'd share it with you. I always love hearing from you, so thank you for your reviews and PMs! xo_

* * *

When the two made it back to the house, Santana switched to cleaning mode. Sophia was in her room blasting a dancing playlist she had insisted her mom on creating and every now and then Santana could hear high pitched giggles. Two hours before everyone was set to arrive, Santana grabbed her phone and quickly typed her address and sent it to Brittany. She then flopped on the couch and picked her favorite stand-up special from Netflix to relax.

At exactly 3 pm, she heard car doors slamming outside and the unmistakable noise of the twins rushing to see who got to ring the doorbell first. Santana chuckled as she waited for the scream that always followed the doorbell.

"THEY'RE HEEEEEEEEEEEERE!" Sophia rushed down the stairs to open the door, but just before she did, she turned around to look at her mom for permission. Santana nodded, and Sophia opened the door. She was instantly drowned by embraces and loud voices, and soon enough all three were rushing towards the backyard laughing.

"BOYS! Manners!" Rachel was shouting fruitlessly as she carried a big casserole and went off to set it on the kitchen counter.

Quinn sighed and followed her wife. "Forget it love, they'll come back and say hello when they get hungry."

Santana got off the couch and walked over to her friends, who each hugged her as a greeting. Rachel was taking the foil off the casserole while Quinn opened the wine and passed a full glass to Santana.

"Thanks Q, how was your weekend?"

The three women went to the backyard and sat on the outdoor living room. Quinn took a sip before answering. "It was fun, the boys had their first official pee wee practice yesterday."

Rachel beamed. "They were so cute, too, with their little bats and whatnot!"

Santana laughed. "I wish Sophia were more into sports and less into dancing, then I wouldn't have to put up with the music blasting at all hours of the day!"

Quinn pointed a finger at her. "Be careful what you wish for though, Luke already made a hole on our fence with his bat because he was killing bugs."

The three women laughed.

A few moments later, they heard a booming voice calling from inside the house. "Anybody home?"

Sophia and the boys stopped and started running towards the voice. "UNCLE SAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Santana got up to see Sam pick up all three kids at the same time and rush forward towards the yard with the kids clinging to him. He flashed Santana and the others a smile before disappearing with the kids. Mercedes walked out behind him shaking her head and smiling.

"He's such a kid, too." She hugged her friends, poured herself a glass of wine and sat down. The four friends spent a few minutes catching up, before Rachel looked up at Santana.

"So how are you doing with the whole Brittany teaching Sophia thing?" Quinn turned to her wife with her eyebrows raised. Rachel shrugged in her direction.

Santana took a moment before answering. "I mean at first it was a big shock and I kind of yelled at her, but Cedes was right, this is a great opportunity for her and so I apologized and I'm just taking it one step at a time." Just then the doorbell rang. Everyone looked at each other in confusion and Santana smiled as she hurriedly said: "Oh and I invited her over so everyone be cool." And she was off to answer the door. The three women shared confused looks and then they laughed.

Santana peeked at her reflection in a mirror and ran a hand through her hair before answering the door. When she did, she saw Brittany in a flowy blue dress and a ponytail, throwing a bottle of wine from one hand to the other. The two women locked eyes and smiled.

"Hey, um, glad you made it!" Santana gestured for Brittany to come in and closed the door behind her.

"Thanks for inviting me. Um, this is…" Brittany held up the bottle and raised her eyebrows in question. Santana grabbed the bottle and withdrew her hand quickly when it grazed Brittany's. Both women laughed nervously.

"Yeah, I'll put this in the fridge." Santana took a couple of breaths to steady herself as she placed the bottle in the fridge and almost jumped when she turned around and saw that Brittany had followed her and was looking at the kitchen wall covered with Sophia's drawings.

"You know parents usually put this stuff on the fridge, right?"

Santana walked over to the wall and stood a distance away from Brittany. "Yeah but when it came to having to throw some of them away to make room for new ones, I just decided to cover this wall instead."

Brittany nodded and smiled. "Good plan."

Santana turned around to look at the blonde. She smiled as she spotted Brittany's tiny scar on her upper lip and the freckles in her nose that were so familiar to her. Brittany could feel Santana looking at her, but couldn't seem to turn to face her.

Santana cleared her throat. "Wanna join the girls outside?"

Brittany finally turned and smiled at Santana, who felt her pulse quicken. "Sure, lead the way."

After a shaky start with the rest of the girls, Brittany felt at ease in the backyard with a glass of wine in her hand and her old friends around. Mercedes and Rachel got up to set the table while Quinn and Santana brought the food outside. Sophia had run up excitedly to Brittany and insisted on her showing Chris and Luke her dance moves.

When everything was set up, Santana walked up to Sam, Brittany and the kids to let them know that lunch was ready. She got there just in time to see Brittany twirl and Sophia and Chris try to imitate it while Sam and Luke played air guitar. "Alright you three, go inside and wash your hands so we can eat." The twins ran inside closely followed by Sophia, who stopped to give her mom a kiss on the cheek. Sam cleaned his hands on his jeans and after a cold stare from Santana muttered "Guess I better go wash up, too." And walked briskly towards the house. Brittany laughed.

"Do  _I_ have to go to the bathroom as well?"

Santana crossed her arms and smiled. "That depends, are you also in the habit of digging up worms from the garden?"

Brittany made the same face she made when she tasted raisins in her food. Santana laughed and nodded.

"Then you're good."

They walked back to where the food was and Santana started fixing Sophia a plate. The kids sat on a small circular table to one side, while the adults took their food to lawn couches. Everyone made appreciative noises at the food, while Rachel gushed about all the cool yummy things that went into her vegan casserole. Santana rolled her eyes.

"Shut it Berry, you can't use the words 'nutritious', 'vegan' and 'flavorful' in the same sentence."

Rachel glared at her. "Why don't you try it and find out?"

Sam and Mercedes giggled and sing-songed "oooooooh" before Santana pursed her lips, walked up to the casserole and with a flourish, ate a big spoonful of it. She stood there squinting her eyes as she chewed, while everyone but Rachel stifled a laugh. When Santana finally swallowed, she sat back down and took a sip from her drink before shrugging.

"My initial statement stands."

Everyone laughed over Rachel's "that's preposterous, you're just stubborn" and then continued eating. Rachel excused herself and went to "check on the twins" when in reality they all knew she was just trying to calm down. Brittany leaned over to Santana.

"I thought it was actually pretty good." Brittany's voice was just a whisper.

Santana winked at her. "Me too, but no way I'm gonna tell  _Rachel_  that."

Brittany shook her head and was thankful she was in the shade, because she could feel her cheeks blushing.

After eating way too much, they all opened another bottle of wine and settled down inside. Mercedes fiddled with her phone and suddenly there was some quiet music drifting from the speakers. Sam was in the middle of telling a story about his day, when Sophia came in and pulled on Rachel's shirt.

"Tía Rachel, Luke is crying for you." Rachel's eyes widened as she looked at her wife, who rubbed her back before she got up to follow Sophia outside.

A little while later, Rachel came back carrying Luke, who was hugging his mom's neck and sobbing quietly. Quinn immediately got up and walked up to them.

"He's having a hard time breathing, Q, I think we need to take him home and do the asthma treatment again."

Quinn nodded but bit her lip. "Um I can't drive right now, I've had too much wine. Are you ok to drive?"

Rachel shook her head no. But Sam got up.

"Guys, I only had one beer, so we can give you a ride home."

Rachel sighed and looked from Sam to Mercedes. "Are you sure?"

Mercedes smiled. "Of course."

Santana got up to help pick up the twins' bags. "Just come back for your car tomorrow or something."

Quinn took the bag from Santana. "Thanks, sorry we're cutting the evening short."

Santana gave a wave with her hand before opening the door for her friends. They said their goodbyes and soon enough they were all out the door. As Santana closed the door behind them, it slowly dawned on her that now it was only Brittany, Sophia and her. She looked at Brittany with a small smile.

"This doesn't usually happen."

Brittany shrugged. "Is he gonna be ok?"

Santana walked back to sit on the couch on the other end. "Yeah, he has asthma so sometimes they need to nebulize him or something like that, but the doctor said he would probably grow out of it."

Sophia walked in and sat on her mom's lap. She looked up at Santana on the verge of tears. "What happened to Luke?"

Santana ran her hand through her daughter's hair. "You know how you sometimes run around and then you have to stop because you get thirsty?"

Sophia nodded. "Then you bring me water and I can run more."

"Exactly. And Luke sometimes needs more than water, he needs more air before he can run."

Sophia bit her lip. "How can he get more air?"

"His moms have this special device that helps him get more air, and it's in their house."

"Does it hurt him? Is that why he cried?"

Santana cupped Sophia's cheek. "No mija, it doesn't hurt. But it can be scary to feel you don't have air, so that's probably why he was crying."

"How can I help him feel better?"

Santana took a minute. "Well, what do you think can make him smile?"

Sophia closed her eyes as she was deep in thought for a while. "Luke really likes space and stuff, maybe I can draw him a picture in space?"

Santana smiled. "Sounds like a great idea, mija."

Sophia hugged her mom and jumped down. "I'll go do that right now!" And she ran up to her room.

Brittany was watching the exchange with a strange smile on her face, and when Santana noticed her staring, she felt herself blushing.

"You're a really great mom, you know."

Santana looked away towards the stairs. "Thanks, she's a great kid." When she looked back, the two women locked eyes and Santana felt a jolt in the base of her spine. They smiled fondly at each other and stayed silent for a few seconds.

Brittany took a deep breath and stood up quickly, breaking eye contact. "Let me help you clean up."

Santana shook her head a little before following Brittany outside and clearing up the table. After putting the leftovers away (Brittany pretended she didn't see Santana keep a portion of Rachel's casserole to herself), they loaded up the dishwasher and Santana tilted her head towards the almost empty bottle of wine.

"Do you wanna join me for one last glass?"

Brittany bit her lip. "I really shouldn't, cause I have to drive back and get some work done before tomorrow."

"Oh ok, no worries." Santana hoped her voice sounded as casual as she intended it.

"Some other time?" Brittany looked up at Santana. Santana felt the heaviness of the question and saw herself getting lost in Brittany's big blue eyes. She gave Brittany a half smile.

"Definitely."

Brittany's face lit up and Santana couldn't help but chuckle. The blonde gathered her bag and before hesitating, gave Santana a quick hug. "Again, thanks for inviting me. Tell Sophia I said goodbye."

Santana swallowed hard. "Sure, thanks for coming, Britt." Santana froze at that last word, but Brittany breezed past it and gave Santana's arm a gentle squeeze before walking towards her car. Santana stood in the doorway until Brittany got in the car, then she turned around and closed the door. She leaned against it and released a breath she wasn't aware she was holding in.

* * *

**_Brittany_ **

I'd be lying if I said I got a lot of work done after coming home from Santana's. I watched cartoons for a while, trying to get my head to focus on what I needed to do. The outline for the recital is done, and I have finished choreographing two of the dances. Even though I hate to single kids out at this age, I realize that three out of the five dances we are going to present need to have a solo performer at some point. Maybe I can do it the fun way and have a dance-off of some sort? I don't know yet.

Monday morning on my way to school I decide to ask the kids first. I remember how awful it was to be forced to perform alone when you didn't want to, so I think this is a great first step. In the first class, only four kids want to try out for the solo, so we decide to have mini auditions on our next class. My second class of the day is with Sophia's class, and as soon as they walk in, she lights up and runs towards me to hug me, before blushing deeply and biting her lip.

"Mornin' Miss Brittany."

I ruffle her curls and she giggles. "Good morning Sophe, did you give Luke his drawing yet?"

She seems surprised that I remember. "Mom took a picture of it and sent it to tía Quinn, but they are coming over tonight."

She looks so proud of herself and I can't help but see Santana's gestures in her. "That's gonna be really cool I bet."

She nods and I clear my throat and call for the kids' attention. We start as always with warm up exercises and then I show them the new hip hop routine we are starting. They laugh as I make them show me their toughest faces. A few minutes before we finish the class, I ask the same question I did to the other kids, and only two want to try out: Sophia and this little guy named Aiden. I tell them to practice on the dance moves we learned today and that next class we will all decide who gets the solo.

When the bell for the end of the day rings, I walk out the front steps unconsciously scanning the parking lot for the white Lexus. I smile when I see it, and wave back when Santana climbs out to wave at me. I take my time walking towards my car and I see out of the corner of my eye how Sophia rushes over and Santana bends down to envelop her in a big hug. I unlock my wrangler and drop all my stuff in the backseat before getting in and turning it on.

Halfway home I hear my phone buzzing, but I learned from Quinn's accident in high school never to answer my phone while I drive, so I just ignore it until I park in the underground garage of my apartment building. I see the ID and I can't help but smile.

**My Sophia is gonna KILL this audition. I feel bad for ginger Aiden already.**

I shake my head.

_You know that's bullying and it's not cool right? She has until Wednesday to practice and I know she's gonna be great._

I get home and take off my shoes before my phone buzzes again.

**It's not bullying if it's true ;) And she's already dancing in her room, I suspect she won't stop until Wed!**

On Wednesday I ask Erika to come in as a "guest judge" to help me pick the solo dancers. The process is as follows: Everyone in the class has a smiley face sticker, and they get to put their sticker in a box under the name of the one they thought danced better. I made this "secret booth" so they won't have to do it in front of everyone else.

In my first class all four kids do really well, and by the end it's Tucker who gets picked. Everyone cheers for him and he seems really proud.

For my second class, I get a little nervous for Sophia. I know I shouldn't pick sides, but that's almost impossible for me in this situation. Which is why Erika is here and I put all this voting system in place. Aiden goes first. He's a really good dancer for a kid his age, and he can stay on beat. But he's scrunching up his face in concentration so it doesn't look like he's enjoying it so much. He finishes dancing, we all applaud and he takes a seat. Sophia walks towards the front with what I call the Snixx stance: Chin up, murderous smile and one raised eyebrow. It makes me laugh so much because I don't know if this is on purpose or just the Lopez genes. Of course her purple tutu totally defeats the purpose of the Snixx stance, but I think it's a good thing, given that she's only 4.

When the music starts, I see her face transform and she exudes this absolute  _joy_ when she dances. It's not technically perfect, but her smile is extremely endearing and it makes up for the two or three missteps. She gives this awkward bow when she's done and the voting begins. When Erika tallies up the votes, she announces that Sophia is the winner. She squeals and everyone claps and her friends hug her. I congratulate her and then dismiss the class. When I go to check my phone, I laugh at the 5 unread messages.

**That purple tutu was all her doing, I hope it doesn't mess up her chances of winning.**

**Did she get the turn right? She was struggling with it last night.**

**How did it go? Is it over? Did she win or did ginger Aiden cast a spell on everyone?**

**No, don't tell me, I want to be surprised because of course she won.**

**Wait no, please, tell me so I can mentally prepare for when I pick up Sophia.**

I decide to let her suffer for a bit while I talk to Erika. When she leaves, I sit back on my chair and type out slowly.

_The purple tutu was adorable, and she got the turn right._

I swear I just barely hit send before my phone buzzes again.

**Did she win?**

Alright, I'll put her out of her misery.

_Yes, she was amazing._

**FUCK YEAHHHHHH! That's the Lopez way!**

I burst out laughing.

* * *

The next few weeks fly by. Turns out, there's more to organizing a pre-k dance recital than I thought! I get invited to the Sunday potlucks, but I only show up for one at Quinn and Rachel's house, where Rachel spends the better part of the afternoon glued to the karaoke machine and Santana keeps muttering curse words under her breath because Sophia is clapping and laughing and singing along too. It's fun and I'm extremely happy to be able to spend time with Santana and the rest again, but next Sunday I didn't go to bed until 6 am, so I spent the day recharging at home. Santana kept sending me updates, and the last one was an audio of her laughing as Mercedes yelled at her in the background. Turns out that Sam had a competition with the kids on who could jump from the swings the farthest, and he fell and got a pretty nasty cut above his eyebrow and they were rushing him to the ER. He got 6 stitches, he's fine.

There is only 5 more days to go before the recital! I'm extremely proud of all the kids, because the routines are coming up nicely, but I still need to work a bit on my solo dancers this week, so I decide to talk to their parents so they can either stay for an hour after school or to schedule another practice time. I don't particularly like to meet parents, because they make me feel nervous or like I have to think extra hard about what to say so they won't think I don't know what I'm doing.

It's Monday, and after school ends, I walk out to the parking lot and for the first time since I started here, I make my way towards the white Lexus. I see Santana smile at me, but then I see her wring her wrists and I know she's wondering what I want. It's cute, I gotta say.

"Hey." I smile at her, she relaxes a bit (I think).

"Hi, how was your weekend?"

I let out a long breath. "Long… thankfully the recital is this week so I will be able to sleep a bit more now."

Her eyes are searching mine with concern. "Don't work yourself too hard, ok? It's just pre-k."

I shrug, as I hear Sophia running towards us and Santana immediately bends down to pick her up and pepper her face with kisses. When they are done saying hello, Santana turns to me again. I suddenly remember I had a purpose for coming over.

"Uh, so, um, I want to practice a bit of one on one with Sophia before the recital, just to go over cues and such, so is Thursday after school ok with you?"

Santana whips out her phone to look at her calendar, I assume. "Hmmm yeah, Thursday's fine."

"Cool, it will only take an hour or so." I turn towards the little bundle that is almost asleep against Santana's chest. "Would that work for you, Sophe?"

She giggles and nods vigorously. "Yeaaaah, I love dancing!"

Santana and I chuckle. I make a fist and present it to Sophia, who bumps it and then keeps giggling. "Awesome, it's a dance party."

I look back at Santana and I see her smiling at me. It makes me blush. "Um, I gotta go now, see you!"

I want to hug her but stop myself and wave instead. She waves back and turns around to put Sophia in her car seat. I skip back to the school cause I have more parents to talk to.

* * *

**_Santana_ **

That Thursday Santana woke up earlier than usual thanks to a jumping Sophia.

"DANCE PARTY TODAAAAAAY!" Sophia was chanting and jumping on Santana's bed. She looked adorable in her DC Comics onesie and even though Santana wanted to be mad at her for waking her up, she knew she couldn't. She lunged to catch Sophia and started tickling her. They both giggled.

"Buenos días, princesa." Santana kissed her daughter on the nose and got a hug in return.

"Buenos días, mami." Sophia snuggled closer to her mom and Santana wrapped an arm around her. After a few seconds, Sophia started fidgeting. It made Santana laugh.

"You don't want to cuddle with mami today?" Sophia bit her lip.

"I always want to cuddle with you, mom, but we are going to be late!" She jumped out of the bed and started pulling her mom's hand to get her to move. Santana groaned.

"It's super early mija, we won't be late, I promise!" Santana exhaled and sat up in bed. "Ok, go set the table for breakfast and I will be right down."

Sophia narrowed her eyes. "In how many minutes?"

Santana fought the urge to roll her eyes at her daughter. "Count to 100 and I will be there."

Sophia shouted "OKAY" and ran out of the room counting loudly. "1….2…."

Santana shook her head and quickly went to her bathroom before going downstairs to get started on breakfast.

After dropping Sophia off at school, Santana headed to work, mentally organizing her day.

She had an early meeting with Rachel to go over her contract for her newest play, so she stopped at Starbucks to get her regular coffee but with an extra shot. When she walked into her office, Rachel was already waiting there. The pair hugged and Santana led her into her office.

"You're here early."

Rachel shrugged as she sat opposite Santana. "I always prefer it that way, you know that."

Santana took a big gulp of her coffee before spreading the contract in front of her. "Shocking… ok, so I highlighted some items that I think we need to discuss."

And so the meeting went. Rachel wanted some changes that wouldn't be too hard to accomplish, so Santana called the producer to set up a meeting for the next day to discuss the proposed changes. As she was hanging up, she felt her phone buzz.

**Sophia is bouncing off the walls today! Did she sneak some of your Red Bull this morning?**

Santana chuckled.

_She's excited about your dance party, so this is totally your doing._

She put her phone away, but the smile was plastered on her face. When she looked up, she saw Rachel staring at her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Santana tried her murderous glare, but the blush creeping up her face ruined the effect.

"I know I'm hot, Berry, but you don't have to stare."

Rachel leaned back on her seat and laced her fingers. "You look happy. Who was that?"

Santana didn't miss a bet. "Q sending me nudes."

Rachel chuckled and stood up. She leaned over to whisper. "Wrong blonde, I'm betting." She winked, turned and left.

Seriously, fuck Berry. Santana shook her head and was tempted to text her something mean, but decided against it. So she drank some more coffee and daydreamed about payback for the dwarf.

She left her office a little earlier than usual because she wanted to stop at home to make Sophia a snack before heading to school. When she was done with the sandwiches and cutting the apple slices, she was gone.

After killing the engine, she looked in her rearview mirror and ran a hand through her hair. She exhaled and walked out. All the kids were running around towards their parents, but she knew Sophia and Brittany were inside in the gym so she went that way and stopped before the double door to look through the tiny window. There was music in the background but Sophia and Brittany's laughs seemed to overpower any other sounds. They were twirling around and laughing. Santana couldn't help herself and quickly snapped a picture with her phone before pushing the doors and walking in.

Both laughing heads turned towards the sound and both smiled at her. Sophia ran over to hug her mom, who gave her a one arm hug. Brittany lowered the volume. Santana walked over and set the bag on the desk.

"Hey, I brought you guys a quick lunch before you start your practice." She handed Brittany a Tupperware and opened another for Sophia. Both of them stared at the sandwich and spoke in tandem.

"Cool, PB and j!" Santana couldn't help laughing. Brittany blushed a little but held her sandwich up and toasted with Sophia before biting into it.

They sat on the floor and ate while Sophia tried to tell her mom all about her day between bites. When they finished, Brittany stood up and stretched.

"Ok Sophe, since we just ate, we can't go jumping around or we will get sick, so let's start slow yeah?"

Sophia looked at Brittany and grew serious. She nodded and mirrored Brittany's position: Legs slightly parted and arms to the sides. Santana sat on the bench to the side and leaned back, smiling.

Brittany fiddled with her iPod for a second until she found the song she wanted and went through some stretching exercises with Sophia. After a few minutes, she turned the music off and started going through the dance routine first without music and then with it.

Santana was beaming at how good Sophia was and how quick she was to learn new steps or new directions. After going through the entire dance 4 times without any mistakes, Brittany clapped and high fived Sophia.

"Alright! That was amazing Sophe! Well done!" Sophia blushed and looked at her mom, who was clapping, too.

Sophia tugged on Brittany's shirt, who leaned down so Sophia could whisper in her ear. Brittany glanced at Santana who raised her eyebrows and then back to Sophia. All Santana could make out was: Go ask!

So Sophia walked up to her mom, biting her lip. "Mom, will you dance with me and Miss Brittany?" Santana looked at Brittany who smiled and shrugged. She looked back at Sophia and nodded.

"I would love to, mija." Sophia grinned as she took her mom's hand and walked her over to the middle of the gym. "What are we dancing to?"

Brittany looked at Sophia. "You go pick a song Sophe."

Sophia ran to Brittany's iPod and started swiping, narrowing her eyes in concentration. She squealed when she found a song and when "Everything is awesome" started playing, both Santana and Brittany started laughing. Sophia was jumping all around, so soon enough they were all dancing and jumping around and singing along. When the song was over, a familiar salsa beat started playing and Brittany instantly froze and blushed. Santana startled, looked at her, but Brittany couldn't look at her. Before Brittany could move to change the song, Sophia chimed in.

"Mami this is Spanish, do you know how to dance it?"

Santana grabbed Brittany's hand to stop her as she was turning towards the iPod. She looked down at Sophia and nodded. Sophia jumped and clapped.

"Can you teach me?"

She was still holding on to Brittany's wrist, and she knew both their hearts started racing at that question. She swallowed hard and was about to say yes, when she glanced at Brittany and saw her eyes swimming with tears. Reluctantly, she let go of Brittany and shook her head at Sophia. Brittany rushed to kill the music as Santana leaned down.

"Another day ok mija? We have to go home now." Sophia looked disappointed, but knew enough not to argue with her mom. She went to pick up her things and Santana saw that Brittany was still holding her iPod and looking down at it. Santana didn't want to end their day like this, so she took a deep breath and walked towards the blonde. She saw her shoulders tense when she walked over.

"Hey… um, so it's beef stew Thursday and you have a standing invitation from Sophia if you want to claim it." She smiled as Brittany looked up. The blonde still couldn't look her in the eyes, but she glanced towards Sophia and took a deep breath.

"Beef stew sounds great right now."

Santana chuckled. "Cool, just follow me with your car, I have everything we need at home."

Brittany nodded and Santana wanted to reach out and… just touch her, but stopped. Instead, she turned around and told Sophia about the plans. Sophia squealed and went to hug Brittany. She then turned towards her mom.

"Mom, can I go with Miss Brittany in her car?"

The request took Santana by surprise. She looked at Brittany who looked equally stunned. "Um I don't think Brittany has a booster seat in her car, mija and – I"

Brittany spoke up in what was barely a whisper. "I actually do, I um once gave Rachel and Chris a ride to the dentist and she insisted on giving me one for 'future reference' as she put it." Santana rolled her eyes and Brittany chuckled.

"That hobbit, I swear." She took a deep breath. She smiled as she raised an eyebrow at Brittany, who finally looked up and half smiled at her. "Settled then, yes mija, you can ride with Brittany."

Sophia clapped. "We're gonna have a sing-along! YAAAAY!" Santana pointed at her daughter and smirked at Brittany.

"Good luck with that!"

They all walked out of the school and Santana helped get Sophia into her seat in Brittany's truck. When she finally got into her own car, she exhaled slowly and stopped fighting the tears that came instantly.

It had been many years since she had listened to that song. What the hell, she was singing it in her head anyway. She fiddled with her phone for a bit before she found it, she hit play and drove out of the lot, checking once in her rearview mirror to see Brittany following her. Soon, she was lost in her memories, letting the tears flow freely.

* * *

_Junior Year_

It was a breezy fall Saturday morning when Brittany ran out of her house crying because she had gotten into an argument with Lord Tubbington about who was the best Kardashian. No one else was at home, so she had no one to take her side. But she knew who was going to agree with her that Khloe was the best: Santana. She ran the 25 blocks that separated them in record time and didn't stop to take a breath until she was in front of the Lopez House. She noted that the only car in the driveway was Santana's beat up red 94 VW Golf and wasn't surprised. Her parents were hardly home at the same time, and on weekends even less. Except for church on Sundays. She knocked on the door but no one answered. Damn, she would've called but she ran out without her phone! Brittany could hear music drifting from upstairs and without thinking, turned the knob. It was open. She called out Santana's name but there was no response, so she just followed the music and stopped in front of Santana's door, where the Latina was salsa dancing and singing at the top of her voice. It was a catchy tune, and Brittany couldn't help dancing to the beat, too.

She pushed open the door and waited for Santana to turn around and find her there. When she finally turned around and saw Brittany leaning against the door frame smiling at her, Santana jumped back.

"Jesus FUCK Britt, you scared me! Don't you knock?"

Santana lounged and turned the music off. The sudden silence rang in Brittany's ears. Santana was blushing at being caught and Brittany thought it was insanely cute.

"I did knock, and I called your name but you didn't listen and the door was unlocked."

Santana glared at Brittany and was on the verge of saying something mean when her expression changed and she sat up and walked quickly over to the blonde.

"Shit Britt your eyes are red, were you crying? What happened? Did four-eyed Speed Racer do something to you? Because I'm not above fighting a cripple." Even though her words were harsh, her touch was gentle as she wiped Brittany's eyes. Brittany went to sit on Santana's bed, and the Latina followed.

"Nothing like that, I was fighting with Lord Tubbington because he thinks Kourtney is the best Kardashian and I told him he was crazy."

Without missing a beat, Santana smiled and nudged Brittany with her elbow. "Well duh, obviously Khloe is the best."

Brittany had long ago understood that Santana was the only one who  _got_ her and who she could talk about these things with. Everyone else just looked at her as if she were crazy and called her hurtful things.

"That's what I said but then he  _hissed_ at me. And he hasn't done that since I found his porn stash and so I started crying and knew I had to leave so I came here."

Santana put her arm around Brittany and kissed her temple. "He's an ass Britt, you know you can stay here until he, um, cools down."

Brittany rested her head on Santana's shoulder and whispered her thanks. After a few minutes, she looked up and smiled at Santana. "So what were you just dancing and singing to?"

Santana took her arm back and blushed furiously. "Servando y Florentino."

Brittany narrowed her eyes. "Is that a pasta sauce?"

Santana laughed good-naturedly. "No Britt, they are these brothers who sing in Spanish. Kind of like the Latino salsa version of Hanson."

Brittany thought for a minute. "That sounds fun. Can I listen?"

Santana fumbled to get her iPod and played a song. She was softly singing along and stealing glances at Brittany as she sang.

 _Por tu manera de pensar y el tono de tu voz al conversar_  
comenzaba a sospechar me volvería a enamorar  
por tu sencillo comportar y poseer gran capacidad  
de entregar todo al amar tan incondicional  
si quieres mátame ya

_Estas hecha para mí, yo he nacido para ti_   
_y es por eso que amarnos es tan fácil_   
_y es que somos uno solo, y coincidimos siempre todo_   
_eres para mí_   
_estas hecha para mí , yo he nacido para ti_   
_y es por eso que estar juntos están fácil_   
_nos queremos y decimos sin temor lo que sentimos_   
_eres para mí_

_Porque has estado siempre ahí, a la hora de llorar o de reír_   
_viviendo a plenitud desde el principio a fin_   
_sé que eres para mí_

_Estas hecha para mí, yo he nacido para ti_   
_y es por eso que amarnos es tan fácil_   
_y es que somos uno solo, y coincidimos siempre todo_   
_eres para mí_   
_estas hecha para mí , yo he nacido para ti_   
_y es por eso que estar juntos están fácil_   
_nos queremos y decimos sin temor lo que sentimos_   
_eres para mí_

Santana was practically dancing as she sat and sang softly, so Brittany stood up and held her hand out for Santana. The Latina stood up holding her hand and looked confused at Brittany. The blonde leaned over to whisper in Santana's ear.

"Can you teach me?"

It sent shivers down Santana's back as she only nodded and grabbed a hold of Brittany's waste as she went over the basic salsa moves. It came to no surprise to Santana that Brittany picked it up instantly, and soon enough they were doing all these complicated dance moves and turns as the song played on repeat. After almost 10 runs, both collapsed on Santana's bed laughing and out of breath.

Santana was on her back and Brittany was next to her propped up on her elbows.

"That was fun! Doing those turns is my favorite part."

Santana laughed. "Yeah, cause you're tall so there's no problem, I have to stand on my toes to let you turn under my arm!"

Brittany lowered her head to rest under the nook of Santana's arm. Santana immediately started playing with Brittany's hair.

"So why were you repeating the same song over and over instead of playing others?"

She felt Santana shrug. "Cause that's my favorite one and, um, itremindsmeofyou." The last part of that sentence came out as just a breath and Brittany had to mentally go over it a few times before understanding.

"Can you tell me what it says?"

Brittany wanted nothing more than to look at Santana because it was one of those rare moments when Santana let her guard down, but she knew the Latina would clamp down if she looked up, so she closed her eyes and concentrated on Santana's breathing and her hand on her hair.

Brittany felt Santana exhale. "Word for word or just in general?"

Brittany shrugged. "Whichever you want." She knew it was gonna be word for word, because that way Santana didn't have to explain or make it personal, and she almost laughed when she heard Santana's voice again.

"So, what they are singing is literally this: because of the way you think, the tone of your voice when we talk, I was starting to suspect I was gonna fall in love again. For your simplicity and your great ability to give it all unconditionally when you love, if you want you can kill me now. You were made for me, I was born for you and this is why our love is so easy. Because we are one and we agree on everything, you are the one for me. You were made for me, I was born for you and this is why being together is so easy. We love each other and we say without fear what we feel, you are the one for me. Because you have always been there, when it came to tears or laughter, living it all from beginning to end, I know you are the one for me." She stopped playing with Brittany's hair and took a deep breath. "Then it goes back to the chorus and some runs and so on, but that's basically it."

Brittany couldn't help herself anymore, she propped back on her elbows and looked at Santana, who was swallowing hard and biting her lip. Brittany leaned towards her, to force the Latina to look at her. When she did, Brittany saw something in Santana's eyes she hadn't seen in… ever: Vulnerability. She smiled and leaned forward to give Santana a kiss. It was short, sweet but electric. When Brittany leaned back again, it took Santana a moment longer to open her eyes. Brittany smiled that smile that only Santana got from her.

"I love it, thank you for translating it for me."

Santana looked at Brittany and the blonde felt her stomach churning. The intensity in Santana's eyes could've set all of Lima on fire, but it was only setting the blonde on fire. "Anything for you, Britt."

Brittany caressed Santana's cheek with the back of her hand, then used it to pull Santana towards her and kissed her hard. Santana's lips parted immediately and Brittany explored her lips and her mouth with her tongue, loving the small moans that escaped the Latina. She bit Santana's lower lip gingerly before resting their foreheads together. Their eyes were still closed, but Brittany could feel Santana's pulse quicken, as she heard her whisper: "Estás hecha para mi." Brittany racked her brains back to the song but she knew the words had already been embedded in her memory so she answered without much effort. "Yo he nacido para ti." She smiled as Santana wrapped her arms around her and kissed her again. They stayed in silence, cuddling and caressing each other, each of them running through the lyrics in their minds. Brittany knew this was more Spanish than she had learned in three years in Mr. Shuester's class.


	11. Recitals and Performances

_Present Day_

Santana fixed her make up before getting out of the car and mustered up a smile to greet Sophia and Brittany. They were laughing as they got out of the car, and Sophia rushed forward to tell her mom in detail all the songs they had sung together.

Brittany followed the pair in and immediately Santana and Sophia got in cooking mode.

"What can I do to help?" Santana looked around and handed Brittany three glasses.

"Can you set the table please?"

Brittany grabbed the glasses and flashed a smile as she put them down and went around the kitchen grabbing all the other things they needed. Santana was in charge of the stove while Sophia handed her the ingredients. Soon enough, the pot was full and Sophia went to sit with Brittany in the living room to color.

It was a pleasant dinner, and they fell into comfortable silence that was only broken by Sophia and her occasional comment on her day that she had forgotten to mention before. After dinner, Sophia settled in front of the TV to watch a movie, and Santana motioned for Brittany to follow her outside. They sat in the couch with glasses of wine and were quiet for a while. Brittany started to fidget, and Santana smiled and waited for the blonde to ask whatever was troubling her.

It only took about thirty seconds before Brittany set her glass down and turned to Santana blushing slightly.

"Um, was that whole song thing awkward for you?" The blonde couldn't look her in the eye, so Santana mulled the question over, deciding on honesty.

"Not awkward, just… unexpected."

Brittany frowned. "Is that good or bad?"

Santana sighed. "Both, I guess." When she saw the question mark all over Brittany's face, she continued. "It brings really good memories, you know that, but it also makes me feel sad because that's all they are… just, memories. You know?"

Brittany bit her lip and nodded. She leaned back on the couch. "I get it. I guess it's the same for me."

Santana reached for Brittany and squeezed her hand. The blonde met her gaze and she smiled. "But it's always more good than sad."

Santana saw Brittany's eyes fill with tears as her chin quivered. Brittany took a deep breath and if Santana hadn't been looking at her lips, she would've missed the words that came out of her mouth. "I miss you."

You know how people always talk about their blood running cold? Well, Santana thought that was bullshit because right now, she felt her whole body catching fire. Her words were gone, and before she could say anything, Brittany had wiped her eyes and stood up.

"Sorry, I should go now."

Santana had to rush to keep up with the blonde's stride and only managed to say "Britt, wait, I – " before Brittany had waved good bye to Sophia and disappeared through the door.

* * *

**_Quinn_ **

She was in her happy place. The boys were out in the yard breaking something, probably, but she didn't care. All she cared about was the tiny brunette cuddling next to her in the big recliner. She usually didn't get to share these moments with her wife, because at this time she was normally in the theater getting ready for the show, but because she was now in rehearsals, she had what Quinn called a "normal person schedule". Every Tuesday and Thursday, Sally came to watch the twins for the afternoon as part of her PHD program. Sally was Quinn's friend from college and she was a psychology major. She was specializing in the dichotomy of identical twins and their behavior, and she had asked if she could include Chris and Luke in her studies. When Quinn and Rachel learned that this meant that they'd get two afternoons a week to themselves without having to pay Sally and that it wouldn't alter the twins' routine, they immediately said yes. So for two afternoons, Quinn curled up in the recliner in the basement and watched old movies. Whenever Rachel was home, it was their alone time and they cuddled and talked about anything that wasn't family or work related and usually ended up making out furiously.

This Thursday, it was West Side Story time, but just as the Sharks and the Jets were running through the basketball court, Quinn's phone buzzed. Rachel moaned her complaint and Quinn kissed her on the head before checking to see who it was. When she saw it was Santana, she groaned. "It's Santana, love. You know she won't stop calling until I answer."

Rachel let out a big sigh, paused the movie and curled closer to her wife, who balanced the phone in one hand and used the other to stroke Rachel's arm.

**This better be good, San.**

_Brittany was just here and I'm freaking out._

Quinn sat up straighter and Rachel raised an eyebrow in question. Quinn put Santana on speaker and mouthed  _Britt drama_  to her wife.

**What happened?**

_Long story short, her iPod played a song that we used to sing in high school and then Sophia invited her for dinner and it was all fine until she asked me about that fucking song and then she said she misses me and fucking left and I don't know what to think._

Quinn's eyes widened as Rachel made a face.

**I probably understood like half of that, but why are you freaking out? Because she said she missed you?**

_It's just… it's not just that, ok? It's all that comes with it. If she misses me then why the fuck did she leave for so long or why is she just NOW back? And why bolt after you say that?_

**Look, only Britt can answer those questions for you, but she probably left quickly because, like you, she freaked out. You guys have a complicated story and you need to like get together, sit down and talk it out. Preferably in a room with a lock so neither of you can just leave when it gets tough.**

Rachel nodded her agreement and both heard Santana exhale a couple of times on the line before she spoke again. This time, her tone was calmer.

_Yeah, I guess you're right. I just hate not knowing how that conversation is gonna go._

**I know, but there's no other way, really. Let's just wait until after this big recital you have us all attending, and try to talk to her. You've been doing well being around each other.**

_Fuck, I have to see her tomorrow at the thing and how am I supposed to act? Like she didn't say anything?_

**Tomorrow is not about you two. She's gonna be running around getting things ready, you just have to smile and say hello, don't overthink this.**

_Alright… I'm gonna go take a bath and try to calm down. Thanks for this Q._

**Anytime San.**

_And I hope you enjoyed the conversation Troll! I can hear you breathing through your shnoz from all the way over here._

Santana chuckled as Rachel gasped and brought a hand up to her nose. Quinn just smiled and kissed her wife's nose.

**Bye Satan.**

Quinn hung up and hugged her wife, who was huffing.

"I  _do not_ have a shnoz."

Quinn chuckled and started kissing Rachel's neck until she relaxed her arms and involuntarily moaned as Quinn found her pulse point.

"Let me make you breathe harder, love."

Rachel grabbed the front of Quinn's shirt and laid down on the recliner, bringing the blonde on top of her and kissing her hard. The phone bounced on the floor and disappeared under the clothes the pair were rapidly tearing off each other.

* * *

**_Brittany_ **

IT'S RECITAL DAY! And even though Santana has been on my mind since yesterday, I know I have to concentrate on pulling this off. I get to school earlier than usual and carrying twice as much stuff. I know I won't have time to go home and change, so I brought everything with me. The recital starts at 6, but before that we have to decorate the gym, put all the chairs in and stuff. I breeze through my classes, which are basically just a final run down of the dances and I am happy to note that everyone is doing awesome! As long as nerves don't play against them, they should be fine. And honestly, parents are more concerned looking at their individual child than at the group, so it's fine if they don't get it all perfect.

Two hours before curtain goes up! Erika, a couple of teachers and I are trying to make the gym look presentable and not like, well, an old gym. We put some scented candles in strategic places to try to combat the smell and so far, it's working. The stage is very simple: An elevated platform with a curtain up front. The first two rows are not seats but cushions on the floor for the kids to sit down when it's not their turn to dance so they can get a chance to see their friends. Erika says we should expect between 200 and 250 people, but I think that's too much. Still, she's the principal, so here I am unfolding 200 chairs. The other 50 if they show up can stand. Sorry.

30 minutes before show time! Most of the kids are here looking super cute in their special costumes. It's basically just jeans and a different colored t-shirt depending on the class, but still, they all have special hairdos and I added some glitter to their cheeks, so now they all sparkle! Some boys were reluctant to get glitter on their faces, but after seeing how cool it looked, they let me do it. I saw Santana walk in and my heart stopped for a sec. When she noticed me, she smiled and waved, so I waved back and felt my body relax. At least I hadn't fudged things up too bad between us yesterday. Sophia ran over to give me a hug before going over to her friends. I see Quinn, Rachel, their boys, Puck, Mercedes and Sam all showed up, and I think it's so great they all support each other! They all come over to say hello and how awesome everything looks. All but Santana who is fidgeting with Sophia's hair.

Here we go! It is pretty full in here, and that just makes me extra anxious! Erika says a few words before she introduces me and everyone claps. I wave like a dork and then just go into the first dance.

It's all over before I know it, and all the kids take the stage for a final bow. I see parents waving cameras, blowing their noses and standing up to cheer for their kids. Erika gives me a quick hug and congratulates me for a "show well done", as well as a couple of parents. Most of the kids come over to say goodbye before skipping away with their parents, and when I see Santana and the rest approaching, I feel my face reddening. Sam is the first to reach me, and he gives me those bear hugs that I like so much.

"You are such a great teacher Britt! Those kids were amazing!" I get more hugs and more comments along the same lines, and all I can say is thanks. Santana doesn't hug me, but she squeezes my hand and smiles at me, and I know that we are gonna need to continue our conversation from last night, but for now we're good. They invite me out to dinner with them to celebrate, and as much as I want to, I can't cause I need to finish cleaning up and all that. I do promise to make it to Mercedes and Sam's on Sunday for potluck, though.

Even though the event ended at 8, it's well past 11 when I finally arrive home. I am super tired and all I want to do is take a shower and collapse on my bed. Climbing the four stories to my apartment seems like torture, and I hesitate when I see a figure next to a suitcase slumped in front of my door. It's too dark to make out who it is, and I don't know what to do. I must've made some sort of noise, because the figure shakes and straightens up. My body tenses and I only relax when I hear the all too familiar voice.

"Hi honey, I'm sorry to just drop in on you unannounced!"

I rush over to hug my mom, who sounds tired and… sad? I don't know, something I haven't ever heard in my mom's voice.

"MOM! You can always come visit, but I'm sorry you had to wait out here for so long."

I open the door and help my mom come in, she immediately goes to the kitchen and splashes water on her face.

"No kiddo, don't worry, I haven't been here for too long anyways."

When I turn on the light and I see her puffy red eyes, I get super worried. I sit in front of her and pull her hands towards mine.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

She takes a deep breath and I can hear her voice shaking.

"Your daddy and I are getting a divorce."

I don't know what else happens, because I feel my world crumbling around me.

* * *

**_Santana_ **

The celebratory dinner went really well, and it was the official start of the kids' winter break. Santana almost killed Puck when he gave Sophia skull earrings, but she supposed it was better than another leather jacket.

On Saturday, Santana and Mercedes took Sophia, Chris and Luke to the zoo and while the kids were distracted in the petting zoo, the two women sat on a picnic table with cold beers.

"So, how is the whole teacher Brittany going?"

Santana smiled involuntarily. "Good, Sophia loves her, which doesn't really surprise me, and it seems the rest of the kids do too. I mean, you saw them all yesterday, it was a really good show."

Mercedes nodded. "And you?" She raised an eyebrow at her friend.

Santana took another sip before shrugging. "Sometimes it's good, sometimes we have awkward moments, but I know we need to clear the air at some point, and I was kinda hoping it could be tomorrow, you know?"

Mercedes wagged a finger in front of Santana's face. "Oh HELL to the no, you are NOT gonna get into your drama when it's MY turn for potluck. Y'all can do that afterwards somewhere other than my property."

Santana elbowed Mercedes and they laughed. "Fiiiiiine Wheezy, geez, you're so bossy. This ain't the Troubletones anymore so don't be getting any ideas!"

They clinked their bottles and laughed some more.

When Sunday came around, Santana was feeling more and more anxious. She purposefully hadn't texted Brittany at all since the recital because she didn't want the blonde to get wind of what her plan was. She and Sophia were ready early and drove up to Mercedes and Sam's a good hour before they usually showed up. When Mercedes opened the door and saw Santana shrug, she just shook her head and chuckled.

"You can help me finish cleaning up you eager beaver." Sophia had already disappeared towards the swings when Santana grabbed the broom and started sweeping.

Everyone showed up right on time, and they all started getting their usual dishes ready. No one but Mercedes and Santana seemed to notice that Brittany was not there, or that she'd been invited. Mercedes squeezed Santana's shoulder and whispered "I'll go call her and see what's up."

Santana nodded as Mercedes disappeared inside the house. She couldn't shake this feeling of disappointment. But again, she hadn't told Brittany that she wanted to talk to her, so there was no reason to be so sad. When Mercedes came back, she told Santana the call went straight to voicemail, three times.

Santana was beginning to worry, but Mercedes placed a hand on her knee. "Relax San, you know how Britt can get, she probably slept all morning and forgot to charge her phone. I'll try calling her again and if we don't hear from her in the next 24 hours, Sam has a spare key to her apartment, I'll send him over to check on her." Santana smiled and thanked her friend. After that, it was almost like any other Sunday with her friends. Almost.

That night, she could barely take it anymore, so she called Brittany. It rang for a while, before she heard Brittany pick up. Only it was a very terse Brittany.

**Yeah?**

Santana was surprised at the harshness in Brittany's voice, so she stammered.

_Um, yeah, hi, I was worried about you cause you didn't show up for the potluck._

Santana closed her eyes, she knew how lame that sounded.

**Oh. I didn't feel like it.**

Brittany's tone was flat, and it made alarm bells go off in Santana's head.

_Is everything ok, Britt?_

**Just leave me alone, alright?**

Santana was confused. She tried to soften her tone.

_Britt, I care about you, and I can tell something's wrong. I'm just saying, I'm here if you need to talk. Ok?_

**Stop. Just. Stop it. I don't need you!**

Brittany was practically shouting, and it made Santana harden.

_HEY, I was worried about you so I wanted to make sure you were still alive and shit, excuse me for caring._

**Well, now you know I'm 'alive and shit', so you can stop caring.**

Santana pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it, hardly believing what she was hearing and that it was coming from Brittany.

_Brittany, I am trying here!_

She fought the tears that were coming to her eyes. She didn't know if they were more angry tears or sad.

**WHO TOLD YOU TO TRY? JUST FUCKING BACK OFF OK?**

Click. And with that, Santana was left staring at her phone, making a fist with one hand as she felt the hot tears fall down her face. Back off? Fine, fuck this then. She deleted Brittany's phone number from her contacts and cleared her messages. She threw the phone across the room and went to take a shower, where it took her about 30 minutes to stop herself from crying.

* * *

**_Quinn_ **

Mondays were usually pretty slow at the office, so Quinn spent the morning organizing her week and answering the weekend emails she refused to check at home. She had grown up with a workaholic dad who never had time for her, so she had vowed that weekends were exclusively for her family, so her work phone got shut off on Friday at 6 and she didn't turn it on until Monday at 8 in the office. Her assistant Robbie knew she could reach her on her personal phone if there was an emergency, otherwise Robbie dealt with the weekend stuff. She was 23 years old, single and very driven, so she didn't mind it. In exchange, Quinn let her come in on weekdays at 11. It was a tradeoff that worked well for both of them.

This Monday, however, turned out to be very unusual. She had a voicemail from 4 am and when she checked it, she found a very indecipherable message from Brittany's number. She couldn't make out full words, but the gist was that Brittany was crying. Immediately, she dialed Brittany's number but didn't get an answer. If there was one thing Quinn Fabray-Berry prided herself in, was her ability to come up with alternate plans. So she decided to ring up the school and see if she was there. Usually teachers still had more meetings and such after the kids were done. She was in luck, the secretary said that yes, Miss Brittany was in a meeting right now that she didn't know how long it was gonna be, but she guessed an hour or so.

Without a second thought, Quinn texted Robbie telling her she had an emergency and would be gone for a bit, but not to worry and she drove over to the school. She decided to wait out by Brittany's car. After 40 minutes, she saw a disheveled Brittany leave the school. Well, truthfully, disheveled was too strong a word. But for someone like Quinn who had known Brittany for years, seeing her without that sparkle in her eyes or the ever present smile or spring in her step was more than enough to cause concern. When Brittany saw Quinn, she stopped and hesitated for a minute. Quinn shrugged and opened her arms. Brittany moved faster than she had in a long time and fell into Quinn's embrace. All Quinn could say was that she had gotten a weird voicemail and decided to check on Brittany.

After Brittany calmed down, she asked Quinn to walk with her, so they both headed towards the field next to the school and walked aimlessly around. Quinn let Brittany dictate their route and was silent, waiting for Brittany to break the silence.

After almost two full rounds, Brittany stopped and sat down on the grass. Quinn followed. Brittany started picking at the grass before she talked in a very quivery voice.

"I'm losing my family."

Quinn took a breath and waited for Brittany to elaborate. She put a tentative hand on the tall blonde's knee to encourage her to keep talking. Brittany took a deep breath.

"My mom showed up on Friday and told me she – um, she and daddy were – um, divorcing."

Quinn saw the tears falling down Brittany's face, but the tall blonde didn't seem to notice, or mind. She kept staring at the floor and picking at the grass, as she continued in a soft monotone.

"She stayed for a day and then went to my sister's and I haven't talked to daddy cause I don't know what to say, and last night I told Santana to fuck off and now I lost everyone in my family."

Quinn kept the pressure on Brittany's knee as she processed all this information.

"Britt, you're not losing your family. I know how it hurts, I've been there. And I know it sucks right now, but they all still love you, including Santana, and you know that. What can I do to help you?"

Brittany bit her lip. "Don't tell Santana about this, please. It's better this way."

Quinn hesitated. "She might eventually find out."

"I know, but not from you and not right now, please Quinn?"

The downside of being a cornerstone of the Unholy Trinity, she supposed. Quinn nodded.

"Ok Britt, I promise I won't tell her."

Brittany nodded. "Thank you." She shook the loose leaves from her hands and stood up, without looking at Quinn. "I'm gonna go home now." And she started to walk away.

Quinn stood up quickly and struggled to catch up with the tall blonde. "Wait, Britt, are you gonna be ok alone? Do you want me to come with you?"

Brittany shook her head and smiled a sad smile in Quinn's direction. "Not right now."

And with that, Brittany got in her car and left. Quinn couldn't shake the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. She had promised Brittany not to tell Santana, and she intended on keeping that promise. But she knew she'd need help from someone else.

"Fuck…." She exhaled as she hit number 5 on her speed dial.

**Hey Quinn! What's up?**

_Hey Sam… We need to talk. It's about Brittany._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for your kudos, comments, messages :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story as much as I am!


	12. Broken Mirrors and Mirages

**_Brittany_ **

That day when I get home, I don't even bother to turn on the lights. I feel my way to my room, shedding the now tainted clothes along the way, put on my oldest most worn down pair of pajamas and collapse on my bed. My phone rings after a while, but I just ignore the buzzing emanating from my bag somewhere between the kitchen and the living room. I stare at the faded lavender wallpaper and feel my mind go blank. I can actually _see_ the empty canvas in my mind, but I don't have anything to fill it with. I'm only aware of time passing by because of the light that starts to creep through my window. I figure it's around sunset, and I haven't moved from my spot. So I've been lying here for around 9 hours.

I don’t know if I fall asleep really or if my mind just stops caring. All I know is that it was dark, and now it’s light again. My phone has stopped buzzing. Good. My battery must be dead and that’s the best excuse to ignore calls. I turn on my back and look up at the ceiling, counting the shadows that start forming with the light. The shadows get longer, and longer, and the only thing I do is get up once to go pee. Then I get back in my earlier position and count the shadows.

I hear a timid knock on my door and I'm tempted to ignore it, but I know it won't go away that easily. It takes me a while to get to the door because my body feels stiff, foreign. When I open the door, I turn back around without waiting to see who is there; I just go back to my room and get in bed. I hear Quinn's voice calling for me as she closes the door. I don't pretend to be asleep, but I don't turn around either. I hear her stop at my bedroom door and ask me how I'm feeling. What kind of question is that? I make no attempt to move or answer her. She starts going on about how she brought me some food and maybe I'd like to sit down and eat a small piece of the lasagna Rachel made for me. When the only thing she gets from me is silence, she announces she's gonna tidy up my kitchen and put the lasagna in the oven. I hear her move around my apartment, and she keeps on a one sided conversation with me, about how my plates are a nice shade of green, that she sees I have no more coffee so she'll get me some, that where is my broom so she can sweep but never mind cause she found it. She says Sam is stopping by in a bit after he's done shooting so that maybe then we can all sit down for dinner. I tune out her voice when Quinn starts talking about something Chris did in practice that day, and I concentrate on the peeling lavender wallpaper. When my room gets completely dark, Quinn comes in and turns on the light. I squint my eyes but I say nothing as she turns back around and leaves.

I guess Sam is done filming, because when there's a second knock on the door, I hear Quinn saying it must be Sam and that she will start heating up the lasagna. Sam is a little braver than Quinn, because he actually comes in my bedroom and sits at the foot of my bed. His hand finds my ankle and he keeps it there as he says hello. I want to jerk my foot away, but I don't think I have the strength to do it. He's silent for a while, his hand still on my ankle, and then he slowly rocks my foot back and forth as he says I have to get up now to eat, because Rachel's lasagna has four different cheeses and chard and spinach and even though there's no meat in it, he swears it's the best lasagna ever. All I want is for them to leave, but I realize they won't until they get some sort of response from me. So I sigh and say ok, and as I turn around, I see a contented smile on Sam's face. He thinks he got through to me, and I let him think that only because I need them gone. The more they try to overcompensate by being extra cheerful and talkative, the more I retreat inside myself. I walk to the kitchen slowly and sit in one of the stools. Quinn has put down plates with steaming lasagna and glasses of some sort of juice. She and Sam keep up this litany of comments about the food and all I do is sit down, stare at my plate and try to push down the food. I assume it's good, but I don't have any taste for food anymore. No taste registers in my empty canvas of a brain, but I nod in agreement when Sam asks me if I like it. When I finish eating the small plate of lasagna and I refuse a second helping, I get up from the table and go back to my bed. I can hear Sam and Quinn whispering, but I'm not even remotely interested in what they're saying. I already know it's about me. I hear the water running and plates being moved around and then they're both by my bed saying good bye and how they'll come back with some groceries for me tomorrow and that Rachel and Mercedes send their love.

When the door closes behind them, I sigh. I don't think it's relief, really, it's just that I won't be forced to hold my breath and ball up my fists anymore. I realize I'm angry, or I would be if I had the strength for it, at them for being so overly transparent in their attempts to make me feel… better? I don't think that's the right word, but I guess they think it is. Truth is, I feel nothing. I just don't have any strength in me left. And I see it has been coming on since mom showed up. I can’t find words, I don’t want more company. I’m glad I have a break from classes because that means I’m not forced to quit. I don’t know when we start again but right now I don’t care. I don’t hear music in my head anymore and I don’t dance in my sleep. And I don’t mind.

I lose track of time and I only get up to use the toilet. One night when I went to pee, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and I hated it. I grabbed the mirror and smashed it in the shower. I felt better then, and I went back to bed. Quinn and Sam alternate to check on me. I hear them call my name when they get in and then the usual drone of their voices narrating what they're doing. How they brought me those cookies I love or that energy drink we used to drink during practice at school, that it's a shame I let the bread loaves they brought me go to waste because they know I liked them before. They don't get near my bed anymore. Sam sometimes turns on the TV and leaves it on in that channel that only airs old cartoons, but when he comes back another day and realizes the TV is on and exactly everything is the same as he left it, he turns it off and doesn't try to do it again for a while. Quinn used to leave me tea and juices by my bed at first, but now she doesn't anymore, because either she or Sam picks it up the next day and throws it away, untouched. I have now closed the door to my room so when they come in I only hear muffled sounds. They seem to respect it, because they only open it to say goodbye and close it again.

I wonder how long they're gonna keep this up. At least they haven't asked me to join them for dinner since that first night. And I know why. It's because each time after they leave I go in the kitchen and I pick some random items and flush them down the toilet so they think I ate. I have not only lost my taste for food, I've lost my appetite as well. I eat a cracker or a grape every now and then, and I drink water, but only because it hurts too much to go to the bathroom when I haven't had anything to drink for a while. I can't stand hurting, so I force myself to gulp down water. I alternate between hating myself for giving Sam a spare key to my apartment and being glad I did. Some days I want to take the key back from him and have him, and Quinn, leave me alone, but I know they will only tear down my door. Other days I'm glad I did because I sense it's become a routine for them, and they feel they're doing something good by taking care of me, or rather, thinking they are taking care of me. I don't really know if they come each day, or every other day, because time has lost all meaning to me.

I am counting the ridges on the lavender wallpaper when I hear the door to my apartment click open. After a few minutes of silence, I hear footsteps approaching my door. This is new. Usually they say hello and start doing things outside and don't disturb me until they leave. Maybe Sam has thought of something else to do today. No, this isn't Sam. Those aren't his footsteps; these are lighter, so it has to be Quinn. When my door creaks open, I am completely convinced I have lost my mind and that I'm going crazy. Because I recognize this scent. And it's not Quinn, and it's not Sam. That’s Santana’s scent. I would recognize that anytime, anywhere. My heart starts beating faster as I come to terms with my newfound insanity. Did my mind simply check out on me? Is this what I’ve come down to? Creating a new reality and immersing myself in it so much I can actually smell her perfume? The lavender wallpaper holds no answers for me, as I sense the mattress weighed down by someone next to me. I feel the body lay down behind me, I can actually feel the cool breath on my back, yet I do nothing. I close my eyes, enabling my mind to fall fully into its fantasy and I feel my heartbeat slow down again to its normal pace.

When I come to again I realize by the soft light on the wall that it’s definitely morning. This is the first time in… days? weeks? months? That I’ve slept through an entire night without any nightmares or sudden bursts of insomnia. I instantly notice that the scent and the mass behind me haven’t vanished. Could it be possible that Santana is actually here right now and not a figment of my imagination? I stretch my hand tentatively backwards until it finds its counterpart. Our fingers intertwine as they always did – practically of their own accord – and I pull the hand towards me, feeling her weight shift as she moves closer to me. I bring our hands up between my breasts and I let them rest there, where they feel at home. This is irrefutable proof that I’m not crazy as I feared, and that Santana is actually here. I look down at the chewed cuticles as her thumb creates delicate circles around my index finger. The tiny movements soothe me and I let out a sigh. I can feel her right elbow just barely touching the back of my head and so I lift my head a few inches so that she can slide her arm under it and be more comfortable. She does, and as I feel her body press against mine, my right hand finds hers and I rest the back of my hand against her palm. She clasps it firmly, but gently and I can feel tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. I let them fall without even attempting to wipe them away, because I don’t want to let go of her. The tears fall silently, and I close my eyes, because I can feel my entire body mourning and rejoicing at the same time. It’s mourning this love, this closeness it missed for so long and rejoicing at the touch that is so familiar but exciting and new, too. Once again, sleep pulls me in for I don’t know how long.

My eyes open again to an orange light reflecting off the wallpaper. So it must be close to sunset, I gather. We are still in the same position, and I can feel dampness under my head where my tears rest. I feel lighter all of a sudden. The tears washed away something inside me, something I’ve been suppressing for, I don’t know, since the moment I stepped off her porch all those years ago. I finally realize why I left, why I blocked her out of my life. There is only one word for it: _selfish._ I had a choice right then: I could choose us and our love and fight my hardest for it; or I could choose to figure out a life by myself and leave my old one behind. Back then, I thought those were my only choices, and I chose wrong. Because I didn’t think I could keep her and still venture out and do what I wanted to do: travel the world dancing. So once I made that decision, I blocked all reason out and locked my heart away. I became driven and selfish and for the longest time decided that I didn’t have to give her an explanation or have a final conversation. To me, how we left things was for the best, and so that’s what I did. And the weird thing is I don’t regret leaving. I regret the way I did it, yes, but not the rest. For so long I felt like there was no going back, there was nothing I could do or say to make things all right again, so I kept my distance and I refused to think about Santana or Lima, or anything relating to our life together. But I came back, right? On impulse, I jumped on a plane, said goodbye to everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, and came back to the States, to my hometown - to our town. I guess a part of me felt it was enough, and I needed to see if it was truly pointless or if there was some way to ask for forgiveness. That was pretty much all I felt I could ask for. But some things never change, and I know that Santana forgave me a long time ago because that’s who she is – even though I didn’t and I don’t deserve it, at least not yet.

I get this urge inside to turn around and look at her. I am suddenly very aware that I haven’t showered in I don’t know how many weeks and that I’m still in the same battered pajamas I put on that day after I left Hentworth’s. Very slowly as to not wake her, I shift my weight and turn around. Her big brown eyes startle me, because they’re staring directly at me. The first thing I notice is the intensity of her gaze. She’s searching my face for… something, I don’t know what. I let go of her hands so I could turn around, but her left arm is still around my waist and she doesn’t make an effort to move it, and I don’t either. Then I see the bags under her eyes, and it hits me that she probably hasn’t slept since she got here because she’s been looking out for me. And my heart breaks all over again, because even after all this time, she’s taking care of me even when she doesn’t have to.  I see her brow is contracted and I can read the worry in her face. But still she doesn’t say a word. I feel the tears fall down my face, and I see her eyes follow their trail all the way to the pillow. Right then, something that hasn’t happened at all in weeks surprises me: my stomach grumbles and I am fully aware of how hungry I am. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the sound and I see the edge of her lips twitch with the hint of a smile. I can feel my face burning up in embarrassment and all I can get out is one word, but it’s enough to break this spell we’re in.

“Dinner?” My voice is hoarse and my throat feels tight because I haven’t used it in a long time. But the smile finally breaks as she nods and helps me sit up. My legs feel wobbly and I dash – or well, walk slowly, really – to the bathroom to splash my face with cold water and take a few deep breaths. Then I wash my hands thoroughly and let the cold water run over them until they stop shaking. When I come back out and I don’t see her in my bedroom, I start to panic that maybe I did imagine it after all. But the unmistakable smell of something cooking calms me down. I walk to the kitchen and I see her cutting up something and then throwing it in a large pot over a low flame. There is a bottle of Gatorade on the table right next to a stool. I sit down and drink a sip from it slowly, as I watch Santana stir the pot and put the lid back in. She turns around, leans back on the counter and looks at me with that searching look again. I sense she’s waiting for me to break the silence, and while I’m still thinking of what to say, she takes an empty glass, walks over to the fridge, fills it with ice and sets it in front of me with a smile. I can’t help but smile back. After all, Gatorade always tastes better when it’s ice cold. I pour half the bottle into the glass and drain it all, then fill it back. I look up to say thank you, but she has already turned her back on me and is stirring the pot again. The smell wafting from it is familiar and it makes my mouth water.

“Smells good.” My voice is getting better, but it still comes out an octave lower than usual and it’s barely above a whisper. Santana hears me nonetheless, turns around and chuckling tosses me a napkin. I had actually started to drool. I wipe my mouth and I see her taking something out of a bag and placing it in front of me. It’s a baguette and that black olives cream her mother makes that I loved so much. She slices up the bread and spreads some cream on a slice and hands it over to me. Before she lets go of it, she looks at me intently but with a gentle expression.

“Eat slowly.” I nod and I force myself to take only a small bite of the bread. I chew it probably twice as long as necessary just to show Santana that I’m following orders. She grabs another slice and spreads it with cream again and puts it in front of me. Right on time, since I eat the rest of the first one in one more bite. She dips the corner of a piece of bread in the cream and turns around to stir the pot with the bread hanging from her mouth. After a fourth piece of bread I gulp down the rest of my Gatorade and then I sit back to watch Santana cook. I guess she can sense my stare, because when she turns around after a while, she raises her eyebrows in that Santana way that says _What are you looking at?_ but the smile on her face betrays the tough look she’s trying to pull off. She turns off the stove and takes the lid off the pot. I don’t think my kitchen has ever smelled this good before. She brings two spoons and places one in front of me and one across from me. Then she gets two bowls and fills them with whatever was in the pot. As she places the bowl in front of me and sits down, my smile widens. It’s beef stew. I look at her with tears in my eyes. She smiles and shrugs.

“What? It’s Thursday.” I reach out my hand across the table and she takes it without hesitating. I clasp her hand and look deep in her eyes, trying to convey in two words a world of unsaid things.

“Thank you.” I feel the wave of unsaid things she’s saying back wash over me and crash around my heart. The room is buzzing with electricity and I can feel the edges of my vision trembling. Our eyes never leave each other and in those few seconds, we travel far and wide, together. And I know what she’s going to say even before she does.

“Don’t mention it.” Our smiles feel like the same ones we gave each other countless times ten years ago. This was our routine, one of our many repeated exchanges. And it finally feels right again, so before I can stop myself, I know what comes next.

“I just did.” I see a tear escape her left eye, and she wipes it away without taking her gaze off me. She takes a deep breath.

“Then don’t do it again.” She squeezes my hand and runs her thumb across my knuckles. Ten years ago our exchange ended in a kiss, but I can understand why it doesn’t this time. That squeeze feels just as intimate though, and I can feel my heart swelling. After some time, she motions to the plate with her other hand. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.” I nod and reluctantly let go of her hand as I grab my spoon and dig in. It’s delicious, way better than what mom used to make. I can’t control the noises that escape from me with every mouthful. Santana just smiles and keeps eating, dipping her bread in the bowl as she eats. I don’t know if it’s intentional or mechanical, but she leaves the three slices of bread she knows I always use to mop up the last contents of my beef stew. We eat in a comfortable silence, and I am careful to eat slower than I usually would, because I know my stomach hasn’t received this amount of food in a long time and I want to keep it all down. When I’m done eating, I stand up and grab my plate, ready to fill it up with more food, but Santana pulls up a hand and stops me.

“Wait before you eat again, or you might get sick.” I agree and sit back down. She pushes her plate away from her and leans on her elbows while looking at me with a half-smile. Her eyes are softer this time around, and I can see her mind churning. I want to look away, to break the gaze, but I can’t. I tug at my pajamas self-consciously and bite my lip. I really need a shower I think.

“I think I’m gonna take a shower.” She smiles and says “ok” before grabbing the plates and putting them in the sink. I can’t stand up, though. I know it’s stupid, but I just have to ask her. “Will you stay while I shower?” She turns around in a flash, dropping the plates.

“Of course, I’ll be here when you get out.” She motions around the apartment. “Fair warning though, I might clean.”

I chuckle and she smiles at me. I grab a towel from my linen closet and go to my bathroom. I take my dirty clothes off and leave them on a pile in the floor as I turn the faucet on to leave it warming before I step in the shower. The moment I put a foot in the shower, I feel a piercing pain shoot through my foot all the way to my spine. I let out a cry as I look down at the mirror shard lodged in my foot. I hear Santana running into the bathroom and holding me from behind as I try to bobble in place, holding my right foot up. She helps me back to the edge of my bed and kneels in front of me to look at my foot.

“Shit, ok, just breathe Britt, relax, I’m gonna pull it out ok? Where’s the alcohol?” I point in the direction of the bathroom and mutter something about under the sink. “Ok, can you hold your foot up for me while I go get it?” I nod and hold my leg up high as she dashes into the bathroom, closes the faucet and comes back with alcohol and some gauze. She kneels again and lets my foot rest on her leg as she dabs alcohol around my wound. Tears are running down my face but I’m biting my lip, trying to refrain myself from crying in pain because I know it will only make her nervous. “Here we go Britt, it’s not that deep, I’m just gonna apply some pressure until it stops bleeding.” She discards the glass shard into a wastebasket and gently keeps the alcohol-soaked gauze pressed against the gash. After a while, it stops stinging and I start breathing normally. Only now do I finally realize that I’m totally naked. My arms immediately dart up to cover my breasts and I press my legs together. Santana looks up at me and furrows her brow in confusion. After a second, her face relaxes and she exhales. She stares right at me and I have to strain to hear her voice, because it’s barely a whisper. “Britt, it’s me. It’s ok.” I feel the color rushing up my cheeks as I sense the hurt in her voice. She turns her attention back to my foot, where she lifts the gauze and looks at the wound for a second before nodding and throwing the gauze away.

“It stopped bleeding, but after you shower I’m gonna bandage it. Can you stand?” She stands up and offers me a hand. I take it as I put all my weight on my left leg and I gingerly try to put my right foot on the floor. It’s useless, the second it hits the ground, I feel the pain shooting up my leg again. I let out a whimper and she holds me as I hop on one foot, shaking my head. “I figured, ok, I’m gonna help you get in the shower alright? And I’ll stay on the other side of the curtain just to make sure you won’t fall.” I suddenly remember why I cut my foot, so before we start going to the bathroom, I find my voice.

“Wait, um, my bathroom mirror is shattered in the shower, that’s how I cut myself.” I see the confusion in her eyes, the unasked question _Why was your bathroom mirror shattered in the shower?_ But instead of asking it, she helps me sit back down.

“Hold on then, I’ll go clean it up so that you don’t cut yourself again.”

After she cleans the remains of my bathroom mirror, she helps me get in the shower and stands firmly just out of reach while I let the warm water wash away all the grime from my body. I try to put some weight on my right foot, but it’s no use. I wiggle my toes slowly but they feel stiff. Every time I lose my balance I feel her hand shoot into the shower to grab my arm. When I’m done and I pull the curtain, she’s waiting there with my towel spread in front of her. I take it and wrap it around me, before I let her help me out and hobble to my bed. I don’t know if it’s the loss of blood, the injury, or the long overdue shower, but my energy is drained. So instead of drying myself up and putting on clean clothes, I climb deeper into my bed still wrapped in my damp towel and doze off.

When I wake again, I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping, but I can hear Santana’s voice from the living room.

“Hey Q, how is Sophie? … Aww really? That’s so cute, I hope you took pictures of them … No, I don’t know how long Q, but I figure a couple more days … Thanks, I will. Tell Sophia I love her, and I’ll talk to her tomorrow … Ok, bye.”

I close my eyes as she walks back in the bedroom so she doesn’t know that I heard her. She sits on the bed next to me and brushes my hair out of my face with her hand. I turn around and open my eyes to see her smiling at me, more relaxed than she was yesterday, but still looking tired.

“Hey… how’s your foot?”

I wiggle my toes, glad to notice that it doesn’t hurt as much.

“It feels better, thanks.”

“You should get dressed and let me hang that towel. Here, let me help you up.” She offers me a hand and I stand up. This time, I can put both my feet on the floor, but I still can’t put all my weight on my right foot. I put on sweats and Santana helps me out to the couch, explaining that she’s gonna change the sheets. I turn on the tv and after a while, Santana comes with a sandwich and a bottle of water and sits next to me. I nibble the sandwich as we watch some old movie. Out of the corner of my eye I see Santana’s eyelids droop and her head jerking back constantly to stop herself from falling asleep. I put down my plate and turn around so that I’m facing her and take her hands in mine.

“San, how long has it been since you’ve slept?” Her eyes dart everywhere but she can’t meet my gaze.

“Um, I dunno, a day or two.” She bites her lip and looks at our hands. I squeeze her hands and force her to look up at me.

“You need to rest, too. I’m – ” I want to say fine, but I know that’s not true and I can’t lie to her. So I shrug and say “I’m better. You can stop looking out for me for the night and sleep.”

She nods and in an automatic move, I shuffle back and open my arms and she falls into them. We snuggle closer and get comfortable in the couch and I hear a sigh coming from her lips as she closes her eyes. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes until I can feel her breathing even out. I finish watching the movie and I turn on old cartoons. I am suddenly very much awake and I can’t stop caressing down Santana’s side as she sleeps. Her face looks relaxed, and completely trusting. My heart aches at all the things I know we need to talk about, and a part of me wants to wake her up so we can get this done, but another part of me knows she has earned her rest after taking care of me these past few days, and the least I can do is take care of her for the next few hours.

I don’t know when exactly I fall asleep, but when I wake up, the light is filtering in. I look down and Santana is still sleeping, but she stirs when she feels me move. Her grip around my waist tightens as she starts to wake and she takes a breath in as she opens her eyes, her gaze instantly finding mine.

“Good morning.” I smile at her sleepy eyes.

“Mornin’.” Her raspy voice brings back a million memories of mornings waking up together.

“Pancakes?” I wiggle my eyebrows as she laughs, that silent laugh that I always felt proud I elicited from her.

“Perfect.” 


	13. A walk in the park

_**Brittany (cont.)** _

She gets up and offers her hand to me. I take it and I stand up, wincing when I put my right foot on the floor. I almost forgot about it. She stops moving.

"How is your foot?"

I try to put more pressure on it. "It's better, I think I can walk on it now."

And just to show I can, I walk unassisted to the kitchen and start to take out the things we'll need. She stops me and motions towards the chair.

"You sit down, I'll cook."

I let out a breath. "I want to help."

She puts her hands on my shoulders and makes me sit down. "Tell you what: I'll bring the ingredients over, you can make the batter. Deal?"

I nod and smile. After I have everything in front of me, I carefully measure out the ingredients and mix the batter in the big bowl. I am very aware of Santana sitting next to me with a cup of coffee. We are silent, and I know what's coming after the pancakes and although I'm not ready for it, I know it's time.

When they are all ready and we are sitting at the table, I lift my fork to dig in, but something feels wrong. It makes a loud sound as I set it next to my plate, and I see Santana stare intently at me. I bite my lip and the words escape me.

"I'm sorry."

She puts down her bite and I see her hands dash under the table to her lap. I know she's wringing her wrists.

"What are you sorry for?"

I shrug and make this circling motion with my hand. "Everything, I suppose. I'm sorry I snapped at you on the phone, I'm sorry you're here taking care of me because I'm – I'm like this, I'm sorry I came back and disrupted your life and mostly I'm sorry I walked out of your life like I did."

I didn't mean to just drop it all in one breath, but there it is. She lifts her eyebrows and nods a few times. Her whole face is just sadness.

"That's… pretty much everything, yeah, you were right. But can we talk about it one thing at a time?"

I nod, so she keeps talking. "I'm not gonna lie – I can never do that with you – it did hurt when you yelled at me on the phone, I didn't understand what was happening. But, I got a call later that day that surprised me, a lot and helped me make sense of it all."

Damn Quinn. I thought she could keep this a secret! "Who was it?"

She smiles a little, like what she's gonna say is totally crazy. "Abby."

What? "Wait, what? Why did my sister call you?"

She shrugs. "She kept calling your phone and you never answered and she called the school and the principal gave her my number cause Abby said we knew each other." She's looking at me in that searching way again. "She told me about your parents."

My eyes fill again and I shake my head. I can't talk about this. I try to sit up, but before I can, she comes right next to me with her chair and pulls me back down. She is now just inches away from me, and she is holding my hands in hers.

"Don't close up, Britt. Let yourself feel it." She's squeezing my hands and I can feel the intensity coming off her, and so I let out the breath I've been holding and cry. Loud and dry sobs. I squeeze her hands back and I let all my tears go. When I feel like I can talk again, I wipe my eyes and I clear my throat. I can't look at anything but our entangled hands.

"I feel silly for getting like this, I know most parents get divorced but I just never thought it would happen to mine. Especially after so long. I thought I wouldn't have to go through this at this point in my life."

Her thumbs are making those little circles and I concentrate on their movements as I hear her voice. "It's not silly. You're allowed to feel like this. And you know as much as it hurts to admit this, your parents are only human and they make mistakes, too. You know they love you and Abby and they love each other, but they just weren't happy anymore."

I bite my lip. "I don't want to lose my parents."

"You won't. This is just something you'll have to get used to. Abby says they're still doing Christmas and holidays together, all four of you, so you see they're trying."

"I don't know how to stop feeling empty."

She takes a moment and lifts my chin so I'm looking at her. Her brown eyes are enveloping me in a cloud.

"This thing isn't just about your parents, and I think we both have been trying to ignore it. We can't do that anymore."

I don't know what to say, so I just inch closer to her. She breaks our stare to close her eyes for a moment. When she opens them up again, her voice is a lot more controlled. "You also said you were sorry you made me come take care of you. That's not true. I came because after talking to Abby, I called Quinn and when she found out I knew about your parents, she told me what Sam and her had been doing, and that they weren't getting through to you, and I thought I'd try. You didn't make me come here, I came because I wanted to and if things were different, I'd still come to help you, Britt, you know that."

I force my voice out, because my throat feels very tight. "I don't deserve it, though. After all I did – I"

She shakes her head. "Don't think like that. We all deserve to have people who care about us."

I can't hold her hands anymore, it's too much. I let go of her and let my forehead rest on my palms as I lean forward. "Why are you not mad at me?"

"I spent close to ten years imagining seeing you again and thinking I'd be so mad I'd either strangle you or yell at you until my voice gave out. But really, I'm not mad. I just want to understand. You hurt me, like no one's ever done it, because you knew exactly what to do that would damage me. And I never knew why."

I know she's crying, and I'm crying too. I don't want to, but I know I have to look up. And I see her eyes, raw and filled with the past. I take a deep breath.

"Do you remember Puck's Superbowl party our senior year?" I see her nod in confusion. "Well, that day while you were watching the game with Puck and the others in the basement, I got bored during the second quarter and I went out to try and buy some sweets. When I got to the gas station, there was this older woman in front of the store sitting on the bench. I bought my sweets and sat down next to her. She was upset or angry, so I offered her some of my sour patch kids. She said her husband would come pick her up shortly, cause he was probably out doing whatever he wanted while she waited like an idiot. She told me they had been together since high school and that she was so in love that she followed him across the country when they graduated because he wanted to come east and have a shrimping boat. He got his boat, then he got more and he became very successful and she was a housewife and had his kids. She always wanted to be a chef and have a restaurant, but because she loved him so much, she never said anything and was content being by his side. This woman sounded so bitter, and when the husband showed up, she turned to me and told me 'never let your loved one be the center of your universe. You must be the center of your universe.' And then she left."

I take a deep breath. I can see Santana is following my story, but her mind is racing with a million things. Before she can say anything, I continue talking because I need to get it all out.

"I thought about what she said the entire way back to Puck's and I realized that I always saw myself as your girlfriend first. And that everything I did was with your – and our – wellbeing in mind. And that maybe unintentionally I had let some chances pass to do something that I wanted to do, like go to that ballet clinic one summer because I had promised we'd go to cheerleading camp together. And it's not like I didn't want to do those things for us, it's just that I realized that everything was for us, or for you, but not just for me. And it freaked me out. So that's when I started looking at dance programs for after graduation. And when the Sidney thing came along, I jumped at the chance. I know I was being selfish, but I thought I had to."

She is crying harder now, and I know I am too. "Why didn't you tell me any of this? Was I so overbearing that I didn't let you speak your mind?"

I shake my head and take her hand in mine. "No, nothing like that. I always could tell you things I couldn't tell anyone and I was never scared you'd think I was… dumb or stupid like everyone else thought. But I thought that if I told you, I'd hurt your feelings or that I'd have second thoughts and not go through with it. And part of me wanted to just solve one problem without running to you, because I didn't want you to help make this decision, I wanted to do it myself. I know now that I should've said something, and I truly regret that I didn't, but at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Like I needed to do this all on my own without talking about it with you or with anyone else."

"I think I would've understood anyway if you'd explain it like that."

I bite my lip, because I know this. "I know. But it's hard to try and explain my train of thought at the moment, I just thought running away was better when it wasn't. I thought a broken heart was cleaner than just staying in limbo and not knowing what would happen."

She stands up and starts pacing around the apartment. I sit and stare at her feet as she moves. I fall silent until she sits back down in front of me. She shuts her eyes tightly. "There's no point in discussing why I think that was wrong, but I guess the logical part of me understands your way of thinking, even if I don't like it or don't agree with it. But why did you leave for so long? Why did – did you leave – me?"

Her voice breaks as the tears come freely. She wipes them away and looks away from me. I want to reach out and touch her, comfort her. But I fear she'll pull away and that would break me even more, so I just lean forward.

"You were always bigger than Lima, bigger than anyone there. And I didn't want to hold you back from anything. I thought the way we left things that day at your house was the best way to part. And it hurt. Every day for the last 10 years, my heart ached. But it wasn't fair to you or to me to try and stay together when we weren't even in the same time zone. I know we would've tried our best and it would've destroyed us in the long run. Santana, I know this sounds awful, but I don't regret leaving and dancing all over the world. The only thing I regret is how I left, and how I left you. And for that, I am truly sorry. I know it takes more than just the words to deserve your forgiveness, but I'm here to try and earn it."

I let out a really long breath. Finally it's out there. I'm now holding her hand, and I'm looking at her, but she's looking down and crying silently. At least she didn't pull back. The silence hangs above us for quite a while, and I urge her with all my heart to break it, but it takes her a long time.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I can't really – I don't know what to say, I guess I need to think about everything you just said."

I nod and mutter 'of course' but I'm not sure she hears me, because she keeps talking.

"I don't want to drive right now, so um, this is gonna sound super weird but can I take a shower?"

Ok, on my mental list of things she might say when I finally tell her the truth, that one was definitely not on the list. Still, I nod.

"Sure."

She squeezes my hand one last time and disappears into my bedroom. After I hear the shower turn on, I look down at the pancakes. They are now ice cold, but I take a bite anyway. They taste great, because they taste like relief.

* * *

_**Santana** _

After taking a long shower at Brittany's where she mainly cried and stood under the warm water, Santana hurried out of the apartment with a curt "See you."

Santana wasn't scared that Brittany would lapse back into her previous state, she knew that the blonde would take a breath and slowly return to her normal routine now that they'd cleared the air. She drove home way under the speed limit stopping only to buy a pack of cigarettes. She hadn't smoked in a few years, but damn, she needed them right now. When she got home she texted Quinn to say she'd pick up Sophia on Sunday, she grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and walked out to her balcony. It was a crisp afternoon and she kicked off her shoes as the first cigarette touched her lips. Santana inhaled slowly, feeling the smoke going through her throat and back out in little puffs. Tears were coming down, but she was calm, almost like in a trance. She noticed everything around her: The trees changing colors, the clouds in the horizon threatening rain, the faint sounds of people going about their day around the neighborhood. She looked down into her backyard and started counting the planks in the fence. A second cigarette, and 36 planks and counting. She noticed some of Sophia's toys in the sandbox and made a mental note to pick them up later. When she finished counting planks, she opened the bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. Cigarette number three, a slight clearing of her throat, and glass number one. She threw her head back and closed her eyes. Brittany was there, laughing. Santana quickly opened her eyes and drew a sharp breath. She had heard the laughter clearly, and it made her pulse quicken. The glass started to rattle in her hand, so she put it back down and started opening and closing her fist to calm herself.

She was afraid to blink even, just in case the blonde was still there, behind her eyelids. She felt restless but frozen in place at the same time. Her abuela's voice came drifting from afar, saying  _cuenta tus bendiciones primero, Tanita_. It was the same thing she always said when Santana was feeling overwhelmed – even at five years old when a 200 piece puzzle proved too difficult for her – and so she closed her eyes, like she always did, and started counting the blessings in her life. First and foremost would always be Sophia. It had been this way since she had held her in her arms at the hospital. So Santana spoke in clear voice, ignoring the occasional break in her tone from the tears as she counted with her fingers. "Sophia, Mamá, Abuela, amazing friends, my godsons, a job I love, a house of my own, no mortgage, my music – and" She took a breath as she realized what her brain was telling her to say. So she added in a whisper "Brittany." And she broke down in tears. Santana allowed the loud racking sobs to take over and she hugged her knees as she sobbed and released all the pent up anger, sadness, resentment and fear she had built up over the last ten years. When her throat felt raw and she noticed there were no more tears in her swollen eyes, she walked into her bathroom, splashed water on her face and went back outside. The sun was setting now, so as everything turned dark around her, she lit up another cigarette and finished the glass of wine. It was time to think of what to do next.

* * *

_**Brittany** _

It's been five days since Santana left and I don't know what to do with myself. No, let me explain that better: I can't stand not knowing what's gonna happen. But I guess it's fair since that's how I left things so long ago. The first thing I did was call Sam and Quinn and thanked them for what they did for me. We agreed to meet for dinner on Saturday. I focus on trying to find the right space for my dance studio, talking to my old dancing friends to see who is in town, who knows someone who can help me and all that. I also called my mom for the first time since she visited. She's doing better, and asks me to come home for Abby's birthday and Christmas and I promise that I will. The second day after Santana left, I woke up practically dancing in bed. It was the first time that had happened in months. So I spent two days perfecting a routine. It feels good to dance again, to want to dance again. Day five arrives, and I'm back from the grocery store putting stuff away when my phone rings. I pick up without noticing who's calling because my hands are full of potatoes. I cradle the phone with my shoulder and I almost drop everything when I hear Santana say hi.

**Um, hi, San.**

_Is this a bad time?_

**No, no, I was just putting some groceries away.**

_I hope it's not all Captain Crunch and frozen meals._

I chuckle as I hear her do the same on the other end.

**Not all of it, I have some actual vegetables and fruits this time, promise.**

_So, um, I was wondering if you were busy later? Maybe we could go for a walk?_

**Sure, I mean, no,**  - I take a deep breath – **I'm not busy. A walk sounds great.**

_Ok, I'll come by your place around 4, alright?_

**Yeah, see you then.**

_Bye_.

I let the phone fall as I digest this new information. Santana wants to see me. She sounded very distant and awkward, but I guess that's understandable given the situation. I decide to take a shower to calm myself down. I realize a walk doesn't equal forgiveness, but maybe now she's ready to talk some more. I see it as a good sign.

Four o' clock comes around and I am practically jumping at every noise coming from outside. She texts me to say she's here, so I walk down. I need to stop myself from running because I know I need to appear calm. When I see her leaning on her car, twisting and untwisting her ankles, she smiles a faint smile and I wave as I approach her. Do we hug? I guess we don't, since when I'm close enough she stands up straight and gives my hand a squeeze as she motions for me to follow her. We walk for a bit before she turns her head around to look at me.

"You look better Britt."

I smile, shrug and say thanks. "I've been showering more often."

She laughs and kind of pokes me with her elbow. The air kind of relaxes and we walk in comfortable silence towards the park near my house. After a while she takes my elbow and rests her hand there, like she used to do. We reach a bench that overlooks a small lake and sit down. She takes her arm back and puts her hands in her pockets as she crosses her legs and leans back. I mimic her relaxed stance even though I really want to be running around and jumping to release all the energy I have right now. I wait for her to say something, and I don't have to wait too long.

"I never hated you. Even though everyone thought I should."

I only nod and work on not letting my tears fall. I know she needs to talk. She continues in a sort of monotone voice.

"I wondered for a long time why I didn't hate you, and I guess it's because part of me knew why you did it already, even if I didn't want to admit it. It wasn't until five days ago that I finally understood that part of me. People always say that there's a fine line between love and hate, but I never really fell for that. I think sometimes we mistake love for hate because we aren't ready for it. And the truth is that it was always very clear to me since we first kissed that I loved you."

She turns to me, and there's not a single tear in sight. I see the control in her, and I bite my lip, allowing her to finish whatever she practiced on saying.

"Even when you weren't here, you were still a big part of my life and of every decision I made. I learned to quiet your voice in my head, but it was always there. Even Sophia sort of came because of you."

What? "What?"

She straightens up a bit and clears her throat. I have to strain to listen to her because her voice seems like it's coming from very far away.

"It was senior year of college, beginning of March. I was feeling very melancholic I guess because it had been exactly 6 years since I first told you that I loved you. I was visiting Quinn at Yale that week as I did each year. We were at her sorority house and everyone was going to this frat party. I wanted to just stay and watch movies with Q, but she insisted I needed to get out of the room. We got to the party and it was just like any other frat party I had been to, guys drunk playing stupid games and girls pretending not to notice said boys looking at them. Since I was out anyway, I decided to drink and boy did I drink… About an hour after we got there, some random dude groped Quinn's ass, she slapped him and left. I didn't notice she was gone until much later, but I was so drunk I didn't care anymore."

She shifts and spends a moment looking at the water. If this is going the way I think it is, I don't want to hear it. So I need to ask something.

"Santana, did someone – " She shakes her head and puts her hand over mine and squeezes.

"No, nothing like that." I exhale and she continues. "As I said, I was drunk and just wanted to stop thinking. So I went to the backyard where everyone was dancing. I saw a girl in a corner I thought was cute and I started dancing towards her. It got pretty heated and she kissed me, and I let her. I hadn't really kissed anyone in a long time, so I enjoyed it. When she told me if I wanted to go somewhere else, I realized it wasn't a girl at all, it was a guy. But he was so pretty that I didn't care, so I followed him into the bathroom."

She puts her head in her hands and lets out a hollow laugh. "I can't even remember if I enjoyed it or even if we locked the door. All I know is that I left the party shortly after and woke up in Quinn's bed with a bucket next to me on the floor. I hadn't had a hangover like that since Rachel and Quinn's wedding a year before, when Puck and I drank about 10 thousand pitchers of margaritas. A few months later, I found out I was pregnant. It scared the shit out of me, Britt. I couldn't remember this guy's name or what he looked like, so I went and got tested for STDs and everything, and I came back clean. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to go through with the pregnancy. But around that time Quinn confided in me that she and Rachel were thinking about having kids, Q's egg implanted in Rachel. They had started the process already and were very excited. I felt it was a sort of sign, like I wouldn't go through this alone, and this baby would have a semblance of a family. When Sophia was born, I knew I had made the right call. The twins were born about 6 months afterward and they're all inseparable."

I don't know where to start. So I say the first thing that comes to mind. "Did you ever try to find the father?"

She shakes her head. "No, I told you, I couldn't pick him out of a line up if I wanted to. And it's better this way, there are enough parental figures in Sophia's life. I don't know how I'm going to explain this to her when she's older, but I would never lie or try to hide the truth from her."

She turns towards me, and I see her eyes are glazed, but still no tears are coming.

"So you see Britt, you've stayed with me throughout all these years even when I didn't want you to because it hurt too much. To have you back in my life now is something I never allowed myself to dream about. But I trust in fate and how things happen for a reason. Sophia taught me that. I don't know where we go from here, but I need to know that you won't check out on me again, because I don't think I can go through this all over again. It's the only thing I ask for. Don't shut me out again, please."

Tears are flowing down my cheeks, but I don't break our gaze. I clear my throat. "I didn't come back only to leave again, Santana. I don't know what will happen with us now, but I don't want to be out of your life again. It's gonna take me a lot to earn your trusts back, and I know and accept that. But I want you to know that I'm here. It took me a long time to realize where I wanted to be and who I was, but I'm here now. I promise."

I lean forward and we hug. And it's electric, as it was before. I can feel her walls crumbling, and I feel my heart growing like the Grinch's at the end of the movie. And I know I'll do whatever is in my power to not make her cry ever again. Unless they're happy tears.


End file.
